Should Children be Hit as a form of Punishment

[Everose]

"By that time your Mother should have "the look" which lets your know that you are about to cross the line." by Hobbes




Yes, I know all about 'the look', which includes how to use it myself. Pretty effective tool.

[Busyman]

I give "the look" now with my girlfriend's 3 year-old.

I'm this stage where she sort undos what I do, so to speak.

I want her to do what I THE FIRST TIME I SAY IT. No discussion, no "one more time".

Her way: Tell the child to do it, tell her again, then...tell her again..and explain why.

My way in the beginning: Tell her to do it, if she doesn't I advise of consequences (like no TV, go to bed early/less playtime, etc.). If she still doesn't do it then it taken away. No more talking of it (crying in the background).
Now,

Tell her to do it, if she doesn't do it, immediate consequences. I sometimes give a little in certain cases.

Example: 3 year-old is eating dinner, mom is now out of the kitchen, it's late (8:30pm ), she's lollygagging (basically eating wayyy too long)

She still has lots of food on her plate so advise her to finish eating and stop horsin' around. She says, "Mommy said I don't have to eat this". (pot roast)

I say, "Fine, finish your carrots."

She then starts whining that she doesn't want the carrots. I immediately send her to bed (with lots of crying to mommy).

Next time, she finishes her food with only one, "I don't want string beans" comment.

I said, "Eat it, it's good for you."...and that was that.

Mind you, I have watched this tug-o-war with my girlfriend and 3 year-old for awhile and I reeeeally don't get the illogical way many mothers handle their children.

I get that parents want their children to love them and everything but appeasing them in the face of keeping them happy ain't the answer all the time.

I have played Dad a few times and it takes no time to gain control just with simple things.

I've tapped the 3 year-old on the bottom a few times but ultimately it's the way I look and talk to her in certain situations that warrants the "OHSHIT I BETTER DO WHAT THE HELL I'M SUPPOSED TO DO!!! "...reaction.

You can do everything "right" and your child still can turn out to be a demon seed.

However, there are tons of illogical actions of parents that will help insure the child end up a little red, pitchfork toting fucker....which in turn grows up to be.................

[Everose]

You would make a good Daddy, Busyman. That little girl is lucky. And you are lucky to be able to make a difference in her life. Just keep your sense of humor and she will benefit greatly from having you in her life.

So just how did you snag her mother with the 'active' schedule you keep?

[Busyman]

You would make a good Daddy, Busyman. That little girl is lucky. And you are lucky to be able to make a difference in her life. Just keep your sense of humor and she will benefit greatly from having you in her life.

So just how did you snag her mother with the 'active' schedule you keep?

She works for Verizon too. I knew her when I worked in Virginia about 6 years ago.

I saw her early last year in the parking lot of Wal-Mart and we exchanged numbers (but I never called her).

I then saw her months later in the parking lot of 7-Eleven (she was bending over actually ).

We exchanged numbers again and actually went on a date...the rest is history. She's very unique in that she's the most easy going woman I have been with.

I smack her around and she does what I ask.
She doesn't give me back talk or try to hit back or anything and even.

[Everose]

I smack her around and she does what I ask.
She doesn't give me back talk or try to hit back or anything and even. [/QUOTE]



Oh sure. Like I believe that. She probably has such control over you you are a wimp now. Congratulations!!!! I am happy for you. You play nice.....

[Busyman]

I smack her around and she does what I ask.
She doesn't give me back talk or try to hit back or anything and even.

Oh sure. Like I believe that. She probably has such control over you you are a wimp now. Congratulations!!!! I am happy for you. You play nice.....

I still stay logical but I do defer to her. She's just such a good person that I couldn't treat her bad..when I say her I mean that BITCH.
I hope she never reads this.

[dwightfry]

I've been spanked a couple times when I was very young, and I generally stayed out of trouble after that. I think it's a very effective tool if it's used correctly. If you resort to spanking everytime, like any punishment, it will become less and less effective. If you change the punishment everytime they won't know what to expect. My theory is that just being unsure will be enough to keep them out of trouble.

It seems like kids start getting into trouble when they learn how to control there parents.