"When I woke up this morning"
"I was late for work and my dog was dead"
"so i put on my jacket and brushed the hair on my head....
"and then made my bed"
though i ' d rather go back to bed
to be the one lying next to you
and when i'm done with you, you will say mooooo!!!!
Then i will go to the looooo
ooooooooooooo i need u
to wipe clean my poooo
oooooo yes i do
ooo ooer
"I aint sorry for the way i feel"
Cos you are fake and i am real!!
or at least i think im real... i coul be wrong
but, hey, who cares, it's Jonno's Song!!
ayes been creosotin nanas colostomy bag
i ate the contents because im sad
ill always laugh, cos my goldfish had sank
and because im so rich ill be laughing all the way to the bank
the sperm bank that is, but i'll get nowt off it, cos i was caught eating the profits.
and then when im finished ill be back at five thirty
and after my cuppa, ill take of ma jersey
you'll see me there with ma top off
looking quite old, stiff nipples, it must be cold.
then together we can untangle me clinctures.
but frankly i dont care when i see that sight of you
because thats what keeps me going... ooooo i love you
(chorus)
Nikki, Nikki, when i think about you my peen gets sticky
i wanna come to canada and see you
oh my nikki.
(chorus end)
this final verse is only for you Nikki
and when im finished, im expecting it not to be shitty
"although if it is I'll expect all your pity"
For living in this dirty city
UKF Radio
10:30am GMT onwards
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