Serious Question

[j2k4]

My ex-father-in-law was dying of cancer in the hospital.

The doctors approached me with (what has become) the standard question having to do with "heroic measures" in order to keep him alive.

At this point he had suffered 2 post-op strokes and could only communicate by squeezing my hand.

I asked him-he signaled to me that, no, he didn't want any heroic measures.

It took me two hours to overcome my own reluctance and tell the doctors.

Left to my own devices, I cannot honestly say, in a hard and fast way, just what I would do.

[lynx]

Originally posted by 3rd gen noob+16 November 2003 - 00:31--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (3rd gen noob @ 16 November 2003 - 00:31)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-scribblec@16 November 2003 - 00:25
you people might say yes now

but if you were really in this situation do you really think you will be thinking like this?

i&#39;d think of how badly the person i loved was suffering
if i knew there was no chance they&#39;d &#39;come back&#39; then i know i could give the instruction without the burden of guilt

this situation has happened close to me before
the right decision was made then [/b][/quote]
This is exactly the position I was in about 15 years ago with my mother. We had actually discussed what we would like to happen in this sort of situation.
After a number of major operations (over several years) to replace her arthritic joints, she finally came home and was able to walk without sticks and more importantly without intense pain.

The following morning she had a major stroke (mainly caused I believe by the steroids used to treat her arthritis). She was in very a bad state after this. Over the next couple of months she deteriorated, suffering more strokes, and despite knowing her wishes I was unable to do anything.

The hospital she was then sent to had (it has now closed) very few discharged patients. I have no way of knowing that they actively used drugs in the way I suggested earlier, but I suspect that was the case, and if so I am grateful to them for relieving her suffering.

[cowswithguns]

Yes to both in theory but in practice who knows....I hope I would have the courage to be able to make that decision.

As Nikkid pointed out, we have no hesitation in ending the suffering of our pets, why should we have such difficulty with a human loved one.

[silent VI]

no... i could never ever have anything to do with the death of a loved 1

[lynx]

Originally posted by DrunkeNStylE@16 November 2003 - 02:57
no... i could never ever have anything to do with the death of a loved 1

You say that, and I respect your decision.

But have you ever been in the position of watching a loved one suffering so much that it is breaking your heart? It might change your mind.

[3rd gen noob]

Originally posted by lynx+16 November 2003 - 03:05--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (lynx @ 16 November 2003 - 03:05)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-DrunkeNStylE@16 November 2003 - 02:57
no... i could never ever have anything to do with the death of a loved 1

You say that, and I respect your decision.

But have you ever been in the position of watching a loved one suffering so much that it is breaking your heart? It might change your mind. [/b][/quote]
that was what i was thinking but didn&#39;t want to post

[UKMan]

I have absolutely no idea.

[j2k4]

I know that in my instance I felt better for having been able to determine my father-in-law wished to die, but if he hadn&#39;t been able to communicate this?

BTW-I find equating humans and animals a bit off-putting, but I&#39;m sure that is due to my religious beliefs.

[JONNO_CELEBS]

Realistically speaking not one of us could possibly say Yes or No unless we have or will be in that actual possition of...........Here&#39;s the switch.....up is off&#33;

We can all say "Yeah I would do that" like when talking about rescuing someone, until you have actually been in that moment you can not possibly know what you would do.

Jonno B)

[UKMan]

Originally posted by JONNO_CELEBS@16 November 2003 - 04:27
Realistically speaking not one of us could possibly say Yes or No unless we have or will be in that actual possition of...........Here&#39;s the switch.....up is off&#33;

We can all say "Yeah I would do that" like when talking about rescuing someone, until you have actually been in that moment you can not possibly know what you would do.

Jonno B)

Thats the point i was making - i have no idea, never been in that situation. I was present when i had one of my pets put to sleep - held him whilst the needle was put in and watched him de. It was horrific and i cried. God knows how i would react in a situation with a friend or family member.

I just honestly dont know.

Peace
UKMan