Brush Your Teeth with Beer

**100%** · 11-20-2004, 12:57 PM

And
a few other things you can do with beer
(this post is dedicated to the diehard drinkers)
[/b]IF THE PICTURES DON*T LOAD GO TO SITE

THIS POST WAS POSTED YESTERDAY BY JPAUL BUT I DIDNT NOTICE
SO MY DEEPEST APOLOGIEZE FOR THIS DIRECT PLAGRIATIC REPOST

http://www.livejournal.com/users/keefybabe/68150.html

Beer to replace water...
Lets start at the very beginning.

I decided that for my birthday this year I would replace water with beer. So I made preparations.. Made sure I had a shower the night before (as I didn't want to shower in beer) and bought the required tools (beer) and didn't drink the night before (so I couldn't go "I can't be arsed, I'm hungover")

Weapon of choice: Carling

Experiment I: Brushing teeth
I must admit it was a weird experience getting up at 7am and cracking a can of beer open. I've had beer from 7AM at the other end after staying up all night, but not from this end when I'm off to work in an hour and a half.

So I poured beer on my toothbrush

and started brushing... To be honest it didn't make much difference, the minty flavour of the toothpaste was powerful enough to remove any flavour of beer and there we go.

However, there is one more thing you do with water when brushing your teeth. Yep.. rinse your mouth out, so up with the carling it was..

To be honest I was expecting to want to gip one hell of a lot more than I did. I in fact didn't gip at all.

Verdict: You can indeed brush your teeth with beer without wanting to be sick. I'm sure it's not great for your breath though.

Experiment II: Vitamin drink

Every morning I wake up and have a vitamin drink. It works a lot better than coffee for me and I'm ready to start the day. Under normal circumstances this would involve dropping an effervescent orange flavoured pill into a glass of water to create a fairly pleasing orange drink. But today I am not allowed water, so it's carling.

After I put the pill in chemistry started to do it's work and I ended up with a glass of mostly head, but I said I was going to do it so I drank it anyway

Urgh! It was nasty. The foam was OK, it had an orange tinge to it and wasn't horrible at all but when I got down to the 1" of beer.. Oh god.. it was something else.. Agh! Especially as half of the pill hadn't dissolved and I had to crunch it down while drinking the vile mess...

Verdict: Do not try this at home!!

So I went to work, as you do and refused all coffees etc. By some bizzarre twist of fate I started to get a super-uber cold which meant I had to go home early. It was a good job as I was dying for a cup of coffee.[b]

Experiment III: Coffee

So I filled the kettle up as normal except with a can of carling..

Then I proceeded to boil the kettle. Of course the thing is that I've never attepted to boil lager before so my first attempt was... shall we say a little shoddy..

But you can't be an expert at everything, so I learned the procedure, wait.... watch it rise... OFF! Until you were confident that the kettle was boiled...

All good...

Now it's time for coffee

**100%** · 11-20-2004, 12:58 PM

I decided to try it black first because people had suggested that the milk might curdle. So I gave it a little go...

Uurgh...

Harsh, nasty, just all round bad... I thought I'd stick some milk and sugar in anyway so I'd at least tried it. I mixed it all in and was surprised to find that the milk didn't curdle and that the colour was.... well... not unlike coffee really. See?

So it's time to try it..

What is it actually like?

*ting*

Not bad, it kind of has a liqueur coffee taste to it, due to the alcohol and the sugar takes off the nasty beer edge... a resounding success.

Verdict: Very good. Black coffee awful, but with milk and sugar an inexpensive liqueur coffee!

Spurred on by this it wasn't long before I decide to try my final experiment... The pot noodle.

Experiment IV: The Pot Noodle

Well, trying to treat beer just as I would water I wandered down some 30 minutes after having my coffee and looked in the kettle... Oh not enough water... Oh well, top it up with a fresh can..

While I had one eye on the kettle doing the On/Off thing I made my choice of Pot Noodle. After much deliberation I decided on the "Bombay Bad Boy"

Simply because this is a curry based pot noodle and curry and beer go so well together it might just work..

The kettle boiled and it was time for the noodle to be filled..

It looked like it wasn't congealing in the normal way, so I left it for longer than usual and eventually admitted to myself that while it was more watery than usual and stunk to high heaven, it was time to just put the hot sauce in..

Ok... Time to try it..

At first it seemed a little tart, it had a different taste, but after a while I came to the conclusion that it was....

BOLLOCKS!

Verdict: Bollocks. You're fucking right! This is bollocks...

**manker** · 11-20-2004, 02:22 PM

Sorry, Zed, I glaged at this yesterday when JP posted it. Also I hadn't seen this thread before I posted in t'other thread :blush:

**100%** · 11-20-2004, 02:23 PM

I must have amnesia

but isnt repetition good?

**Lilmiss** · 11-20-2004, 02:26 PM

This thread has been :rawk: certified.

Well done you!

**TheDave** · 11-20-2004, 02:27 PM

Originally Posted by 15%

I must have amnesia

but isnt repetition good?

what if you break your leg?

**manker** · 11-20-2004, 02:29 PM

Indeed it is, but you missed my favourite part. Keef said in his conclusion that beer is okay for cleaning your teeth and for coffee but it fucks up vitamin trablets and Pot Noodles royally.