How To Get To Heaven When You Die

[xfrodobagginsx]

heaven is invite only ?

We've ALL been invited PERSONALLY by God Himself. All we have to do is accept the invitation by accepting the Savior whom He sent for us (Jesus Christ) as our Lord and Savior.

[Sextent]

heaven is invite only ?

We've ALL been invited PERSONALLY by God Himself. All we have to do is accept the invitation by accepting the Savior whom He sent for us (Jesus Christ) as our Lord and Savior.

You do know that "Saviour" is incorrectly spelt in your post.

[Sextent]

And also that I split an infinitive in that one.

[Sextent]

And that my last one was my number 3333

[enoughfakefiles]

Does anyone have any trades :unsure:

[Sextent]

/banned

[enoughfakefiles]

/banned

:O

I just want the green thingies in my profile :j2smillie:

[Sextent]

/banned

:O

I just want the green thingies in my profile :j2smillie:

:sick:

[Broken]

Hitler walks up to the Pearly Gates and says to St Peter, "I'd like to come in."

St Peter: "Not likely!"

Hitler: I've repented and I've given back all the gold and treasures that I stole from the Jews, and I'm really sorry."

At that point, Jesus walks up and asks what's going on. St Peter: "It's Hitler here, he wants to come in."

Jesus: "Bugger off!"

Hitler: "No, it's true! To prove it, I've got a six foot solid gold cross I can't find the owner of. I could give that to you."

Now Jesus was partial to crosses, so he went to see God. Jesus: "Hey Dad, I've got Hitler outside and he wants to come in now he's repented."

God: "Tell him to get lost!"

Jesus: "But Dad, he's given back all the gold that he stole from the Jews - except for a six foot, solid gold cross he can't find the owner for. He says I can have it."

God: "And what do you want with a solid gold cross? You couldn't even carry a fuckin' wooden one!"

[Snee]

heaven is invite only ?

We've ALL been invited PERSONALLY by God Himself. All we have to do is accept the invitation by accepting the Savior whom He sent for us (Jesus Christ) as our Lord and Savior.

You're high, aren't you?

[bigboab]

We've ALL been invited PERSONALLY by God Himself. All we have to do is accept the invitation by accepting the Savior whom He sent for us (Jesus Christ) as our Lord and Savior.

You're high, aren't you?
He will be once they get that cross up.:lol:

[FatBob]

heaven is invite only ?

We've ALL been invited PERSONALLY by God Himself. All we have to do is accept the invitation by accepting the Savior whom He sent for us (Jesus Christ) as our Lord and Savior.

so does my god has a name ? :unsure:

what do i call him ?

[FatBob]

and is it true that god hates fat people ?

[Broken]

yes he does, and retarded people are going to hell also. because they can't confess their sins.

http://a1259.g.akamai.net/f/1259/5586/5d/images.art.com/images/-/South-Park--C10054740.jpeg

[FatBob]

oh poor timmy . :(

so what happens to the animals when they all die ?

snakes are reborn as stupid satans ?

[Broken]

Animals don't have souls, so they don't go to heaven or hell.
That's why it's ok to kill them for fun and food. That's why god put them here.


http://blog.peta.org/archives/Soul_Kitty.jpg




=


http://www.kitchenkickn.com/images/steak.jpg

[FatBob]

i wish we never evovled from monkeys

[Sextent]

i wish we never evovled from monkeys

:rod:

[chalice]

i wish we never evovled from monkeys

Thank Jehovah for the royal we.

[FatBob]

god is a bad programmer

[FatBob]

or maybe we are A.I gone bad ?

[Sextent]

I blame Deep Thought.

[chalice]

Checkmate.

Or was that Deep Blue.

[Biggles]

heaven is invite only ?

We've ALL been invited PERSONALLY by God Himself. All we have to do is accept the invitation by accepting the Savior whom He sent for us (Jesus Christ) as our Lord and Savior.

An invite to what? ... and doesn't an invite simply require a yes or no thanks? One suspects that yes thanks here has a lot of follow up "dos and don'ts". Nothing is ever easy :)

[Broken]

Ah, I see.
Getting into heaven is like getting an invite to a torrent-site.

Think I'll pass....

[Biggles]

Ah, I see.
Getting into heaven is like getting an invite to a torrent-site.

Think I'll pass....

Now you come to mention it :shifty:

[Something Else]

OFFERING: 1 x heaven invite....

Please PM offers.

[Sextent]

OFFERING: 1 x heaven invite....

Please PM offers.

You know too much about how the cawks do business.

Way too much.

[Snee]

You recognise that he does too well. Too well indeed.

[Sextent]

You could see that I was right about him knowing too much. Way too much see.

[Snee]

When will this vicious cricle of recrimination end? :no:

Damn you, allen :fist:

[Sextent]

When you uncuntify.

[Snee]

Damn you, allen :fist:

[Biggles]

When you uncuntify.

Is that not like asking Abba to reform?

[Sextent]

When you uncuntify.

Is that not like asking Abba to reform?

Yes.

[Sextent]

It's not.

[Sextent]

Like.

[Snee]

What's a cricle anyways? :unsure:

[Sextent]

http://www.screenindia.com/fullstory.php?content_id=18360

[Snee]

Indians are fooking strange.

[Snee]

Racist.

[Biggles]

Like.


That's a relief - I didn't fancy trying to do that again

[Broken]

I guess the easiest way would be to buy your way in...
No more uncertainties- You're going up! - Reserve your spot with confidence! Tickets to Heaven Just $12.79!!! Limited Space!!!!

(http://reserveaspotinheaven.com/index.htm)

http://reserveaspotinheaven.com/images/flowchart2.jpg

[xfrodobagginsx]

Please take the time to read this first post and pray that prayer to God at the bottom of it if you haven't yet.

[Sextent]

You're not even worth the ignore function. Fan-tastic.

[Broken]

Please take the time to read this first post and pray that prayer to God at the bottom of it if you haven't yet.

http://i18.tinypic.com/8azphmg.jpg

[chalice]

Please take the time to read this first post and pray that prayer to God at the bottom of it if you haven't yet.

http://i18.tinypic.com/8azphmg.jpg

:lol:

It will stop when Frodo dies.

Fact.

There is a team of Dawkinists working on his global location as we speak.

[Biggles]

Please take the time to read this first post and pray that prayer to God at the bottom of it if you haven't yet.

Dull and pointless and dodgy theology to boot. Your mission should you choose to accept it is to say something even halfway convincing.

[Snee]

That would require independent thought, and not being a fucking stupid mental.


Merry christmas, btw, frodo, you mong.


How about you give us the gift of not coming back here?
In return, we'll promise to not believe less than we already do. Right guys?

[Sextent]

I agree to not believe less than I already do.

[Biggles]

A fair proposition I think I could manage that.


Feck! SGG has spilled something sticky on the desk and I have just put my hand on it. I think it is tea - she puts about 15 sugars in her tea :dabs:

[clocker]

Your mission should you choose to accept it is to say something even halfway convincing.
That's the problem with folks who are 100% certain of anything.

Without a smidgen of doubt to fuel the fire, it's tough to muster an argument that isn't fundamentally reducible to "Because I said so".

The poor godhobbit has failed to rise above the level of the morons present at every sporting event who flash a "John 3:16" placard and feel like they've done their bit to covert the masses.

I don't think he's capable of better.

Why doesn't God compel a Jesuit to come and do battle here?
At least he'd be armed with eloquence and wit instead of this braindead pedantry.

Probably provide some good liquor as well.

[bigboab]

Your mission should you choose to accept it is to say something even halfway convincing.
That's the problem with folks who are 100% certain of anything.

Without a smidgen of doubt to fuel the fire, it's tough to muster an argument that isn't fundamentally reducible to "Because I said so".

The poor godhobbit has failed to rise above the level of the morons present at every sporting event who flash a "John 3:16" placard and feel like they've done their bit to covert the masses.

I don't think he's capable of better.

Why doesn't God compel a Jesuit to come and do battle here?
At least he'd be armed with eloquence and wit instead of this braindead pedantry.

Probably provide some good liquor as well.

I did not know that you like the Buckfast Clocker.:)

[clocker]

I attended a party last night that featured a single malt tasting comparison.

I must admit that after the fifth or so sample, they all tasted mighty fine.

Not so big on the Buckfast though (never having tried it before...).

[Sextent]

Your mission should you choose to accept it is to say something even halfway convincing.
That's the problem with folks who are 100% certain of anything.

Without a smidgen of doubt to fuel the fire, it's tough to muster an argument that isn't fundamentally reducible to "Because I said so".

The poor godhobbit has failed to rise above the level of the morons present at every sporting event who flash a "John 3:16" placard and feel like they've done their bit to covert the masses.

I don't think he's capable of better.

Why doesn't God compel a Jesuit to come and do battle here?
At least he'd be armed with eloquence and wit instead of this braindead pedantry.

Probably provide some good liquor as well.

What would you like to know.

I didn't see you posting "covert" btw.

[chalice]

I attended a party last night that featured a single malt tasting comparison.

I must admit that after the fifth or so sample, they all tasted mighty fine.

Not so big on the Buckfast though (never having tried it before...).

Where I live at the moment- Lurgan NI- Buckfast is known as Lurgan Champagne.

It is cheap and nasty as fuck. Nowhere else in NI are they compelled to this Whore's Piss. They sell it in optics at the local bar and everything.

Once, when the beer shops didn't open on a Sunday In NI, you could see a queue outside the Sunday chemist because they sold Buckfast.

It's a tonic wine fermented by Monks in some god-fersakin place.

http://blogs.bootsnall.com/Bucky/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/_42130884_buckfast_close_203.jpg

[Sextent]

I attended a party last night that featured a single malt tasting comparison.

I must admit that after the fifth or so sample, they all tasted mighty fine.

Not so big on the Buckfast though (never having tried it before...).

Where I live at the moment- Lurgan NI- Buckfast is known as Lurgan Champagne.

It is cheap and nasty as fuck. Nowhere else in NI are they compelled to this Whore's Piss. They sell it in optics at the local bar and everything.

Once, when the beer shops didn't open on a Sunday In NI, you could see a queue outside the Sunday chemist because they sold Buckfast.

It's a tonic wine fermented by Monks in some god-fersakin place.

http://blogs.bootsnall.com/Bucky/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/_42130884_buckfast_close_203.jpg

Called Buckfast Abbey

[chalice]

Yep.

Great name for a collection of monks, that.

[Sextent]

How the fuck do they come up with them.

[clocker]

What would you like to know.

Which version of the Bible is a heathen supposed to accept as the word of God?





And, where's the Scotch?

[Sextent]

What would you like to know.

Which version of the Bible is a heathen supposed to accept as the word of God?

And, where's the Scotch?

None, they're Heathens.

I have no idea, I can't stand the stuff.

[chalice]

Agreed.

I can just about stomach the Scots. But the Scotch is filthy.

That's not to say that the Irish is much better, like.

[clocker]

Which version of the Bible is a heathen supposed to accept as the word of God?

And, where's the Scotch?

None, they're Heathens.

I have no idea, I can't stand the stuff.
OK, I'm convinced.

[Sextent]

Gentle proselytizing ftw.

[clocker]

Bagginsboy softened me up first.

[chalice]

Consider yourself groomed for the doomed.

[clocker]

And so I shall.

Merry Christmas anyway.

[chalice]

And so I shall.

Merry Christmas anyway.

And to you and your's Clocker.

And many more.

[xfrodobagginsx]

What would you like to know.

Which version of the Bible is a heathen supposed to accept as the word of God?


The one that most literally translates the original manuscripts. The KJV is the one that is most accepted as the best literal translation. It has been for hundreds of years. The problem is that because the english language has evolved over the last couple of hundred years, it has become more and more difficult to understand, which is why folks are using so many other translations today. The modern king james version is an updated version of the kjv. I use it alot.

Merry Christmas!!!

[FatBob]

Which version of the Bible is a heathen supposed to accept as the word of God?


The one that most literally translates the original manuscripts. The KJV is the one that is most accepted as the best literal translation. It has been for hundreds of years. The problem is that because the english language has evolved over the last couple of hundred years, it has become more and more difficult to understand, which is why folks are using so many other translations today. The modern king james version is an updated version of the kjv. I use it alot.

Merry Christmas!!!

merry xmas .

why is christ called christ ? :wacko:

isnt he Yeshu of Nazareth ?

where did this name jesus christ came from ?

you could have called him timmy

[clocker]

The one that most literally translates the original manuscripts.
Ah, but which original manuscripts?

Aren't there manuscripts which were deleted/not included because they didn't square with the orthodoxy of the day?

Certainly there is no doubt that the church (in all it's many guises) has played fast and loose with history in order to best project whatever image suits best at the time and the Bible itself was not immune to manipulation.

So, why believe in the King James version over the Gnostic Bible, for instance?

[Snee]

frodo fails at reading the bible anyways.

[Sextent]

The one that most literally translates the original manuscripts. The KJV is the one that is most accepted as the best literal translation. It has been for hundreds of years. The problem is that because the english language has evolved over the last couple of hundred years, it has become more and more difficult to understand, which is why folks are using so many other translations today. The modern king james version is an updated version of the kjv. I use it alot.

Merry Christmas!!!

merry xmas .

why is christ called christ ? :wacko:

isnt he Yeshu of Nazareth ?

where did this name jesus christ came from ?

you could have called him timmy




His Given name was Jesus and Christ means Messiah.

So he was Jesus, The Messiah.

[Biggles]

merry xmas .

why is christ called christ ? :wacko:

isnt he Yeshu of Nazareth ?

where did this name jesus christ came from ?

you could have called him timmy




His Given name was Jesus and Christ means Messiah.

So he was Jesus, The Messiah.

Yeshu was a fairly popular name - it could just as easily have been Timmy the Messiah

[tralalala]

What happens if one is Jew and wants to go to heaven? :blink:

[tralalala]

@Biggles: Or Brian as far as the Flying Circus of Monty Python thought.. :lol:

[Sextent]

His Given name was Jesus and Christ means Messiah.

So he was Jesus, The Messiah.

Yeshu was a fairly popular name - it could just as easily have been Timmy the Messiah

Really matters not one jot. We're called Christians not Tims.

Well some of us are both, obviousement.

[Biggles]

What happens if one is Jew and wants to go to heaven? :blink:


Hey you guys invented this one so I reckon you must have first dibs on it.

[Biggles]

Yeshu was a fairly popular name - it could just as easily have been Timmy the Messiah

Really matters not one jot. We're called Christians not Tims.

Well some of us are both, obviousement.

:shifty: thought never crossed my mind.

[tralalala]

Invented what? Jeebus was the one who walked on water (shallow water) and parted a fish between 5 thousand people (a whale obviously).

How do I, a Jew, get to heaven?! :huh:

[Sextent]

What happens if one is Jew and wants to go to heaven? :blink:

Piece of cake, convert to the one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church.

[Sextent]

... parted a fish between 5 thousand people (a whale obviously).


:noes:

[Snee]

Invented what? Jeebus was the one who walked on water (shallow water) and parted a fish between 5 thousand people (a whale obviously).

How do I, a Jew, get to heaven?! :huh:

I imagine religious people on both sides of the fence (jews/christians) have fairly similar views of the other lots' chances of salvation.

Just look to your own, yeah?

[tralalala]

What happens if one is Jew and wants to go to heaven? :blink:

Piece of cake, convert to the one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church.

Why? The guy you believe did all those thingies and told all those tales and stories (I'm going according to Billy Connoly's Crucifixion sketch) - Was jew himself.. Why not follow him all the way and becometh a Jeweth as welleth? Obviously he was doin something right getting a billion people to be loik him.

[Biggles]

Invented what? Jeebus was the one who walked on water (shallow water) and parted a fish between 5 thousand people (a whale obviously).

How do I, a Jew, get to heaven?! :huh:

As far as I can see the original Jeebus was Jewish and spoke only to Jews - it kind of got out of hand after his death. So he must have been talking about a Jewish heaven. We only get in on default. I think he compared us to dogs getting scraps at the master's table as I recollect. :fst: *random smilie usage - never seen this one before*. So I reckon you have first shout although frodosexytime will no doubt tell us there are conditions and small print. :ermm:

[Snee]

Piece of cake, convert to the one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church.

Why? The guy you believe did all those thingies and told all those tales and stories (I'm going according to Billy Connoly's Crucifixion sketch) - Was jew himself.. Why not follow him all the way and becometh a Jeweth as welleth? Obviously he was doin something right getting a billion people to be loik him.
You don' really have a very firm grasp of what christianity entails, do you?

[FatBob]

merry xmas .

why is christ called christ ? :wacko:

isnt he Yeshu of Nazareth ?

where did this name jesus christ came from ?

you could have called him timmy




His Given name was Jesus and Christ means Messiah.

So he was Jesus, The Messiah.





His Given name was Jesus and Christ means Messiah.

So he was Jesus, The Messiah.

Yeshu was a fairly popular name - it could just as easily have been Timmy the Messiah

oh ok . :happy:

[FatBob]

Invented what? Jeebus was the one who walked on water (shallow water) and parted a fish between 5 thousand people (a whale obviously).

How do I, a Jew, get to heaven?! :huh:

jesus(jesus'ses) dad makes all the decisions , and he is jew :mellow:

[FatBob]

why doesnt timmies talk about jesuses dad ?

no dad = no son you know

[Sextent]

Of course Christians talk about Jesus' Dad as well, he's God like. Kind of pops up the odd time.

[FatBob]

Of course Christians talk about Jesus' Dad as well, he's God like. Kind of pops up the odd time.

so they have 2 gods ?
awesome .

and whats he called ? yeehaa ?

[Sextent]

Of course Christians talk about Jesus' Dad as well, he's God like. Kind of pops up the odd time.

so they have 2 gods ?
awesome .

and whats he called ? yeehaa ?

Who has 2 Gods. :blink:

[FatBob]

so they have 2 gods ?
awesome .

and whats he called ? yeehaa ?

Who has 2 Gods. :blink:

xtians !

jesus god and dad god :huh:

[Biggles]

Arthur "2Gods" Jackson?

[Sextent]

Who has 2 Gods. :blink:

xtians !

jesus god and dad god :huh:

Oh ffs, you can do better than that.

[FatBob]

xtians !

jesus god and dad god :huh:

Oh ffs, you can do better than that.

so jesus isnt really god ? :wacko:

[chalice]

Oh ffs, you can do better than that.

so jesus isnt really god ? :wacko:

It's a 3 for 1 deal.

Poor Holy Spirit gets left out all the time.

He's the coolest one, imo.

[Snee]

xtians !

jesus god and dad god :huh:

Oh ffs, you can do better than that.

No. I don't think she can.

[Sextent]

so jesus isnt really god ? :wacko:

It's a 3 for 1 deal.

Poor Holy Spirit gets left out all the time.

He's the coolest one, imo.

You play with him if you want, I cant be arsed with people trolling tonight.

Watching t'arras having a beer.

Going to watch Extras as well like.

[Sextent]

Oh ffs, you can do better than that.

No. I don't think she can.

Oh she can, no doubt about that.

[chalice]

Right so.

Is it a new Extras?

[Sextent]

The feature length special.

[Sextent]

He's doing that rather than a two part finalé this time.

[chalice]

That'll do then.

I'm doing what you're doing.

[Sextent]

It's three in one fun.

t'arras on Virgin, Extras on Freeview, tempting Apple in me.

[chalice]

It's three in one fun.

t'arras on Virgin, Extras on Freeview, tempting Apple in me.

:lol:

What time's Extras on at like?

[Sextent]

21:00

It's on BBC NI.

[chalice]

Excellent. Cheers.

I bid you a good night's viewing then and we shall adjourn on the Morrow.

[Sextent]

And to your good self.

I shall probly be posting here as well.

That would have spoiled the triumvirate motif tho'

[Alien5]

did anyone Get To Heaven then? :unsure:

[CrabGirl]

The extra's special made me cry.

[Sextent]

did anyone Get To Heaven then? :unsure:


Nah, it was more about his character re-finding his true self.

[FatBob]

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2313/2142190611_ec816a89b0_o.jpg

[xfrodobagginsx]

????

[weenden]

you go to the top of the steps and hope the doors unlocked if it is woo hoo if its not its gonna be warm some may say hot so bring shorts

[xfrodobagginsx]

????

[SAM]

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"?

Gandalf, I think.

:lol:

[Snee]

????

Die.

[SAM]

Who has 2 Gods. :blink:

xtians !

jesus god and dad god :huh:

:cry:

@thread poster

i know you try to give us an advice and show us the right way in your opinion
but i think this isn't the right forum for that .
you can try the drawing room if you want an intellectual discussion
here , is just for fun :)

[TankGrrl]

http://i8.tinypic.com/86rzdqs.jpg

[Imagine_If]

did anyone Get To Heaven then? :unsure:

Of course, and if you are interested, I can show you "the way to go"

I was surprised, one can say, flabbergasted, when I realised.

...tell you what, if Darwin had had Google Earth; we would have a creationist theory.

We have been indeed been "mislead". Soon the world Religions will be shaken to their foundations..as the Return is Immanent :yup:

[bigboab]

did anyone Get To Heaven then? :unsure:

Of course, and if you are interested, I can show you "the way to go"

I was surprised, one can say, flabbergasted, when I realised.

...tell you what, if Darwin had had Google Earth; we would have a creationist theory.

We have been indeed been "mislead". Soon the world Religions will be shaken to their foundations..as the Return is Immanent :yup:

Are you saying that the 'return' will be, 'all in the mind'?

[FatBob]

frodo , i want to convert

i saw a sign :dabs:

[Biggles]

did anyone Get To Heaven then? :unsure:

Of course, and if you are interested, I can show you "the way to go"

I was surprised, one can say, flabbergasted, when I realised.

...tell you what, if Darwin had had Google Earth; we would have a creationist theory.

We have been indeed been "mislead". Soon the world Religions will be shaken to their foundations..as the Return is Immanent :yup:

OK I will bite, why would Darwin have written a creationist theory if he had Google Earth?

This return thing has been running for a few weeks now - have you got an anticipated date?

[clocker]

OK I will bite, why would Darwin have written a creationist theory if he had Google Earth?
Because Google itself is evidence of intelligent design.


This return thing has been running for a few weeks now - have you got an anticipated date?
Scheduling conflicts with the Hannah Montana Tour have kept things fluid...will keep you apprised.

[Biggles]

Because Google itself is evidence of intelligent design.

Only just


This return thing has been running for a few weeks now - have you got an anticipated date?
Scheduling conflicts with the Hannah Montana Tour have kept things fluid...will keep you apprised.

Can't say fairer than that - there is the possibilty that Britney may re-marry so that is bound to impact on diaries.

[clocker]

Well, I know I'm keeping my schedule open just in case.
Wonder what Jeebus's day planner looks like...

[SAM]

may you move this thread to the drawing room , plz?

this isn't the right place to discuss religions and stuff
please guys .

[mrnobody]

i thought drawing room is for drawing pictures :P

[clocker]

may you move this thread to the drawing room , plz?

this isn't the right place to discuss religions and stuff
please guys .
What makes you think this thread is about religion?

[sephiroth555]

....

[Broken]

easiest way I know of to get there

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/186/452219727_1a099df1b3.jpg?v=0

[Mr JP Fugley]

Ladder to Heaven.

Someone should write a song about that.

[chalice]

Ladder to Heaven.

Someone should write a song about that.

They already did.

Genesis 28:10-12.

Unlucky, ladders.

Fecked.

[FatBob]

why does people think of heaven as a place in clouds ?

[Barbarossa]

Vikings didn't.

[xfrodobagginsx]

Because heaven is "up" and we have no idea what lies "up" there except clouds.

[Proper Bo]

Because heaven is "up" and we have no idea what lies "up" there except clouds.

Space, like.

[Broken]

Because heaven is "up" and we have no idea what lies "up" there except clouds.

That's, like deep man.

[SAM]

who said we don't know what lies up there
the holy duck is up there for sure

[Broken]

Everyone has their idea as to what's "up there".

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/43/76614105_471291d9f9_o.jpg

[GoLDeN]

its a long guide but what makes u so sure of it ?

[w1zard]

get with you pamela anderson and giveaway to sf peter..:naughty:

[weenden]

well when i get there and i will i want this girl with me http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h75/weenden/7109.jpg

[SAM]

this girl is hiding a washing machine in those boobs

[zatoicchi]

be a viirgin until you die.......guaranteed heaven

[manker]

be a viirgin until you die.......guaranteed heaven
Well, yeah.

Comparatively 'owt would be heaven after a lifetime of completely failing.

[FatBob]

do i suddenly go to heaven when i die ?

i am sure am going to heaven , i saved a bird today

[JROQuinn]

well when i get there and i will i want this girl with me http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h75/weenden/7109.jpg



Now I dont want to get to heaven early by suffocating in her cleavage, so would I go to hell if I have them reduced?

[xfrodobagginsx]

This isn't a porn ad, kindly post that elswhere.

[clocker]

We're actually not too sure what this is, bagginsperson.

Wasn't she created in God's image anyway?
Must be...it would take some Divine Intervention to keep those puppies upright.

[FatBob]

what if god existed ?

i dont believe in god , but what if it does exist ?:dabs:

[Barbarossa]

I love the tag on this thread :happy:

[Biggles]

This isn't a porn ad, kindly post that elswhere.

Was that a coy double bluff SB? The above was of a fully clothed female and really rather tame (albeit very pneumatic) compared to what might have been. :unsure:

[bigboab]

This isn't a porn ad, kindly post that elswhere.

Does this mean you are giving us a choice?

'Heaven or bust' :)

[xfrodobagginsx]

You always have a choice to click on this thread or not. I haven't followed anyone around in different threads, I have posted the gospel in this thread and you clicked on it. You have a right to believe what you want, but so do I. You are welcome to ask any questions regarding to this thread and I would try to answer them to the best of my ability.

[bigboab]

You always have a choice to click on this thread or not. I haven't followed anyone around in different threads, I have posted the gospel in this thread and you clicked on it. You have a right to believe what you want, but so do I. You are welcome to ask any questions regarding to this thread and I would try to answer them to the best of my ability.

How can anyone be following you round in different threads when you have only posted in two? This one and 'Hello Noobs'.:wacko: Is it your omnipresence?:whistling

[SAM]

You always have a choice to click on this thread or not. I haven't followed anyone around in different threads, I have posted the gospel in this thread and you clicked on it. You have a right to believe what you want, but so do I. You are welcome to ask any questions regarding to this thread and I would try to answer them to the best of my ability.
i guess he is right
you should stop this non sense :whistling

[Biggles]

You always have a choice to click on this thread or not. I haven't followed anyone around in different threads, I have posted the gospel in this thread and you clicked on it. You have a right to believe what you want, but so do I. You are welcome to ask any questions regarding to this thread and I would try to answer them to the best of my ability.
i guess he is right
you should stop this non sense :whistling

That is unlikely to happen though is it? :noes:

A thread in the Lounge is communal property, can anyone think of one that ever stayed on topic? SB has joined FST with the express purpose of posting a religious tract. Usually we boot such posts straight back out for the spam they are. However, as SB has stayed to engage in a bit of banter we have taken him to our hearts - well spleen - but it is close enough. :shifty:

It won't stay on topic but does that really matter?

[Snee]

Fucker keeps bumping it, this shitty thread, every time it drops out of sight, despite people asking him to GTFO. That's some kind of trolling and no mistake.

[Yinon]

if the society of hell is made of scientists and rational people, AKA people who don't believe in god, then I wish my soul to burn in there

[hoosdathu]

juz do good deeds will do, doesn't matter wats ur religion

[clocker]

juz do good deeds will do, doesn't matter wats ur religion
"Good deeds" only count for 70% of the grade.
Sadly for you, spelling makes up the rest.

Quit helping cripples across the street and repeat third grade.

[manker]

Completely agree there, clockster.

Wtf are cripples doing crossing roads anyway - shouldn't they be in mental hospitals or something else. They shouldn't expect help in any case, their predicament is god's punishment for their evil-doings in a previous life.
Can't do the time, don't do the crime, I say :smilie4:

[clocker]

Shouldn't you be keeping the planets in order or something?

[manker]

Shouldn't you be keeping the planets in order or something?
Jeez, I can't be everywhere at once.

No, wait ... .

[FatBob]

i wonder how Xenu's heaven looks like

[Broken]

http://i26.tinypic.com/mb2445.jpg

[limpdickkid]

I believe that YOU died on the Cross and Rose from the dead for my sins.


I dont get that. Why did he die for your sins? If God wanted to forgive you your sins he would have without having to get his son killed in the process, isnt God all merciful? It just doesnt make sense to me why Jesus had to die to get the sins of mankind forgiven, and if the sins of mankind are forgiven then why do any good deeds, lets go on a crime spree.

Sorry for bumping this thread guys.

[xfrodobagginsx]

God is all merciful, but God is also a Holy and just God. Justice MUST be served when someone commits a crime against God. Since we are all sinners, we are criminals in God's eyes. Just as the president can give you a pardon, Jesus can give you a pardon for your sins, because He took your punshment for YOURS and MY sins when He died on the cross because He lived a perfect life, then died in our place.

[clocker]

Justice MUST be served when someone commits a crime against God. Since we are all sinners, we are criminals in God's eyes.
Possibly the worst sales pitch ever.

[Broken]

http://www.blackjesusshirts.com/images/hung_small.jpg

[SAM]

God is all merciful, but God is also a Holy and just God. Justice MUST be served when someone commits a crime against God. Since we are all sinners, we are criminals in God's eyes. Just as the president can give you a pardon, Jesus can give you a pardon for your sins, because He took your punshment for YOURS and MY sins when He died on the cross because He lived a perfect life, then died in our place.
now, if jesus gave me his pardon for my sins by putting himself in the cross and died for my sins and everyone else 's sins.
so what's the use of making good deeds .
and if god as you described is just , why he tortured his son to death on the cross. why he left him killed .
another thing , jesus -by sacrifice himself on the cross - gave all human kind forgiveness for their sins so if i don't believe in him - of course this is a sin , in Christianity point of view -i'm been forgiven so what the use in blieving in him any way.
either way i'm of the hock and i'm going to heaven :)

[Biggles]

God is all merciful, but God is also a Holy and just God. Justice MUST be served when someone commits a crime against God. Since we are all sinners, we are criminals in God's eyes. Just as the president can give you a pardon, Jesus can give you a pardon for your sins, because He took your punshment for YOURS and MY sins when He died on the cross because He lived a perfect life, then died in our place.

"You can't have any pudding unless you eat your meat! How can you have any pudding if you haven't eaten your meat!!"

"Mongo just a pawn in the game of life"

[Biggles]

http://www.sott.net.nyud.net/image/image/5633/norway_comic.jpg

[manker]

http://www.sott.net.nyud.net/image/image/5633/norway_comic.jpg
:lol: :happy:

[Broken]

http://i25.tinypic.com/5152tl.jpg

[thewizeard]

God is all merciful, but God is also a Holy and just God. Justice MUST be served when someone commits a crime against God. Since we are all sinners, we are criminals in God's eyes. Just as the president can give you a pardon, Jesus can give you a pardon for your sins, because He took your punshment for YOURS and MY sins when He died on the cross because He lived a perfect life, then died in our place.

That's rubbish..you will have to prove all this..and don't refer to the Bible.:noes:

[FatBob]

what were the sin and punishments that followed frodo ?

can you explain that ?

so when jesus died on cross those "sins" are forgiven ?

[thewizeard]

what were the sin and punishments that followed frodo ?

can you explain that ?

so when jesus died on cross those "sins" are forgiven ?

He will tell you it's written in the Bible... I suppose Judas was a traitor too?

[FatBob]

according to frodo and bible these sins are kinda inherited . . that is really lame

[FatBob]

According to Genesis, God accepted their apology only partially and an eternal punishment was meted out to them, prescribed as follows:


To the woman he said, ‘I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you.’ To Adam he said, ‘Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat of it,’ ‘Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. By sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it were you taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.’ (Genesis 3:16–19)

[FatBob]

If Jesus Christ atoned for the sins of the sinful human beings, was the punishment prescribed for the Sin abolished after the Crucifixion? Did those who believed in Jesus Christ as the ‘Son of God’, if they were women, cease to have painful childbirth? Did the believing men start earning their livelihood without exerting manual labour? Did the propensity to sin cease to pass on to the future generations and innocent children started being given birth to? If the answer to all of these questions were to be ‘yes,’ then of course there would be some justification in seriously contemplating the Christian philosophy of Sin and Atonement.But Alas, the answer to all these questions are no, no and no. If nothing seems to have changed since the Crucifixion, both in the Christian and non-Christian worlds, then what would be the meaning of Atonement?


but frodo , you version of sin and atonement doesnt make any sense

[xfrodobagginsx]

The are forgiven, but their bodies are still under the curse of sin. When Christ returns to the earth, the curse on their physical bodies will be lifted and they will be given new bodies that will last forever. I am going by what the bible says. Christians have two natures warring one with another, unsaved folks only have 1 nature. That's why Christians still sin until they die, yet they desire not to sin and to be perfect and to do what God wants.


Ro 7:18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.
For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.
Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? {the body...: or, this body of death} I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.

[limpdickkid]

I think the question I should've asked frodo is:

Why does God need a son? Isnt God immortal? A King only needs a son if he's going to perish, so his son can carry on his name, otherwise the son would be a hindrance.
Also if Jesus was God's son wouldn't people argue that the things he preached were easy for him to do because he was god's son, and they would be difficult for normal humans to follow. Things like forgive someone for cutting off your arm, show him love and that will change him. Its easy for god to forgive because he's all merciful and benevolent, but thats not human nature.

Edit: forgot to say. whats up with this flesh of sin and all that? I dont get it one bit. :dabs:

lol...love the tags. xenu vs jesus. rofl. who comes up with this stuff!!!

[FatBob]

Edit: forgot to say. whats up with this flesh of sin and all that? I dont get it one bit. :dabs:



welcome to the club mate :dabs:


lol...love the tags. xenu vs jesus. rofl. who comes up with this stuff!!!:lookaroun

[chalice]

Frodo, Jeebus came to me last night in a dream.

He said, 'you are the chalice of god'.

I said, 'Well, obviousment, is that all you came here to tell me'?

'Non', he said (for God is French, bummer, I know), I want you to tell that Frodo Baggins to stfu, asap, anon, immediately like'.

Frodo, stfu by divine intervention for the love of Christ.

And so it was written.

Amen.

[Biggles]

Frodo, Jeebus came to me last night in a dream.

He said, 'you are the chalice of god'.

I said, 'Well, obviousment, is that all you came here to tell me'?

'Non', he said (for God is French, bummer, I know), I want you to tell that Frodo Baggins to stfu, asap, anon, immediately like'.

Frodo, stfu by divine intervention for the love of Christ.

And so it was written.

Amen.

Golden trumpets perchance?

I like a nice golden trumpet.

[manker]

Frodo, Jeebus came to me last night in a dream.

He said, 'you are the chalice of god'.

I said, 'Well, obviousment, is that all you came here to tell me'?

'Non', he said (for God is French, bummer, I know), I want you to tell that Frodo Baggins to stfu, asap, anon, immediately like'.

Frodo, stfu by divine intervention for the love of Christ.

And so it was written.

Amen.

Golden trumpets perchance?

I like a nice golden trumpet.
Is that like a golden shower, except with a flatulence bonus.

[Biggles]

Golden trumpets perchance?

I like a nice golden trumpet.
Is that like a golden shower, except with a flatulence bonus.

Now you come to mention it :shifty:

[xfrodobagginsx]

The flesh is the physical part of you. It is sinful because Adam, our father sinned while we were still unborn, so the only thing that could come out of a sinner was a sinner. Those who accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, recieve a new spirit within them that is NOT physical, but is just as real. It is the part of the Christian that is able to communicate with God and understand right from wrong as God does. It is the part of the Christian that wants to please God and that part of the Christian that unsaved folks simply cannot relate to because they don't have it. It is also the part of a Christian that is perfect. The flesh still sins, but the Spirit never sins. There is a war between the two in a Christian. If you want it, all you have to do is accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. You can do so by praying that prayer at the bottom of this first post to God from your heart.

[Barbarossa]

All we are is dust in the wind, dude.

Why are you still here?

[bigboab]

The flesh is the physical part of you. It is sinful because Adam, our father sinned while we were still unborn, so the only thing that could come out of a sinner was a sinner. Those who accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, recieve a new spirit within them that is NOT physical, but is just as real. It is the part of the Christian that is able to communicate with God and understand right from wrong as God does. It is the part of the Christian that wants to please God and that part of the Christian that unsaved folks simply cannot relate to because they don't have it. It is also the part of a Christian that is perfect. The flesh still sins, but the Spirit never sins. There is a war between the two in a Christian. If you want it, all you have to do is accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. You can do so by praying that prayer at the bottom of this first post to God from your heart.
Can I assume that they don't receive a dictionary?:)

[Biggles]

All we are is dust in the wind, dude.

Why are you still here?


Cos he’s got high hopes, he’s got high hopes
He’s got high apple pie, in the sky hopes

[limpdickkid]

The flesh is the physical part of you. It is sinful because Adam, our father sinned while we were still unborn, so the only thing that could come out of a sinner was a sinner. Those who accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, recieve a new spirit within them that is NOT physical, but is just as real. It is the part of the Christian that is able to communicate with God and understand right from wrong as God does. It is the part of the Christian that wants to please God and that part of the Christian that unsaved folks simply cannot relate to because they don't have it. It is also the part of a Christian that is perfect. The flesh still sins, but the Spirit never sins. There is a war between the two in a Christian. If you want it, all you have to do is accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. You can do so by praying that prayer at the bottom of this first post to God from your heart.

so are you saying that Jesus, who was also born from a human, was also a sinner? And you still havent clarified what I said earlier: "If Jesus was the son, or even part of God, what ever he preached was easy for him to follow because he was divine but not for normal humans." What can you tell me about this?

[Biggles]

The flesh is the physical part of you. It is sinful because Adam, our father sinned while we were still unborn, so the only thing that could come out of a sinner was a sinner. Those who accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, recieve a new spirit within them that is NOT physical, but is just as real. It is the part of the Christian that is able to communicate with God and understand right from wrong as God does. It is the part of the Christian that wants to please God and that part of the Christian that unsaved folks simply cannot relate to because they don't have it. It is also the part of a Christian that is perfect. The flesh still sins, but the Spirit never sins. There is a war between the two in a Christian. If you want it, all you have to do is accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. You can do so by praying that prayer at the bottom of this first post to God from your heart.

so are you saying that Jesus, who was also born from a human, was also a sinner? And you still havent clarified what I said earlier: "If Jesus was the son, or even part of God, what ever he preached was easy for him to follow because he was divine but not for normal humans." What can you tell me about this?

An interesting theological point and one which has been the cause of a fair number of heretic burnings over the centuries. A good burning at the stake was often considered the best way of highlighting God's infinite forgiveness and love ... errr like :unsure:

[Defy]

I was baptised as a Mormon when I was 8. I only did it because my grandparents were devout Mormons and my grandpop so dearly wanted it for me since I was the favorite grandchild of the bunch. I never followed the religion but...

They had to dunk me twice. I guess I was vile enough that one dip in the freezing water wasn't enough! :shifty:

[limpdickkid]

so are you saying that Jesus, who was also born from a human, was also a sinner? And you still havent clarified what I said earlier: "If Jesus was the son, or even part of God, what ever he preached was easy for him to follow because he was divine but not for normal humans." What can you tell me about this?

An interesting theological point and one which has been the cause of a fair number of heretic burnings over the centuries. A good burning at the stake was often considered the best way of highlighting God's infinite forgiveness and love ... errr like :unsure:

:lol:

You know it just bugs me that he's saying no matter how good a person is and no matter how much good you do, you're still a sinner because you havent accepted Jesus Christ as your "lord and saviour" and gained that "new spirit". puhleez, give me a break. You havent made a single logical argument. I believe in the existent of an omnipotent God but I cannot believe God sent his son to guide humanity who sacrificed himself to protect them which goes to show he couldnt do his job and emotionally balck-mailed his dad to forgive us, its just bull. Its just like hindus believing in God, Rama, guiding them (and telling them to eat vegetables while he ate meat himself). ;)

[Biggles]

I was baptised as a Mormon when I was 8. I only did it because my grandparents were devout Mormons and my grandpop so dearly wanted it for me since I was the favorite grandchild of the bunch. I never followed the religion but...

They had to dunk me twice. I guess I was vile enough that one dip in the freezing water wasn't enough! :shifty:

That or they had a prophecy about how bad you were going to be :shifty:

Double dunking ought to be good for a fair bit of riotous living.

[FatBob]

I cannot believe God sent his son to guide humanity who sacrificed himself to protect them which goes to show he couldnt do his job and emotionally balck-mailed his dad to forgive us,

seems like shakespear is behind bible :mellow:

[Sextent]

Always remember, you can't say fundamentalist without saying mentalist.

And also fundament.

[chalice]

And also fun.

And also men.

And also list.

And also dame.

And also Amen.

Amen.

[Sextent]

Yeah but mine means arse loony.

[chalice]

And mine only displays it.

[Sextent]

Which one.

[chalice]

3,055 to choose from.

Fill yer Jesus boots, like.

[FatBob]

how to get to heaven when you are alive , coming up soon

[chalice]

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=jQcNiD0Z3MU

[chalice]

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=1wfamPW3Eaw

[chalice]

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=GDFC1fB6LuU

[Biggles]

Always remember, you can't say fundamentalist without saying mentalist.

And also fundament.

That is one of those little quirks that almost makes me think there is a God (and that he is a lot like Jerry Sadowitz) :dabs:

[Fromagepas]

Always remember, you can't say fundamentalist without saying mentalist.

And also fundament.

That is one of those little quirks that almost makes me think there is a God (and that he is a lot like Jerry Sadowitz) :dabs:

Jewish :blink:

No way is She Jewish. They crucified God jnr.

[Imagine_If]

..of course..this way suggested by xfrodobagginsx will not get you to heaven.. Knowing where heaven is and of course presuming you have followed an exemplary lifestyle; it's been decided at the most recent meeting (in Heaven,) that everyone who applies, will be admitted to heaven, no matter what race or creed. This decision is due to the continued competition and dis-information, between the different religions here on earth ... and wrongly informed members such as xfrodobagginsx .

NB: In the year 2012, civilisation as we know it, on Earth, will be ending, so this information is relevant. Information regarding the way to go, will be released in time for you to make the right choice. :)

[Chip Monk]

Which is nice.

[Biggles]

Which is nice.

2012? I really should have taken the early retirement option. :pinch:

That said it is, as you say, nice.

[xfrodobagginsx]

Where does the concept of heaven and hell originate? From the bible. The bible says that the Lake of fire is eternal. It says that Christians have eternal life and non Christians have eternal death and eternity in the lake of fire.

[clocker]

Where does the concept of heaven and hell originate? From the bible.
Huh?
I thought everything came from God, including the reality of Heaven and Hell, not just the concept.

At any rate, the "concept" as you've presented it seems rather trite and petty.
Three strikes and you're out- forever- now into the fiery lake with you.
Your fate, determined by a few lousy years on Earth?

[thewizeard]

Where does the concept of heaven and hell originate? From the bible. The bible says that the Lake of fire is eternal. It says that Christians have eternal life and non Christians have eternal death and eternity in the lake of fire.

Dear believer, do not be disturbed, your religious zest has been noticed and...noted. Do not believe all you read in books; Christian books will indeed tell you heaven is only for Christians. As the Qur'an will tell you that heaven is only for Muslims, etc etc. This will not say that it is true or untrue.
Be more concerned for your own personal journey back home as things are not what they appear and filled with pitfalls. In fact, one can be sure continuing to mislead people, will slow your progress too and possibly throw you into your " lake of fire," that you seem to have as an image in your mind.

[Snee]

Where does the concept of heaven and hell originate? From the bible. The bible says that the Lake of fire is eternal. It says that Christians have eternal life and non Christians have eternal death and eternity in the lake of fire.

"Hell" as a concept is a fairly universal idea, an archetype, even. I think the version in the bible is derived from an earlier, persian, religion, if I'm not remembering it wrong. Other religions came up with hells all on their own, buddhism has several, the mayans had at least an underworld, and norse mythology has a niflheim, to name a few.

As for heaven, that came to christianity via judaism, and long before that it was even more of an archetype than hell.

To be frank, most fundamentals in the bible aren't original at all, most seem borrowed from something earlier, and sometimes twisted in the borrowing.

I don't know who taught you about religion, and your religion in particular, but whoever it was left a lot of stuff out. It probably doesn't help that your way of absorbing information from the bible, and from without, period, is a tad selective.

[xfrodobagginsx]

Where does the concept of heaven and hell originate? From the bible. The bible says that the Lake of fire is eternal. It says that Christians have eternal life and non Christians have eternal death and eternity in the lake of fire.

"Hell" as a concept is a fairly universal idea, an archetype, even. I think the version in the bible is derived from an earlier, persian, religion, if I'm not remembering it wrong. Other religions came up with hells all on their own, buddhism has several, the mayans had at least an underworld, and norse mythology has a niflheim, to name a few.

As for heaven, that came to christianity via judaism, and long before that it was even more of an archetype than hell.

To be frank, most fundamentals in the bible aren't original at all, most seem borrowed from something earlier, and sometimes twisted in the borrowing.

I don't know who taught you about religion, and your religion in particular, but whoever it was left a lot of stuff out. It probably doesn't help that your way of absorbing information from the bible, and from without, period, is a tad selective.


You are greatly misinformed about Christianity. I would like for you to show me what was borrowed from other religions, since I am the uniformed one here it shouldn't be a problem for you. Jesus Christ isn't like any of the false gods that preceded His comming to the earth.

[Fromagepas]

I am greatly misinformed about Christianity.

To be fair on yourself you are making most of this stuff up.

It is however the normal type of nonsense one reads when an atheist pretends to be a Christian in order to mock Christians.

If it's amusing you, cool. Make the most of your three score and ten. One wouldn't want to waste one's entire existence.

[Barbarossa]

You are greatly misinformed about Christianity. I would like for you to show me what was borrowed from other religions, since I am the uniformed one here it shouldn't be a problem for you. Jesus Christ isn't like any of the false gods that preceded His comming to the earth.

You never said you wore a uniform! :O

To be fare, checkout girls at Asda wear a uniform, but they know fuck all about anything.


By the way, I have incontravertable proof that God does not exist, but you'll have to take my word for it ;)

[rucka315]

Passover is the key to eternal life through Jesus's blood that was shed on the cross.

[Biggles]

SB

Shurley you are uniformed regarding Judaic El worship, the devolpment from Polytheism to Henotheistic beliefs, then to Monthestic beliefs? Christianity itself is an amalgam of Judaic beliefs, Zoariastrianism and European and Egyptian Pagan beliefs. Jesus himself refers to Satan as "the father of lies" which although not used in the OT was the Zoariastrian term for the "dark side". In the OT, Satan is a minor character who talks with Yahweh (Job). In Zoaristrian traditions he is almost equal with Mazda (the light side) and they are locked in fierce battle. Judiac death was Sheol - which was essentially a return to the dust and unknowing sleep. Zoariastrian death had Hell (lake of fire) and Heaven. Zoariastrianism was unitarian in that one's term in the fire was dependent on the level of naughtiness but that ultimately all are redeemed by a good toasting.

In Catholic and Orthodox traditions (the oldest and largest denominations) Mary has a prominent role. The cult of Isis was an important religion in the Roman times. Isis was Queen of Heaven and Star of the Sea. Many of her temples were converted into Churches and dedicated to Mary.

I could go on but what do I know :dabs:

[Afronaut]

Nope I'm a scientologist. As long as my dues are paid the aliens will come and get me. J/k


http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/5885/cosen6.jpg

http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/3710/coskw4.jpg

http://i263.photobucket.com/albums/ii136/lthrrnsrpt/cos2.jpg

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b375/nehiwolf/cos-1.jpg

http://a61.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/44/l_3447ab2d4f498d9b30b2b7256262eac4.jpg

http://img172.imageshack.us/img172/5171/anonymousmomjz1.jpg

http://a117.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/48/l_6d337453f721f00c686d0ed7a613a2a4.jpg

http://img219.imageshack.us/img219/259/1202666100024xy5.jpg

more: http://enturbulation.org

:naughty:


xenu (http://xenu.net/)

[Pzero]

The tags are amazing...

[Snee]

You are greatly misinformed about Christianity. I would like for you to show me what was borrowed from other religions, since I am the uniformed one here it shouldn't be a problem for you. Jesus Christ isn't like any of the false gods that preceded His comming to the earth.
I just told you some of what was borrowed, and where from in the very post you replied to.

But, since that didn't take, you can start off reading what biggles said.

Then you can try reading Gilgamesh, for example, there are quite a few parallels that can be drawn from that to the old testament, which, btw, more or less is the hebrew/jewish bible.

Then there's hell, ie hades, niflheim, Di Yu, naraka etc.

And the Devil, ie Baal Sebui, Belial and so forth. Who is also something of a trickster-archetype, cf Jung.

Look hell up, even wikipedia has a decent grasp of who else believed in it. Same goes for heaven.

With regards to Jeebus, he comes off as a bit of a hindu avatar, and possibly the archetypical hero (think Gilgamesh again, who also possessed divine traits), with a pacifist-twist.


In short, if you actually took time to get an education, and maybe did a bit of reading and tried to think for yourself for a bit, rather than misinterpreted the bible and made christians look bad on the internet, you'd probably find that the bible in and of itself, just like christian faith is a mish-mash of archetypes and odds and ends borrowed from other places and religions, nicely rounded off with the disclaimer that everyone else is wrong, which really is a bit ironic, given the context.

Information about Jung's archetypes is available in any half-decent library, just as definitions of things like heaven and hell can be found in any encyclopedia, and are mentioned, with different names, in texts outdating both hebrew and christian bibles.

[FatBob]

if you fart real hard , you should be able to escape the earths gravity field and you will reach heaven

[chalice]

Nice post Snee, but why even bother with this twat.

He will select what he wants to absorb and fuck the rest in the bin.

We are just about the only forum on the interweb who will tolerate his bollocks. Throw him to the lions.

[Snee]

Don't get me wrong now, though, Fromage is most likely right, you are probably a full-blown idiot trolling and pretending to be a fundamentalist, which is to say that you are pretending to be someone slightly less apalling than you actually are, frodo.

Either that or you are more than a little bit thick, either way you aren't really accomplishing anything else than making people think that you in particular is an idiot who should shut the fuck up.

[Snee]

Nice post Snee, but why even bother with this twat.

He will select what he wants to absorb and fuck the rest in the bin.

We are just about the only forum on the interweb who will tolerate his bollocks. Throw him to the lions.
I know, I'd like to think that he'll give up, though, eventually.

It's almost so I'm wishing this board wasn't so keen on free speech in the lounge, at least not when it comes to frodo's kind.

[MsDraginGirl]

Did someone say Beelzebub. :smilie4:

[kittybewm]

I was engaged to Jesus briefly but then he gave Sam his body back

[xfrodobagginsx]

Please take the time to read this first post and pray that prayer to God at the bottom of it if you haven't yet.

[bigboab]

ARE YOU 100% SURE THAT IF YOU DIED TODAY THAT YOU WOULD GO TO HEAVEN?

There are some things that you should know:

1. Realize that you are a sinner and in need of a Savior:

Ro 3:23 "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;"

Ro 3:10 "As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:"

This all began with the story of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. God created them perfect, there was no death or sorrow. God told them not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. They disobeyed God and as a result, sin entered into the world. The pain which this world sees is the result of sin.

2. Because of our sins, we die both spiritually and physically, but God sent His Son to die so that you can have a chance not to have to go to hell by accepting what He did on the cross for you:

Ro 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

Ro 5:8 "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. for us."

Every person who has ever lived is a sinner and is not righteous because we do bad things. A sin is a crime against God, just as if you steal something at the store, it is punishable by going to jail. It's the same thing with sin. Even if we lie one time, the punishment is hell, which is a prison for those who commit crimes against God. No matter how well you live your life from then on, you have already committed a sin which will be punished if you are not pardoned. If you commit a crime, and then live as a good citizen you still will go to jail for the crime you committed. Right? Just as the president can pardon a crime so you won't go to jail, Jesus can pardon your sins so that you do not go to hell, and can go to heaven when you die.

3. If you will confess to Jesus Christ that you are a sinner and in need of a Savior, except Him as Lord and Savior and believe in your heart that He died on the cross and rose from the dead you will be saved.

Ro 10:9,10 "that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.."

Joh 1:12 Joh 1:12 “But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name”


You cannot get to heaven by being a good person, going to church, baptism or any other way other than by turning to Jesus and asking Him to forgive you for your sins and save you. While these are good things to do, some people believe that they will get to heaven if they do these things, but the bible says that there is only one way to heaven and that is through receiving what Jesus Christ did on the cross for you.

Will you do that today? If you will, you can be 100% sure that you will go to heaven when you die.

Do you believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross and rose from the dead for your sins? Are you willing to turn from your sins to Jesus Christ for Salvation?

4. If you are willing to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior please pray this prayer to God from your heart:

"Dear LORD JESUS, I believe that YOU died on the Cross and Rose from the dead for my sins. I ask you to come into my heart and forgive me for my sins, take me to heaven when I die. I now receive You as my Lord and Savior. Thank You for saving me. In Jesus holy name, Amen."

If you prayed that prayer from your heart to God, and meant it with all of your heart, you are now a child of God and will go to heaven when you die.

Now that you are on your way to heaven, you should attend a bible believing church and follow in baptism.


Please take the time to read this first post and pray that prayer to God at the bottom of it if you haven't yet.

I don't see any God at the bottom of that post.:wacko:

[Agrajag]

Most preposterous bump ever. You really are a prick.

Who's pulling your strings this week, idiot.

[chalice]

Who, Frodo?

I thought we has established this.

[Agrajag]

Who, Frodo?

I thought we has established this.

Not with you there old bean.

[chalice]

Frodo is a cawk who will repeat the first post ad nauseum.

I'm surprised you reacted.

Unless it was to whatever Boob posted.

In which case, I've had that cawk on ignore since his racist comments about the Irish yonks ago, like.

[Agrajag]

Frodo is a cawk who will repeat the first post ad nauseum.

I'm surprised you reacted.

Unless it was to whatever Boob posted.

In which case, I've had that cawk on ignore since his racist comments about the Irish yonks ago, like.

Yeah it's that prick.

The last time I pointed out his homophobia (he's that as well as racist, btw. A seriously appalling human being) he accused me of being a pedophile to deflect from the issue.

Ranted a whole load of unsubstantiated shite about it.

He's an evil fuck as far as I'm concerned.

How he has managed not to be banned, what with the racism, homophobia and general hatred of non WASPs is entirely beyond me.

[chalice]

Obviously a universal cunt, then.

I might just take him off ignore to see what bollocks he's spouting now.

I might even start a poll but I'm afraid public apathy just might re-install a sense of self-importance in the cawk.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Obviously a universal cunt, then.



Oh he's a hideous human being.

A bigot of the worst kind. "If it's not like me then it's just wrong".

The last one was something along the lines of "We were warned about people like that when I were a lad". You know the idea, gay men are obviously predators, after underage boys.

You just know he believes it as well. Not even a troll, just a fucking bigot.

[SAM]

by polar express

[Biggles]

by polar express

:lol:

:unsure: that was a wee play on bi-polar and Polar Express wasn't it?

[Mr JP Fugley]

by polar express

:lol:

:unsure: that was a wee play on bi-polar and Polar Express wasn't it?

:lol: Never got that.

Which is quite depressing actually.

[FatBob]

can we all like thumbs down this thread and make it dissapear :dabs:

[Snee]

:lol:

:unsure: that was a wee play on bi-polar and Polar Express wasn't it?

:lol: Never got that.

Which is quite depressing actually.

To be fair, that was a bit like a gerbil getting in front of a keyboard and posting futuristic poetry.

You don't expect "Frzzzle fsssch arfghfr flebeleb" to mean something from that sort of source.

[chalice]

Credit where it's due, Snee.

He meant it.

He might have plagiarized it, but he meant it.

[markupmaster]

Grr,Too lazy to read it all!

:D

[Alien5]

http://i29.tinypic.com/15foe3t.jpg