Aboot a week ago on the bus home from work I was sat there listening to some dank podcasts when all of a sudden, with fuck all warning I felt like I was going to die!1 my arms, legs and face started tingling and I felt like I needed to shit my pants and throw up and I couldn't breath too good so I got up and said to the driver pull over you cunt I'm dying ffs!! And when he let me off I started to feel fine again, so then I got back on the next bus and it started happening again - took three hours to get home! Then all weekend I was fine.
Then come Monday, on the bus into work it happened again!1 so I went to the doctors to see if I needed a new driver or a firmware update or whatevs and he said I've had panic attacks
he gave me some pills to slow my heart rate and the number for mental health - what a cunt! Didn't even ask if there was a history of heart problems in my family which there is! So I threw his bullshit prescription in the bin and carried on. Then two days later it happened again so I saw a different doc, this one did tests and stuff, blood and piss etc and said you might not be mental I'll let you know in a week when the results come in, here's some diazapam for your troubles Sir. But it's only 5mg pills, I get higher sniffing the receptionists seat at wurk when everyone's left for the day
And on Saturday just gone I was meant to go to this sick as hell comiccon which cost me £100 squids to meet famous 90s nobodies - I didn't even make it past the queue to get in! I had to go to A&e and when I got there I was shaking so much I couldn't hold the pen to fill out the forms and was convinced I was going to die this time for reals. A doc saw me right away, did a BP test, blood sugar etc then she said ok if you can just pop your trousers off, lay down for me and tuck your knees into your chin I just need to check your back passage... I said uwotm8? She said she needed to make sure I was normal back there so I said FINE!! HAVE AT IT YOU QUEERS I CAN TAKE IT!!!!
Then once I'd calmed the fuck down she said it's toats panic attacks, took some blood and next week I find out if it's something like thyroid or just straight up mental problems
Bookmarks