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View Full Version : The Fine Art Of Farting.......


Yogi
10-25-2003, 01:46 PM
My girlfriend told me yesterday, that even when she has a cold, she still can feel the precence of my farts.......

Naturally, i reacted all proud.
I just can't be modest about such a thing.

I allways wondered why Saddam never contacted me.
I deliver the best damn WMD's available!!!

Who else is convinced it should be an olympic sport??

:w00t: Yogi
Smooch
10-25-2003, 01:59 PM
Originally posted by SensualGardening@25 October 2003 - 13:46
My girlfriend told me yesterday, that even when she has a cold, she still can feel the precence of my farts.......

Naturally, i reacted all proud.
I just can't be modest about such a thing.

:lol:
Riddler
10-25-2003, 02:01 PM
We actually have contests at work to see who can clear a room the fastest.http://www.emotipad.com/emoticons/Puke%20Chicken.gif


:lol:
UKMan
10-25-2003, 02:38 PM
This post probably explains best why i left and why i couldnt resist coming back :D

I love this place :wub:

Peace
UKMan
Yogi
10-25-2003, 02:40 PM
Originally posted by Riddler@25 October 2003 - 15:01
We actually have contests at work to see who can clear a room the fastest.http://www.emotipad.com/emoticons/Puke%20Chicken.gif


:lol:
Now be honest, Riddler!!

How do you score????

:o Yogi
Adster
10-25-2003, 02:49 PM
I had a ex g/f that farted 313 tiems in one day i counted :o

and when I was lickign somewhere she farted and nearly killed me I was suffercating :o :lol: :lol:
Yogi
10-25-2003, 02:57 PM
I had a ex g/f that farted 313 tiems in one day i counted 


Assuming 8 hours of sleep, that still leaves an average of about 20 farts an hour.
That's certainly olympic material!
(in the speedfarting-event)

Explains her being your ex........

:P Yogi
Wolfmight
10-25-2003, 03:03 PM
It must be horrible when a girl farts during anal.
heh, anal is pretty gross anyways.. might like have to use toilet paper on your Pecker. If a girl gives anal before her blowjob... damn that's really filthy
Yogi
10-25-2003, 03:08 PM
Originally posted by Wolfmight@25 October 2003 - 16:03
It must be horrible when a girl farts during anal.
heh, anal is pretty gross anyways.. might like have to use toilet paper on your Pecker. If a girl gives anal before her blowjob... damn that's really filthy
An enema will do the trick........ :o

After that i only think it'll be a spectecular feeling; just keep your nose pinched...
Riddler
10-25-2003, 03:27 PM
Originally posted by SensualGardening+25 October 2003 - 07:40--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (SensualGardening &#064; 25 October 2003 - 07:40)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Riddler@25 October 2003 - 15:01
We actually have contests at work to see who can clear a room the fastest.http://www.emotipad.com/emoticons/Puke%20Chicken.gif


:lol:
Now be honest, Riddler&#33;&#33;

How do you score????

:o Yogi [/b][/quote]
:lol: I&#39;m ashamed to admit it but...I&#39;m a rank amateur compared to these guys. :P

The tears welling up in my eyes was a sure sign that I couldn&#39;t cut it. :rolleyes:
summerlinda
10-25-2003, 04:32 PM
This thread has TOO MUCH info :blink:
NotoriousBIC
10-25-2003, 05:29 PM
For style points:
Let one of those &#39;silent but deadly&#39; farts rip and say with a straight face: "Do I smell something burning?&#33;".
Don&#39;t forget to leg it after the people of room had a good, deep sniff. B)
Lamsey
10-25-2003, 05:35 PM
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/forumfun/sucks2.jpg
CrumbCat
10-25-2003, 05:37 PM
I once put together a Traveling Road Act - the act, you guessed it - Farting&#33; It wasn&#39;t me farting, but a group of Dogs.

I&#39;ve re-created the act for your viewing pleasure.

Enjoy&#33;

http://www.ats-sonic.com/images/redeye.gif (http://home.clara.net/sadler.home/balti/misc/fartdogs.swf)

Click the image to see the act&#33;

This reply (or lack thereof) has been brought to you as a courtesy of CrumbCat.
© Copyright 2003 by CrumbCat, all rights reserved.
Evil Gemini
10-25-2003, 05:41 PM
Originally posted by Wolfmight@25 October 2003 - 16:03
It must be horrible when a girl farts during anal.
heh, anal is pretty gross anyways.. might like have to use toilet paper on your Pecker. If a girl gives anal before her blowjob... damn that&#39;s really filthy
Damnit man thats disgusting. Cmon, farting while....Oh man thats sick&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;
Yogi
10-25-2003, 05:41 PM
Wow........

That&#39;s what i call: Fine Art&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;

:P Yogi
TheBigGfella
10-25-2003, 08:49 PM
I&#39;ve been FINED (real money) about £150 at work for farting too much&#33;&#33; Had the disciplinary hearing, the whole 9 yards. Pathetic, it was. I mean, it&#39;s a natural bodily function like going fror a crap or a piss.

Mind you, they do stink. I&#39;ve just let one go as I write this&#33; (seriously). :lol:
bigboab
10-25-2003, 08:53 PM
Originally posted by TheBigGfella@25 October 2003 - 20:49
I&#39;ve been FINED (real money) about £150 at work for farting too much&#33;&#33; Had the disciplinary hearing, the whole 9 yards. Pathetic, it was. I mean, it&#39;s a natural bodily function like going fror a crap or a piss.

Mind you, they do stink. I&#39;ve just let one go as I write this&#33; (seriously). :lol:
Where were you working? In a space ship? :D
TheBigGfella
10-25-2003, 08:58 PM
Originally posted by bigboab+25 October 2003 - 20:53--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (bigboab @ 25 October 2003 - 20:53)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-TheBigGfella@25 October 2003 - 20:49
I&#39;ve been FINED (real money) about £150 at work for farting too much&#33;&#33; Had the disciplinary hearing, the whole 9 yards. Pathetic, it was. I mean, it&#39;s a natural bodily function like going fror a crap or a piss.

Mind you, they do stink. I&#39;ve just let one go as I write this&#33; (seriously). :lol:
Where were you working? In a space ship? :D [/b][/quote]
I&#39;m absolutely serious. I was fined. It was about 5 years ago. I kid ye not.
TheBigGfella
10-25-2003, 09:03 PM
One of them was into a females hat. I admit I shouldn&#39;t have done that. :o
UKMan
10-25-2003, 09:41 PM
more windy wit from yours truly:

FACT:
The Swedish word for speed is - FART
The Swedish word for entrance (to a garage for ex.)- INFART
The Swedish word for exit (yepp) - UTFART

Peace
UKMan
Lamsey
10-25-2003, 09:49 PM
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/forumfun/sucks4.jpg
Yogi
10-25-2003, 10:04 PM
Originally posted by UKMan@25 October 2003 - 22:41
more windy wit from yours truly:

FACT:
The Swedish word for speed is - FART
The Swedish word for entrance (to a garage for ex.)- INFART
The Swedish word for exit (yepp) - UTFART

Peace
UKMan
Now i know what made some forummembers so happy about your return......

I&#39;m impressed with your input on this "subject".

Now i utfart.


:lol: :P Yogi
UKMan
10-25-2003, 10:14 PM
Originally posted by SensualGardening@25 October 2003 - 23:04
Now i know what made some forummembers so happy about your return......

I&#39;m impressed with your input on this "subject".

Now i utfart.


:lol: :P Yogi
Many thx for the kind remark and now to finish off:

When the Swedish police stop you for speeding - FARTKONTROLL

Peace
UKMan - FART expert.