Correcting a parent reguarding their own child

[Jon L. Obscene]

At 4y/o I would'nt think she understands much about traffic or junctions.

And I'm sorry but I think she realised the severity of the situation, imagine being that small and looking at the front of my bike within arms reach coming at you, headlight on and getting dark.

No need for him to do what he did. Scared or not his first priority should have been to make sure his daughter was ok, not shout at her like that and upset her more.

Jonno

[NikkiD]

At 4y/o I would'nt think she understands much about traffic or junctions.

And I'm sorry but I think she realised the severity of the situation, imagine being that small and looking at the front of my bike within arms reach coming at you, headlight on and getting dark.

No need for him to do what he did. Scared or not his first priority should have been to make sure his daughter was ok, not shout at her like that and upset her more.

Jonno

No, a 4 year old doesn't. Hence the reason you have to make her aware of the danger of the situation. If you have to yell to get her full attention, so be it. It also depends on the child - some kids listen without being yelled at, some kids don't - only their parents would know that. With my cousin, yelling doesn't get his attention, you literally have to turn him to face you and make sure he's looking you in the eye before you know he's hearing you. Every kid is different.

Most 4 year olds don't understand death or being severely hurt so I don't know that they would put two and two together that the car/bike coming towards them could kill them. Yes, it would probably scare them, but no, I don't think they would understand the severity of the situation. If she did she wouldn't have stepped off the curb in the first place.

[Virtualbody1234]

At 4y/o I would'nt think she understands much about traffic or junctions.

At 4 yrs old they can learn not to run into the road.

[sArA]

No, a 4 year old doesn't. Hence the reason you have to make her aware of the danger of the situation. If you have to yell to get her full attention, so be it. It also depends on the child - some kids listen without being yelled at, some kids don't - only their parents would know that. With my cousin, even yelling doesn't get his attention, you literally have to turn him to face you and make sure he's looking you in the eye before you know he's hearing you.

Most 4 year olds don't understand death or being severely hurt so I don't know that they would put two and two together that the car/bike coming towards them could kill them. Yes, it would probably scare them, but no, I don't think they would understand the severity of the situation. If she did she wouldn't have stepped off the curb in the first place.

Yep.

[Jon L. Obscene]

I can understand what you're saying, I'm nt gonna argue cos I have no kids therefore no right to argue, but I still dissagree with the way he handled it.

So apart from a couple, anyone else wanna answer my original question?

Is what I done wrong? did I butt in?

As the title suggests this is something I've thought about many times.

Jonno

[Santa]

interesting read - in 4 years time i will be able reply to this thread...

[sArA]

I understand that the guy's tone was very harsh and I am making no excuses for his behaviour. However, I agree with much of what Nikki and others have said, and I am of the opinion that If the guy didn't hit her, then you should have kept quiet.

You undermined his authority as a parent, and made him look small to his child...not cool. By doing that it made him angrier and more upset.

Not all parents who shout at their kids are bad parents. In fact, I think a bad parent is one who always says there there, never gets cross, or upset or downright bloody furious. We are human not vulcan.

You could have had no idea how the child had behaved earlier. Kids can be little shits at all ages and there are far worse things than being yelled at when in a potentially life threatening situation.

[Jon L. Obscene]

Fair comment, good point well made.

I shall refrain from shouting at people who piss me off in future, should really stop doing that anyway, will probably get stabbed one day....did'nt think about the undermining him, did'nt mean to do that, he pissed me off, I reacted. I was still shaking at this point so probably did'nt take much to trigger me off.

Jonno

[Busyman]

I know this is a funny kinda subject, but earlier on my way thru town I turned a corner into another street, lots of people about but out from this guy ran a little girl (approx 4y/o) I mean litterally a foot from her when I stopped (talk about heart stopper), trouble is as I breaked and stopped I was on a lean for the corner so nearly came off anyway
Anyway, I said sorry to the little girl and her parents and asked if she was ok, she nodded, all cool no one hurt....as I started to pull away I heard the father growel (best way to describe it) really loudly and angruly at the little girl.
Now ok I know he was in shock to some degree but the little girl then started crying, she WAS ok ffs, so I stopped and shouted "ease up man there's no need, no one hurt, you ain't gotta upset her more" to which he replied "Don't fucking tell me how to raise my kids" wtf is that all about? I rode off at that point cos I'm not gonna add to the situation more, what a wanker tho.

Thing is, is what I done wrong? did I butt in?, spose I should have kept quiet really.
It's always puzzled me that people see someone kick or hit a dog and they step in and say something, people see someone whack a kid and everyone turns a blind eye (these both obviously do have exceptions)

I just think thats shit thats all and thought I'd share.

Jonno

After you made sure the child was ok, your job was done. Other than that, at that point, you should've minded your own business....unless he was physically hurting her.

He's a dipshit for not holding her hand...tightly.

Tbh, in that situation, if the thought of almost getting hit by a car didn't scare the shit out of my 4 year-old then I'd light into her too. It actually depends on her reaction.

I don't fuck around regarding child safety. It could mean the difference between having a child and not having one so if her feelings get hurt, good, 'cause they should be.

I would probably raise my voice and smack her hand...so it really stings.
She's only 4. It's not like I need a big ass paddle.

In the future try to mind your business. You did not do the right thing entirely.

[Gemby!]

im afraid i agree with the father - if you dont let the kid know how serious that could've been then they are just gonna be feckless again dam kids

and you should know never to mention to a parent ANYTHING that might be classed as giving parenting tips. its just a golden rule.....unless its family, then you can put it in a nicer way.