listening in

[ziggyjuarez]

You are correct about them being young adults, but what you seem to forget, age doesn't factor in maturity or experience. How can you expect someone with hardly any real life experience to always make the proper decisions. And don't talk about them having real life experiences if they are still living at home under mommy and daddies wing.

About being an "uncool" parent. The parents are there to be parents, not the kids friend. After the kid is out on his/her own, and the parents are through raising them, then they can be friends, but until then, they have to be parents.

It was a joke i know a parent is not a friend

[Smith]

Firstly are you really 15 ?

If so perhaps you could ask yourself the same question when you are the parent

Nobody is advocating listening in on EVERY converstaion, however if the parent feels that something is wrong then i believe they have the right and indeed the duty to do whatever it takes..including secretly listening to phone calls. It would have to be secretly or there is no point in doing it.

As NikkiD pointed out...WE PAY THE BILL. plus being a good parent doesn't always mean being popular

i can see where your comming from, and my mum was like that for a while, snooping in on everything, searching my room while i was at school. your concerned about your kids.

but robery is one thing.

constantly doing this is really annoying, making it a law is a little far, but giving you kids some space is a must .

[vidcc]

As you say, we don't have the whole story.

Yet almost everyone here seems to have assumed that he is guilty. Why? The law certainly hasn't assumed that because he is going to get a new trial.

who apart from you and i who had actually said anything about the case directly?. i only did in response to your post and i made no mention of guilt. All i touched on was why she would have been permitted in court as a witness. It's a state law not a federal law so if it was a different state he would not be getting a retrial on this technicality.

That said the thread is about the rights of kids privacy over the parents rights of knowledge of what their kids are up to, the story is a lead into that.

[Rat Faced]

What about adults?

I notice a few are listening in to this at the moment but not commenting... (although they did earlier)




Isnt that right ruthie?


My view is: They have privacy until such time they or someone else gives me cause to take this away. If its something minor, then i wouldnt spy on them... just something major.

[NikkiD]

i can see where your comming from, and my mum was like that for a while, snooping in on everything, searching my room while i was at school. your concerned about your kids.

but robery is one thing.

constantly doing this is really annoying, making it a law is a little far, but giving you kids some space is a must .

I completely agree - you have to give your kids space. But (and this is a big but) you also have to know what your kids are doing. If you have a good relationship with your kids, then snooping on them isn't necessary, because they'll talk to you when something is up in their lives. This isn't always the case, there are times kids feel their parents just won't understand or that their parents would freak out if they knew what was going on. To an extent this is probably true, they might not, but not for the same reasons a kid would think. Most parents freak out about things because they're concerned about their children's safety.

I'll give an example. Skip ahead a few years (hopefully) and my son comes home one night, at 3 am, completely drunk. The next morning, I lay in to him for being irresponsible. Am I doing it because he's too young to drink? No, not really. Am I doing it because I don't want him to have fun? Again, no. I'm doing it because I want him to understand that if he's going to drink like that he better have had a designated driver or called for a ride home. I want him to understand that when he drinks, his judgement is impaired, and he might do something really dumb, so my knowing where he's gone is important, in case he decides to do something like jump off a roof into a pool and breaks his leg. Stuff like that.

As long my kids are talking to me, I don't think I have a need to go rifling through their things, or eavesdropping on their phone conversations. If their behaviour changes to make me suspect that something is going that I should be concerned about, my first avenue will always be talking to my kids. If all else fails, who knows. It might be a route I would take. It's not about spying, it's about worrying.

[Mathea]

I'll give an example. Skip ahead a few years (hopefully) and my son comes home one night, at 3 am, completely drunk. The next morning, I lay in to him for being irresponsible. Am I doing it because he's too young to drink? No, not really. Am I doing it because I don't want him to have fun? Again, no. I'm doing it because I want him to understand that if he's going to drink like that he better have had a designated driver or called for a ride home. I want him to understand that when he drinks, his judgement is impaired, and he might do something really dumb, so my knowing where he's gone is important, in case he decides to do something like jump off a roof into a pool and breaks his leg. Stuff like that.

I think this is excellent. Its a fine line that isnt easily defined. I think that if a parent is going to snoop or w/e, they had really have good reasoning, bc otherwise it will lessen the trust (and sometimes respect) the child has for them.

[Rat Faced]

[Samurai]

I feel this is laughable.

This kid was a minor, as was this woman's daughter.

As far as I'm concerned, as long as my child is under the age of 18, lives in my house, and uses the phone I pay for, I'm entitled to listen to any conversation I want to. If my kids want privacy on the phone, they can pay for their own phone lines. Not only that, but it's my legal responsibility to know what my kids are doing at all times, until they reach the age of 18.

I'm not saying that I would listen in on phone conversations, under normal circumstances I wouldn't, just as I wouldn't go through my child's room under normal circumstances. If I suspected that they were involved in something they shouldn't be, that might change. And law or no law, I'm going to do it.

Excellent post. I totally agree.

[ruthie]

agree. Parents don't snoop because they are bored. usually, there is enough worry and concern about your child's well-being, and you know something is "up", and what's up isn't good.

[Mathea]

agree. Parents don't snoop because they are bored. usually, there is enough worry and concern about your child's well-being, and you know something is "up", and what's up isn't good.

yeah but on the other hand, some parents can be too overprotective and/or think they ought to be involved in everything.... and sometimes the pushing for information makes the kid want to keep things secret just for the sake of NOT wanting to give in to the push to share. (did that make sense?) what I mean is, sometimes parents don't think there are boundaries to what they should be privy to, and the child takes it as an invasion of privacy. (And therefore tries to safeguard even innocent things just to "stand up" for the boundaries they think are fair)