a bit of a laugh pt 2

[ziggyjuarez]

i started part 2 because i thought that there were too many pages to go through if anybody just started to read them .

True main reason i dint read the last one

[ziggyjuarez]

Bill Clinton is sitting next to a White House
intern one day at a gathering. The President says
to her, "Would you like to come to the Oval office
and see my clock?"

She says, "No, Mr. President, I don't think so."

The President replies, "Please. I'd really like to
show it to you."

"No, Mr. President, I really can't."

"Come on. Come and see my clock. It'll only take a
minute."

"All right. If it won't take long."

They go to the Oval Office. The President sits
down, unzips his pants, and pulls out his dick.

The intern says, "That's not a clock, it's a cock"

To which the President says, "If you put two hands
and a face on it, it's a clock sweetheart."

Great one

[baccyman]

Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!



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Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40.
He says to the driver, "Got any ID?"

The driver says, "Bout what?"



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Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
(It took her a month to realize she could play it in the afternoon.)



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What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
(They drowned during Spring Training.)



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[baccyman]

What’s the difference between a blonde and a
brick?

The brick only gets laid once.

[cpt_azad]

[baccyman]

I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.
---Marcus Brigstocke



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Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness," her mother explained. "And today is the happiest day in her life." The child thought about this for a moment.

"So why is the groom wearing black?"



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A little boy and girl go trick or treating. They knock on the door of this house and the man who answers it says, "Well, you two are awfully cute. Who are you supposed to be?" "We're Jack and Jill" she replied. The man says, "You can't be Jack and Jill, you're black!" So, they go off and a while later they come back dressed differently. They ring the doorbell and once again and the man opens the door. "Well now, that is just darn cute. Who are you this time?" "We're Hansel and Gretel" says the little boy. "Well, I hate to disappoint you son, but you can't be Hansel and Gretel because you're black!" Heads hung low, they leave. Not too much later the man hears the bell ring again. This time when he opens the door there stand the two children but this time they are BUCK NAKED. "Oh my! And just who are you supposed to be now?!" he asks. "We're M & M's, " said the little girl. "I'm plain. He's got nuts.

[baccyman]

[thecreator89]

haha

[cpt_azad]

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness," her mother explained. "And today is the happiest day in her life." The child thought about this for a moment.

"So why is the groom wearing black?"

best one yet baccy

[baccyman]

An elderly couple was sitting on there rocking chairs rocking back and forth. When the woman whacked her husband as hard as she could right off his chair. Surprised and disorientated he said: "now why did you do that?" and she replied: "That is for 50 years of horrible sex". So he sits back down and thinks about it for a while, and pretty soon you hear another whack, this time the wife falls off the chair and soon, gets back up and says "what was that for?” He replied, "that is for knowing the difference."


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This guy wants to be a proctologist, and he wants to be a really good proctologist, so he decides to go down to the morgue after class and practice a little. Well, he uncovers the first guy and there is a cork in his butt! He thinks it's a little strange, so he pulls it out and music starts playing!
"...On the road again, just can't wait to get on the road again..."
The guy really freaks out! He runs and gets the doctor and drags the poor guy back to the table. "Look!" he says, and pulls the cork out again, ". .
. On the road again . . ."

The doctor is totally unimpressed... "So what?" he says.

"Isn't that the most amazing thing you've ever seen?" the guy asked.

"Are you kidding?" says the doctor "Any asshole can sing country music!"