As hard as it may be to believe, but even the sheer screen presence and unhinged groinal area of Mr. Damme could not right the ship on this massive floater.
The most offensive thing about this (besides the script) is that if you do not like the movie, it must be that you are just a fanatical Bible-thumping purist. Not true. This is just insultingly bad. The CGI creatures weren't even the root of all evil, as Keanu's recent 47 Ronin, with all of its unnecessary add-ins, bests it 10-fold. As weak as 47's story was, it had lots more going for it than Noah.
I even like most of the actors in Noah- they were the bigger draw to the show than the story. Who really gives two squirts about Noah's story, anyway? The acting was fine, TBH. Although it would not have mattered since the characters were all one-dimensional. Shit actors would not have hurt this. The problem exists from lack of interesting storytelling- not the fact that there were silly CGI characters, or that it strayed from the Bible.
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