Kirk: A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and a baby. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
“Uh-huh…”
Kirk: So the father tears off the daughter’s clothes and starts licking her asshole. Then the mother shoves a tube down the her throat and starts vomitting in it while the son calls the baby a filthy nigger and throws it against the wall as hard as he can. They gut the daughter with a knife and then start playing jumprope with her entrails. They rap her guts around the father’s dick and tie it so he can’t cum. Then they all start to fuck eachother all over the dimemboweled daughter. The father and son shove their arms up the mother's ass and go "One, Two, Three Four, I declare a thumb war, and start thumb wrestling inside her rectum.
Then the mother licks the son’s balls while the father nails a tiny ceramic Crucified Jesus to his son’s penis and starts jacking him off. The son shoots a hot wad of cum in the air and then father exclaims, “That’s Jesus rising from the grave!” So they wrap the baby, who is at this point bawling his eyes out, in seran wrap and shove a glass tube up its ass. They then take turns shitting in the tube, and blood and shit starts coming out of the baby’s mouth.
They keep going until there’s nothing left but a chunky mess of dead baby in a bag. They fashion that bag into a crude dildo and start pleasuring the mother with it while the father brings out a slew of baby ducklings. They bring the mother duck out in a cage, who has had her arms and legs broken and all of her feathers plucked out, and make her watch as they stomp up and down on her babies, and then have a big fuck and suck fest all over them, leading to one big simulanious climax.
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!”
“I’m reporting you people to Star Fleet”
Kirk: “Fire Phasers”
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