What can I do?

[Squeamous]

Usually when I have sexy times with a man he wants to do it again. In this case, the plaintiff, who we shall refer to only as 'R' insists that although he would like to spend more time with me sex is by no means a foregone conclusion. I think it is. Obviously I could just rape him like I normally do, but I would really like to try consensual sex for once in my life. Since the feted occasion of our coupling I have been trying to show an interest in his shit and sending him Youtube clips of the Borg and Dominion wars (Star Trek franchise) in an attempt to inflame his ardour. To be honest I'm almost out of ideas. We have arranged a Star Trek DVD fest at his place over the Xmas period. Would it be too much to turn up as Jeri Ryan in a Santa outfit? Obviously I want to avoid this sort of thing happening:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85O6HISsUTk

:eyebrows:

[mjmacky]

Maybe next time drive European or American, and try not bag the Honda.

[mjmacky]

For the record, my relationship with pussy as follows:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-7s2PAxsww

[Mr. Mulder]

I don't understand the question. Are we saying he doesn't want to get all up in your toilet parts? :eyebrows:

[mjmacky]

I don't understand the question. Are we saying he doesn't want to get all up in your toilet parts? :eyebrows:

I think she's saying he wants to take it slow, a raincheck on the toiletries.

[Artemis]

I don't understand the question. Are we saying he doesn't want to get all up in your toilet parts? :eyebrows:

I think she's saying he wants to take it slow, a raincheck on the toiletries.

He may be fagnostic, and just trying to discover his 'true' feelings.

[mjmacky]

He may be fagnostic, and just trying to discover his 'true' feelings.

She didn't say she already told him about her penis. Perhaps amorous inklings revealed a bulge and scared off the prey :idunno:

[Barbarossa]

I don't understand the question.

[Squeamous]

I think she's saying he wants to take it slow, a raincheck on the toiletries.He may be fagnostic, and just trying to discover his 'true' feelings.She didn't say she already told him about her penis. Perhaps amorous inklings revealed a bulge and scared off the prey :idunno:


'Fagnostic' :glag:

Is that what he's saying, that he wants to take it slow??! WTF! I don't have sexy with gheys.

PS. I strapped my penis down and got him drunk, he was none the wiser :smilie4:

[Something Else]

He's probably a bit scared of you. More sex, and he'll soon be over it.

[megabyteme]

Usually when I have sexy times with a man he wants to do it again. In this case, the plaintiff, who we shall refer to only as 'R' insists that although he would like to spend more time with me sex is by no means a foregone conclusion. I think it is.

Way to go, Reject! *High five* Who says stalking doesn't pay off?

Now if you could just get past the part of you being the ghey...

[NotLettingItGo]

:glag:

[megabyteme]

And, isn't this more your normal standard for entry, Sq? How did his application get moved to the top of the stack without being qualified? :unsure:

http://movieclips.com/Zf5G-real-genius-movie-a-very-smart-girl/

[manker]

Usually when I have sexy times with a man he wants to do it again. In this case, the plaintiff, who we shall refer to only as 'R' insists that although he would like to spend more time with me sex is by no means a foregone conclusion. I think it is.

Way to go, Reject! *High five* Who says stalking doesn't pay off?

Now if you could just get past the part of you being the ghey...:lol:
It all makes perfect sense now.

[manker]

In all seriousness, Squeams, you're obviously doing it wrong in some way.

Maybe you're only partly to blame but if you've chosen some old guy, a homosexual or a hippy, then of course they're not going to want sex very much.
If your target is none of those things, then you have a problem and I think I can help.

You're hungry and your mother gives you a cake. You eat one and although you're still hungry, you don't accept a second.
Given that you wouldn't want to offend your mam and you have a physical need for cake, it can only be because the cake sucked.

So you're doing sex wrong. At least from a guy's perspective.
zomg i'm a guy!1 You can re-create the scene with, um, a mannequin or a teddy or something else - and we'll get to the bottom of this connundrum via the gift of skype :eyebrows:



That scene with Seven and Harry in this context was pretty damn awesome, btw :happy:

[NotLettingItGo]

:lol:
It all makes perfect sense now.

I'm glad it does too you, I get more confused every time I come here.

I'm apparently a ghey lesbian misognistic stalker paedophile with a superiority complex, I do wish you fuckers would make your mind up. I'm starting to struggle to fill all of these roles at the same time. See the misogynist one I can manage, and I can cope with the superiority complex that you've all added on top of that, but now I'm confused because you've got me stalking a woman I don't talk too, and I can't quite figure out why a misogynist with a superiority complex would stalk a woman who he would obviously consider inferior. Stalker or misogynist with a supiority complex? Also if I'm ghey as well as a paedophile, what interest is it that I have in women? Now if I was a lesbian you might have something, but I think I might be missing some vital parts to be a lesbian.

You're all fucking incredible. Keep flailing around trying to figure me out it's entertaining me :lol:

[manker]

:lol:
It all makes perfect sense now.

I'm glad it does too you, I get more confused every time I come here.

I'm apparently a ghey lesbian misognistic stalker paedophile with a superiority complex, I do wish you fuckers would make your mind up. I'm starting to struggle to fill all of these roles at the same time. See the misogynist one I can manage, and I can cope with the superiority complex that you've all added on top of that, but now I'm confused because you've got me stalking a woman I don't talk too, and I can't quite figure out why a misogynist with a superiority complex would stalk a woman who he would obviously consider inferior. Stalker or misogynist with a supiority complex? Also if I'm ghey as well as a paedophile, what interest is it that I have in women? Now if I was a lesbian you might have something, but I think I might be missing some vital parts to be a lesbian.

You're all fucking incredible. Keep flailing around trying to figure me out it's entertaining me :lol:You're just adding everything that's ever been said about you into a gigantic word brick.

I'll summarise:
You're a decent kind of a chap who had a thing for a chick who posts here but got hurt and that exacerbated your general disillusionment with humans - and you like to fuck around with hyperbole on the internets.
Oh, and your tenuous grip on grammar enabled me to 'prove' that you're ghey in that other thread :ghey:

[NotLettingItGo]

You're just adding everything that's ever been said about you into a gigantic word brick.

I'll summarise:
You're a decent kind of a chap who had a thing for a chick who posts here but got hurt and that exacerbated your general disillusionment with humans - and you like to fuck around with hyperbole on the internets.
Oh, and your tenuous grip on grammar enabled me to 'prove' that you're ghey in that other thread :ghey:

Nope! Try again.

[manker]

Nope! Try again. Willdo, chief.
Just as soon as I've finished watching the 5th series of Friends and lobbying for a ban on lesbian porn.

[NotLettingItGo]

So is that it then? An end to the pollution of every thread with random guesses about who I am, cause it's just getting entertaining.

[manker]

I've already nailed it.
Sorry that my analysis doesn't quite match up to your self-perception but the truth is regularly more mundane than fiction.

[Squeamous]

He's probably a bit scared of you. More sex, and he'll soon be over it.

Thanks lovely, I knew you would make it all better. I'll just ease him into it with a dab of chloroform behind my ears and Bob's your uncle, he will be mine.


And, isn't this more your normal standard for entry, Sq? How did his application get moved to the top of the stack without being qualified? :unsure:

http://movieclips.com/Zf5G-real-genius-movie-a-very-smart-girl/

Doesn't want to download :(


I've already nailed it.
Sorry that my analysis doesn't quite match up to your self-perception but the truth is regularly more mundane than fiction.

:)


In all seriousness, Squeams, you're obviously doing it wrong in some way.

Maybe you're only partly to blame but if you've chosen some old guy, a homosexual or a hippy, then of course they're not going to want sex very much.
If your target is none of those things, then you have a problem and I think I can help.

You're hungry and your mother gives you a cake. You eat one and although you're still hungry, you don't accept a second.
Given that you wouldn't want to offend your mam and you have a physical need for cake, it can only be because the cake sucked.

So you're doing sex wrong. At least from a guy's perspective.
zomg i'm a guy!1 You can re-create the scene with, um, a mannequin or a teddy or something else - and we'll get to the bottom of this connundrum via the gift of skype :eyebrows:

That scene with Seven and Harry in this context was pretty damn awesome, btw :happy:

Wow, my confidence has plummetted to an all-time low. Not only am I now worried I'm bad in bed, but I'm now worried that you think I'm bad in bed. The fact that you've slipped a sexual advance in there is making me almost as eager to please as the last fat girl in the club at 2am. I'll do anything Manky, ANYTHING:wub::naughty:


NOT!


(that scene isn't really very far from the truth actually :P)

[NotLettingItGo]

I've already nailed it.
Sorry that my analysis doesn't quite match up to your self-perception but the truth is regularly more mundane than fiction.

Really? Where's that post then?

[manker]

Wow, my confidence has plummetted to an all-time low. Not only am I now worried I'm bad in bed, but I'm now worried that you think I'm bad in bed. The fact that you've slipped a sexual advance in there is making me almost as eager to please as the last fat girl in the club at 2am. I'll do anything Manky, ANYTHING:wub::naughty:


NOT!

Damn your spoiler. Damn it to hell.
I was so sure my (completely altruistic) plan would work - and then you splayed its inner workings for all to see, like some kind of frog in a lab.

You know, you're kinda funny for a girl. Maybe you could try and tell some jokes about aids or jews. Guys like that kinda thing :idunno:
Failing that, do the Jeri Ryan Santa outfit. There isn't a guy alive who wouldn't baste you on the xmas dinner table in front of the entire family if you walked into the room dressed like that.

[NotLettingItGo]

I'm going to assume you mean this (what with it being your last guess) when you talk about 'already nailing it'


I'll summarise:
You're a decent kind of a chap who had a thing for a chick who posts here but got hurt and that exacerbated your general disillusionment with humans - and you like to fuck around with hyperbole on the internets.


But that went wrong inside the first seven words, I am not a decent chap, I might once have been, but I'm not anymore. I've been saying that for months now, so I'd have thought you might have got it by now.
I never 'had a thing' for any 'chick' who posts here, in fact I can state in truth that I've never known any chick who posts here.
I did have what I was deceived into believing was a friendship with a woman who reads this board, but it turned out she was a lying maniplulative piece of trash, who was never my friend, as she proved beyond any shadow of a doubt, so yes she did exacerbate my disillusion with humans.

So it looks like you haven't nailed fuck all.

[Biggles]

Wow, my confidence has plummetted to an all-time low. Not only am I now worried I'm bad in bed, but I'm now worried that you think I'm bad in bed. The fact that you've slipped a sexual advance in there is making me almost as eager to please as the last fat girl in the club at 2am. I'll do anything Manky, ANYTHING:wub::naughty:


NOT!

Damn your spoiler. Damn it to hell.
I was so sure my (completely altruistic) plan would work - and then you splayed its inner workings for all to see, like some kind of frog in a lab.

You know, you're kinda funny for a girl. Maybe you could try and tell some jokes about aids or jews. Guys like that kinda thing :idunno:
Failing that, do the Jeri Ryan Santa outfit. There isn't a guy alive who wouldn't baste you on the xmas dinner table in front of the entire family if you walked into the room dressed like that.

I think this is your opportunity to dress up as Jean Luc and say "make it so"

:naughty:

[Biggles]

Usually when I have sexy times with a man he wants to do it again. In this case, the plaintiff, who we shall refer to only as 'R' insists that although he would like to spend more time with me sex is by no means a foregone conclusion. I think it is. Obviously I could just rape him like I normally do, but I would really like to try consensual sex for once in my life. Since the feted occasion of our coupling I have been trying to show an interest in his shit and sending him Youtube clips of the Borg and Dominion wars (Star Trek franchise) in an attempt to inflame his ardour. To be honest I'm almost out of ideas. We have arranged a Star Trek DVD fest at his place over the Xmas period. Would it be too much to turn up as Jeri Ryan in a Santa outfit? Obviously I want to avoid this sort of thing happening:



:eyebrows:

Without necessarily being overly specific what did you do to him the first time round? :unsure:

[manker]

So it looks like you haven't nailed fuck all.smh

[manker]

Damn your spoiler. Damn it to hell.
I was so sure my (completely altruistic) plan would work - and then you splayed its inner workings for all to see, like some kind of frog in a lab.

You know, you're kinda funny for a girl. Maybe you could try and tell some jokes about aids or jews. Guys like that kinda thing :idunno:
Failing that, do the Jeri Ryan Santa outfit. There isn't a guy alive who wouldn't baste you on the xmas dinner table in front of the entire family if you walked into the room dressed like that.

I think this is your opportunity to dress up as Jean Luc and say "make it so"

:naughty:I'd go the whole hog; shave my head and dress in a leotard for the faintest glimmer of hint of a chance for that kind of RP action :naughty:

[NotLettingItGo]

smh

Nope, there's no hate either.

[manker]

smh

Nope, there's no hate either.Shaking my head.
I just can't ignore a double negative. It makes a Brit sound chavvy and an American sound stoopid.

You'll notice that people who have learned English as a second language never commit this foul crime.
It's because they have a better grasp on grammar, like, innit.

[NotLettingItGo]

I read it as "so much hate".

So what is there to shake your head about?

And your opinion of my grammar is supposed to mean what to me?

[manker]

I read it as "so much hate".
Yeah, I got that :eyebrows:

So what is there to shake your head about?
The double negative. Was I unclear.

And your opinion of my grammar is supposed to mean what to me?
My post was about me. Me. ME. What my opinion means to you is your own prerogative.
..

[NotLettingItGo]

Ooo has the penny finally dropped?

[manker]

Ooo has the penny finally dropped?I've always known that what a person makes of a proffered opinion is up to them.
I think most people know this.

In fact, I'd go so far as to say it's blindingly obvious.

[NotLettingItGo]

I can only suggest you shouldn't state your proffered opinions are fact by making statements about how you've nailed something, it's fairly easy to cause offence by making such statements. As you've done here.

[manker]

I can only suggest you shouldn't state your proffered opinions are fact by making statements about how you've nailed something,
Even if you use pertinent words, you still have to put them in the correct order, young man.

it's fairly easy to cause offence by making such statements.
On the contrary, it's virtually impossible - unless you're talking to a pooflord.

As you've done here.
bwahahaha..

[NotLettingItGo]

I can only suggest you shouldn't state your proffered opinions are fact by making statements about how you've nailed something,
Even if you use pertinent words, you still have to put them in the correct order, young man.
The order of my words is eactly what I want it to be, and clearly conveys what I'm saying, thanks.

it's fairly easy to cause offence by making such statements.
On the contrary, it's virtually impossible - unless you're talking to a pooflord.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll add that to the list.

As you've done here.
bwahahaha
And that speaks volumes about you...

[Quarterquack]

I can only suggest you shouldn't state your proffered opinions are fact by making statements about how you've nailed something,
Even if you use pertinent words, you still have to put them in the correct order, young man.
The order of my words is eactly what I want it to be, and clearly conveys what I'm saying, thanks.
Pretty colors

it's fairly easy to cause offence by making such statements.
On the contrary, it's virtually impossible - unless you're talking to a pooflord.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll add that to the list.
Pretty colors

As you've done here.
bwahahaha
And that speaks volumes about you.
Pretty colors..

The lounge clearly needs more gay.

[manker]

Honestly. What is this 'taking offence' that I hear so much of. Is it a real thing or a made up politically correct way to respond when, for example, someone says that a lot of Africans have aids.
I've never had occasion, ever, to be offended.
The whole concept seems effete. You can imagine someone clutching their hands to their chest, wearing a pained expression, eyebrows knitted together while uttering in a high voice; 'I'm so offended by that'.

Sure, I've been annoyed by someone's opinion. I've been displeased or even hurt by words from the mouth of someone I give a fuck about.
But offended, no.

They either had a good reason for saying it or they're an idiot. Either way, I don't think they have a responsibility to ensure that I'll be okay with what they say before they say it because the whole concept of taking offence, especially while speaking to a wide audience, implies that an orator should bear in mind that someone within earshot may disagree with his or her words and that may cause some kind of emotional discomfort.

I would suggest that people who have previously described themselves as offended need to man the fuck up.

[manker]

..

The lounge clearly needs more gay.And *poof* you appeared.

[NotLettingItGo]

bwahahaha

I have no idea why I'm going to do this, but I'll explain it to you.

For 44 years I have lived according to the definitions of others, I was a decent chap, I conformed and behaved as a decent chap does. That stupid cunt was murdered, by a long line of events culminating in the discovery that he had been used by someone who swore she would never treat him that way. I buried him.

No one defines what I am, except me. I may choose to behave decently towards one person, and treat others with complete and utter contempt purely based upon my own whims. I have only to satisfy my own feelings and thoughts, just as so many others have done to me. So I'm afraid I find your defining me as a kind of decent chap, quite offensive. You don't get to define me to this board or its members.

[manker]

bwahahaha

I have no idea why I'm going to do this, but I'll explain it to you.

For 44 years I have lived according to the definitions of others, I was a decent chap, I conformed and behaved as a decent chap does. That stupid cunt was murdered, by a long line of events culminating in the discovery that he had been used by someone who swore she would never treat him that way. I buried him.

No one defines what I am, except me. I may choose to behave decently towards one person, and treat others with complete and utter contempt purely based upon my own whims. I have only to satisfy my own feelings and thoughts, just as so many others have done to me. So I'm afraid I find your defining me as a kind of decent chap, quite offensive. You don't get to define me to this board or its members.Dewd, you asked me, specifically, to do it. And previous to that you asked everyone to do it.
And that's just in this thread.

Btw, I defined you and I nailed it.
You're just upset because I'm right and it sounds kinda boring instead of angst-ridden and edgy.

[NotLettingItGo]

Dewd, you asked me, specifically, to do it. And previous to that you asked everyone to do it.
And that's just in this thread.

Yeah I know I opened it up, and the original post you made about me being a decent boring chap wasn't the problem, it's the assertion that your opinion is fact. That you've nailed me. You haven't nailed me at all, I responded to your original post stating that.


Btw, I defined you and I nailed it.
You're just upset because I'm right and it sounds kinda boring instead of angst-ridden and edgy.

Not at all, after months of being accused of being a misogynistic cunt who's stalking someone here, I could easily have taken the releative peace and quite of the way out you defined for me. It could easily have ended this constant round of "drag up the woman who hurt him whenever we can". All I had to do was agree.

As for whether I'm boring, instead of angst-ridden and edgy, you're entitled to your opinion. Especially because the bloke I am with you, is not the bloke I am to others here. Just please don't try presenting that as the fact of who I am, because it's not who I am to everyone.

In fact I am going to a meeting with my manager tomorrow to discuss what a cunt I am, after I wrote an email giving one of our customers a good verbal kicking today. I might stop off for a nice pub lunch on the way or I might go early, and stop off on the way back. It's entirely upto me how I behave, towards people, and towards those responsibilities that I've pissed so much of my life away on.

[manker]

So you're compartmentalising people now.
Isn't that like some heinous crime that 'she' did.
protip; we all do it.

Anyway. The reason I present you as a decent chap is because of a few things you wrote.
For example you said that you still lived where you did out of concern for your children and that you would never hit a burd. Both things entirely indicative of being a decent spud. In related news I say that you're a big sparkly cupcake panda because you believe in love and can't turn your positive feelings off for someone you, ostensibly, despise.

So I choose to see the good in people instead of focusing on their manifold of spastic tendencies.
Don't be offended :console:

[mjmacky]

Every fucking thread with this. Here we got squeamous purring with her throbbing box halfway out, yet we still get this spill over conversation? Reject is like the new... wait who was it before... oh reject.

[NotLettingItGo]

So you're compartmentalising people now.
Isn't that like some heinous crime that 'she' did.
protip; we all do it.

Anyway. The reason I present you as a decent chap is because of a few things you wrote.
For example you said that you still lived where you did out of concern for your children and that you would never hit a burd. Both things entirely indicative of being a decent spud. In related news I say that you're a big sparkly cupcake panda because you believe in love and can't turn your positive feelings off for someone you, ostensibly, despise.

So I choose to see the good in people instead of focusing on their manifold of spastic tendencies.
Don't be offended :console:

Making me only as decent as her, and believe me what she did to me isn't anything like decent by anybodies standard. So I'm right about me no longer being a decent chap :)

You're wrong about me despising her, there would be no point. See if she'd given any kind of fuck about anything I thought or felt then she wouldn't have treated me as she did. Simples really.

[NotLettingItGo]

Every fucking thread with this. Here we got squeamous purring with her throbbing box halfway out, yet we still get this spill over conversation? Reject is like the new... wait who was it before... oh reject.

Yes, I'll be honest the infamy is getting to be rather a drag. I should complain to MBM if I were you, he does insist on dragging me into threads I have absolutely no reason or wish to participate in.

[manker]

Every fucking thread with this. Here we got squeamous purring with her throbbing box halfway out, yet we still get this spill over conversation? Reject is like the new... wait who was it before... oh reject.stfu or i'll try to fix you instead.

[NotLettingItGo]

stfu or i'll try to fix you instead.

:glag:

I bet he'd turn you into a raving lunatic first.

[manker]

stfu or i'll try to fix you instead.

:glag:

I bet he'd turn you into a raving lunatic first.idk about that but he beat the shit out of me when I tried to touch his ear ... .

[megabyteme]

Yeah I know I opened it up, and the original post you made about me being a decent boring chap wasn't the problem, it's the assertion that your opinion is fact. That you've nailed me. You haven't nailed me at all, I responded to your original post stating that.


Btw, I defined you and I nailed it.
You're just upset because I'm right and it sounds kinda boring instead of angst-ridden and edgy.

You've been a cunt-abee ever since Chalice harshed you the first time here. Everyone knows you are just a big, soft, lesbian-cream puff-koala.

Now it sounds like you have decided to try this persona on IRL. Please let us know how that works out for you. :)

[chalice]

You've been a cunt-abee ever since Chalice harshed you the first time here.

Contrary to form, being an equal-opportunities cunt and a random, arbitrary bastard at the best of times, I actually had a reason to harsh him in the first instance.

I didn't engage him until he started a thread calling a mod a 'fucking retarded prick' for simply doing his (voluntary) job. I'm not complaining. It worked out wonderfully, and it keeps getting better. But it wasn't for nothing. :smilie4:

[NotLettingItGo]

...
Now it sounds like you have decided to try this persona on IRL. Please let us know how that works out for you. :)

Don't you go worrying your pretty little head about me MBM, I'll be just fine. I suspect this meeting is as much to do with the fact that my manager is aware that I have head hunters after me, as it is to do with any email I wrote.

[chalice]

...
Now it sounds like you have decided to try this persona on IRL. Please let us know how that works out for you. :)

Don't you go worrying your pretty little head about me MBM, I'll be just fine. I suspect this meeting is as much to do with the fact that my manager is aware that I have head hunters after me, as it is to do with any email I wrote.

Gee, you must be really good at giving blowjobs. Even your manager wants a go.

[megabyteme]

I suspect this meeting is as much to do with the fact that my manager is aware that I have head hunters after me, as it is to do with any email I wrote.

http://i41.tinypic.com/33eoq3b.jpg

Now you've gone paranoid on us. :wacko:

[manker]

Usually when I have sexy times with a man he wants to do it again. In this case, the plaintiff, who we shall refer to only as 'R' insists that although he would like to spend more time with me sex is by no means a foregone conclusion. I think it is. Obviously I could just rape him like I normally do, but I would really like to try consensual sex for once in my life. Since the feted occasion of our coupling I have been trying to show an interest in his shit and sending him Youtube clips of the Borg and Dominion wars (Star Trek franchise) in an attempt to inflame his ardour. To be honest I'm almost out of ideas. We have arranged a Star Trek DVD fest at his place over the Xmas period. Would it be too much to turn up as Jeri Ryan in a Santa outfit? Obviously I want to avoid this sort of thing happening:



:eyebrows:

Without necessarily being overly specific what did you do to him the first time round? :unsure:Ffs, Squeams. Les is wanting something to put in the wank bank.
The only reason I've been posting here is to keep the thread at the top so I can revel vicariously in your answer.

Details. We must have them.

hai, btw :wave:

[Biggles]

Without necessarily being overly specific what did you do to him the first time round? :unsure:Ffs, Squeams. Les is wanting something to put in the wank bank.
The only reason I've been posting here is to keep the thread at the top so I can revel vicariously in your answer.

Details. We must have them.

hai, btw :wave:

I suppose I could make do with the pic MBT just posted ... that is pretty orsum :unsure:

[Squeamous]

Usually when I have sexy times with a man he wants to do it again. In this case, the plaintiff, who we shall refer to only as 'R' insists that although he would like to spend more time with me sex is by no means a foregone conclusion. I think it is. Obviously I could just rape him like I normally do, but I would really like to try consensual sex for once in my life. Since the feted occasion of our coupling I have been trying to show an interest in his shit and sending him Youtube clips of the Borg and Dominion wars (Star Trek franchise) in an attempt to inflame his ardour. To be honest I'm almost out of ideas. We have arranged a Star Trek DVD fest at his place over the Xmas period. Would it be too much to turn up as Jeri Ryan in a Santa outfit? Obviously I want to avoid this sort of thing happening:

:eyebrows:

Without necessarily being overly specific what did you do to him the first time round? :unsure:

You're hamstringing me before I even get out of the gate, Meths x


Ffs, Squeams. Les is wanting something to put in the wank bank.
The only reason I've been posting here is to keep the thread at the top so I can revel vicariously in your answer.

Details. We must have them.

Sorry, I came as fast as I could. I was busy lolling on Facebook, and then lolling some more at the last few pages. Also trying to sort out all these quotes while they distorted like a bag of shit.
I'm afraid Les doesn't want any gory details; my hands are tied.


Damn your spoiler. Damn it to hell.
I was so sure my (completely altruistic) plan would work - and then you splayed its inner workings for all to see, like some kind of frog in a lab.

You know, you're kinda funny for a girl. Maybe you could try and tell some jokes about aids or jews. Guys like that kinda thing :idunno:
Failing that, do the Jeri Ryan Santa outfit. There isn't a guy alive who wouldn't baste you on the xmas dinner table in front of the entire family if you walked into the room dressed like that.

Are you kidding me? That works with MOST of them, but this isn't just any old guy, this is a Marks and Spencer guy. He's dead classy and everything. We went to a classical music concert in a church and he didn't fart or look bored once. Plus he doesn't like British comedy so my charms are largely lost on him. If only he was more like you lot my life would be a lot easier, and so would he.
I don't think I'm going to go for the Jeri Ryan costume, I think it would be frowned upon most strongly. I think I shall just tiptoe about like a sexual ninja and get laid somewhere else until he comes around to the idea in his own time :happy:

[chalice]

By your description, Squeams, he reads like an absolute wank-the-chickens.

Why do you want him?

[Squeamous]

By your description, Squeams, he reads like an absolute wank-the-chickens.

Why do you want him?

Massive Star Trek fan :happy:
God I hope he never reads any of this......

[chalice]

By your description, Squeams, he reads like an absolute wank-the-chickens.

Why do you want him?

Massive Star Trek fan :happy:
God I hope he never reads any of this......

Hey, I like Star Trek, but I wouldn't fuck a ferengi.

Study the rules of acquisition or something. Chances are someone has already done that joke in this thread so fuck that.

[manker]

Are you kidding me? That works with MOST of them, but this isn't just any old guy, this is a Marks and Spencer guy. He's dead classy and everything. We went to a classical music concert in a church and he didn't fart or look bored once. Plus he doesn't like British comedy so my charms are largely lost on him. If only he was more like you lot my life would be a lot easier, and so would he.
I don't think I'm going to go for the Jeri Ryan costume, I think it would be frowned upon most strongly. I think I shall just tiptoe about like a sexual ninja and get laid somewhere else until he comes around to the idea in his own time :happy:
Yeah, you keep that costume for when I'm up in Londinium on a stag weekend in the new year :smilie4:

Usually I find myself raising a judgmental eyebrow at people who rail; 'LOL UR BF IS GAY' when a girl on a male dominated message board waxes lyrical about some guy in her life. But I also find myself wondering if he's good with colours or if he was a little too light on his feet when he whisked you away to the classical music concert in a fecking church.

Then again, he might just be middle aged. My Dad shops in M&S, takes my mam to musicals and tells me that everything I like on telly is shite - and I'm pretty sure he isn't after bumsecks. Hopefully :unsure:

[manker]

Oh, he likes Star Trek.
Disregard my earlier post. He's obviously got his head screwed on :smilie4:

[Squeamous]

Massive Star Trek fan :happy:
God I hope he never reads any of this......

Hey, I like Star Trek, but I wouldn't fuck a ferengi.

Study the rules of acquisition or something. Chances are someone has already done that joke in this thread so fuck that.



Are you kidding me? That works with MOST of them, but this isn't just any old guy, this is a Marks and Spencer guy. He's dead classy and everything. We went to a classical music concert in a church and he didn't fart or look bored once. Plus he doesn't like British comedy so my charms are largely lost on him. If only he was more like you lot my life would be a lot easier, and so would he.
I don't think I'm going to go for the Jeri Ryan costume, I think it would be frowned upon most strongly. I think I shall just tiptoe about like a sexual ninja and get laid somewhere else until he comes around to the idea in his own time :happy:
Yeah, you keep that costume for when I'm up in Londinium on a stag weekend in the new year :smilie4:

Usually I find myself raising a judgmental eyebrow at people who rail; 'LOL UR BF IS GAY' when a girl on a male dominated message board waxes lyrical about some guy in her life. But I also find myself wondering if he's good with colours or if he was a little too light on his feet when he whisked you away to the classical music concert in a fecking church.

Then again, he might just be middle aged. My Dad shops in M&S, takes my mam to musicals and tells me that everything I like on telly is shite - and I'm pretty sure he isn't after bumsecks. Hopefully :unsure:

No, he came with me to the concert because I wanted someone to go with.
Actually I'm starting to recall some advice I gave him about how to play hard to get with women...and......ah, shit :(

Oh, and if your dad hasn't bumsexed you by now he probably never will. That ship has sailed I'm afraid. But there's always your children? :console:

[manker]

Like fuck.
My dad will have to get in line if he wants to bumsecks my children.

[manker]

Ffs, Squeams. Les is wanting something to put in the wank bank.
The only reason I've been posting here is to keep the thread at the top so I can revel vicariously in your answer.

Details. We must have them.

Sorry, I came as fast as I could. I was busy lolling on Facebook, and then lolling some more at the last few pages. Also trying to sort out all these quotes while they distorted like a bag of shit.
I'm afraid Les doesn't want any gory details; my hands are tied.Jebus, no wonder you aren't getting any cawk. The details, he wants them gory.

Les said without necessarily being overly specific. That's bloke speak for; 'I'm putting a caveat in there so you don't have a period fit on me for being rude'.

[chalice]

My dad made me promise that after he died, I'd make sure to deposit his ashes up the sphincters of each and every one of my children on a weekly basis.

Glod rest his soul.

[manker]

My dad made me promise that after he died, I'd make sure to deposit his ashes up the sphincters of each and every one of my children on a weekly basis.

Glod rest his soul.:glag:
I think I may have just pished myself.

[Squeamous]

Jebus, no wonder you aren't getting any cawk. The details, he wants them gory.

Les said without necessarily being overly specific. That's bloke speak for; 'I'm putting a caveat in there so you don't have a period fit on me for being rude'.

But he doesn't have to do that with me, I have never knowingly been offended.
Anyway, you know what Les is like. He could ask me to do the most degrading things previously thought humanly impossible and I would just think he was being a lovely sweet old thing with a minor pecadillo.


My dad made me promise that after he died, I'd make sure to deposit his ashes up the sphincters of each and every one of my children on a weekly basis.

Glod rest his soul.
You're a good son. He would have been proud x

[manker]

Anyway, you know what Les is like. He could ask me to do the most degrading things previously thought humanly impossible and I would just think he was being a lovely sweet old thing with a minor pecadillo.I think that's the key to his success with wiminz, that silver tongued Scotch fox.


I have never knowingly been offended.94521

[Artemis]

My dad made me promise that after he died, I'd make sure to deposit his ashes up the sphincters of each and every one of my children on a weekly basis.

Glod rest his soul.

Was your dad immensely fat by any chance ? :blink:

[Artemis]

Actually, while we are on the subject, it seems that Glod has forsaken us.....

[megabyteme]

I prefer to think that Glod is just watching us from a distance...

[Squeamous]

94521

WTF? :glag:

[manker]

94546

WTF? :glag:It was late. No combination of smiles or words would convey 'But you're a girl, they're always getting offended about stuff, but on the off-chance it's true, and given half a chance, i'm sure i could remedy that. Also, I posted a soliloquy 24 hours ago to the effect that I had never been offended. We appear to be of the same mind. Please prime your back-doors for being smashed in over pina-coladas.'

All that flashed thro' my mind when I read that one line. So I took a pic of my face at the exact time I was thinking it and posted that instead of words.

[mjmacky]

94548

[Squeamous]

WTF? :glag:It was late. No combination of smiles or words would convey 'But you're a girl, they're always getting offended about stuff, but on the off-chance it's true, and given half a chance, i'm sure i could remedy that. Also, I posted a soliloquy 24 hours ago to the effect that I had never been offended. We appear to be of the same mind. Please prime your back-doors for being smashed in over pina-coladas.'

All that flashed thro' my mind when I read that one line. So I took a pic of my face at the exact time I was thinking it and posted that instead of words.

I thought it was probably intended to convey that sentiment, but never in my wildest dreams could I have hoped it contained intent to back-door smash :smilie4:.
I read your soliloquy and wholeheartedly agreed with it. I just fucked up the quotes and gave up trying to reply to it. Don't suppose you remember the Brasseye paedophile spoof? I was about 17 when I watched it and I think it broke me. I've tried everything to try to be offended ever since, even alternating Frankie Boyle and South Park for several hours Clockwork Orange style. It's no use though. If you can't be offended by that Brasseye doc you will never be offended by anything, ever.

[Proper Bo]

paedogeddon, ftw.
"paedophiles have more genes in common with crabs than they do with you and me. Now that is scientific fact, there's no real evidence for it, but it is scientific fact"

[mjmacky]

paedogeddon, ftw.
"paedophiles have more genes in common with crabs than they do with you and me. Now that is scientific fact, there's no real evidence for it, but it is scientific fact"

Does this have anything to do with children getting lice?

[Squeamous]

94559

I have received a text!!!

[manker]

It was late. No combination of smiles or words would convey 'But you're a girl, they're always getting offended about stuff, but on the off-chance it's true, and given half a chance, i'm sure i could remedy that. Also, I posted a soliloquy 24 hours ago to the effect that I had never been offended. We appear to be of the same mind. Please prime your back-doors for being smashed in over pina-coladas.'

All that flashed thro' my mind when I read that one line. So I took a pic of my face at the exact time I was thinking it and posted that instead of words.

I thought it was probably intended to convey that sentiment, but never in my wildest dreams could I have hoped it contained intent to back-door smash :smilie4:.
I read your soliloquy and wholeheartedly agreed with it. I just fucked up the quotes and gave up trying to reply to it. Don't suppose you remember the Brasseye paedophile spoof? I was about 17 when I watched it and I think it broke me. I've tried everything to try to be offended ever since, even alternating Frankie Boyle and South Park for several hours Clockwork Orange style. It's no use though. If you can't be offended by that Brasseye doc you will never be offended by anything, ever.Yeah, I've got a copy of it now on this PC.
I remember having conversations at the time with people who were convinced it was real. Even after reciting lines to them like 'Internet paedophiles make your kids smell like hammers'. Possibly the greatest TV moment evar.

Altho' I don't recall being close to shocked or anything. I just found it really really funny. I must have been broken previously by something else.
<inb4 'your dad lol'>


So what did it say in your text? :happy:

[Squeamous]

Yeah, I've got a copy of it now on this PC.
I remember having conversations at the time with people who were convinced it was real. Even after reciting lines to them like 'Internet paedophiles make your kids smell like hammers'. Possibly the greatest TV moment evar.

Altho' I don't recall being close to shocked or anything. I just found it really really funny. I must have been broken previously by something else.
<inb4 'your dad lol'>


So what did it say in your text? :happy:

Yeah I remember not being sure of it. I knew it was a joke but I had to have a think about whether I thought it was offensive. Wrote one of my A-level essays on it in the end. Trouble is, if you've ever listened to Jeremy Vine on BBC radio 2 at lunchtimes you can see exactly why people weren't sure if it was real or not.

Oh yeah....text said he wants to meet up. In a public place, but never mind :ermm:

[manker]

Radio 2 at lunchtime :lol:
You English people know how to live, I'm usually looking for some new porn about then for the obligatory five o'clock onanism.
hmmz, i wrote that as a throw-away jocular remark - but it's been true at least once this week :eyebrows:

I spose you have two choices now with the M&S Star Trek dewd. Either an all out 'come on, let's fuck' statement, or the complete opposite where you play even harder to get than he is and even look mildly disgusted when you guise talk about sex. With the latter choice, he will begin to panic if he thinks his plan isn't working and whisk you off to a dirty latrine for fingering.
If he is indeed human, that is :smilie4:

[Squeamous]

Radio 2 at lunchtime :lol:
You English people know how to live, I'm usually looking for some new porn about then for the obligatory five o'clock onanism.
hmmz, i wrote that as a throw-away jocular remark - but it's been true at least once this week :eyebrows:

I spose you have two choices now with the M&S Star Trek dewd. Either an all out 'come on, let's fuck' statement, or the complete opposite where you play even harder to get than he is and even look mildly disgusted when you guise talk about sex. With the latter choice, he will begin to panic if he thinks his plan isn't working and whisk you off to a dirty latrine for fingering.
If he is indeed human, that is :smilie4:

Some of us work hours dictated by the biological systems we're studying. I don't tend to have my actual lunch break until about 3 :snooty: . Also I share an office so I try to keep the wanking to a minimum.

I think what M&SSTD needs to realise is that games don't work on me. I am a combination of female/sex drive of a man/no shame, therefore I could be being fingered in a dirty latrine every night of the week by a selection of hawt males if I wish. Ambiguities make me nervous however, so I am happy to give up such things for the predictability of a regular arrangement. I work in the public sector for similar reasons. It's really quite simple: he's either a one-off or a repeat offendee, not something in between. I shall explain the rules to him tomorrow :happy:

[manker]

Radio 2 at lunchtime :lol:
You English people know how to live, I'm usually looking for some new porn about then for the obligatory five o'clock onanism.
hmmz, i wrote that as a throw-away jocular remark - but it's been true at least once this week :eyebrows:

I spose you have two choices now with the M&S Star Trek dewd. Either an all out 'come on, let's fuck' statement, or the complete opposite where you play even harder to get than he is and even look mildly disgusted when you guise talk about sex. With the latter choice, he will begin to panic if he thinks his plan isn't working and whisk you off to a dirty latrine for fingering.
If he is indeed human, that is :smilie4:

Some of us work hours dictated by the biological systems we're studying. I don't tend to have my actual lunch break until about 3 :snooty: . Also I share an office so I try to keep the wanking to a minimum.

I think what M&SSTD needs to realise is that games don't work on me. I am a combination of female/sex drive of a man/no shame, therefore I could be being fingered in a dirty latrine every night of the week by a selection of hawt males if I wish. Ambiguities make me nervous however, so I am happy to give up such things for the predictability of a regular arrangement. I work in the public sector for similar reasons. It's really quite simple: he's either a one-off or a repeat offendee, not something in between. I shall explain the rules to him tomorrow :happy:What I like best about this thread is that you started off not wanting to sound like Seven of Nine to M&SSTD. And you've ended up doing an unwitting (i think) parody of what Seven would do if she logged into your account and decided to answer me about her daily routine and plans for tomorrow.
It's absolutely fantastic.

I find myself as eager as a very eager thing to find out what happens tomoro night. Make sure you post here before copulation if it works out or regeneration if it doesn't.

[Squeamous]

What I like best about this thread is that you started off not wanting to sound like Seven of Nine to M&SSTD. And you've ended up doing an unwitting (i think) parody of what Seven would do if she logged into your account and decided to answer me about her daily routine and plans for tomorrow.
It's absolutely fantastic.

I find myself as eager as a very eager thing to find out what happens tomoro night. Make sure you post here before copulation if it works out or regeneration if it doesn't.

Oh it's too late for parody, the first time we were intimate it was the result of me forcing him into a nightclub cage and stealing his spectacles :w00t:.
It's only shopping anyway, during the daytime. However I have cleared my schedule for the evening :smilie4:. I shall keep you posted.

[manker]

At first I was like; ooh, secks in a nightclub cage, how rewd :o

and then; texting you for a shopping date. On a Saturday afternoon when the footie is on.
:no:

I'm getting mixed messages.

[Squeamous]

At first I was like; ooh, secks in a nightclub cage, how rewd :o

and then; texting you for a shopping date. On a Saturday afternoon when the footie is on.
:no:

I'm getting mixed messages.

I don't think he likes football :ghey: ?

[Biggles]

But he doesn't have to do that with me, I have never knowingly been offended.
Anyway, you know what Les is like. He could ask me to do the most degrading things previously thought humanly impossible and I would just think he was being a lovely sweet old thing with a minor pecadillo.



:unsure: I had it on good authority that the thing with the goose fat, candle, gerbil and the riding crop was a old Latvian folk remedy and a perfectly wholesome way to cure bashfulness.

[Artemis]

At first I was like; ooh, secks in a nightclub cage, how rewd :o

and then; texting you for a shopping date. On a Saturday afternoon when the footie is on.
:no:

I'm getting mixed messages.

I don't think he likes football :ghey: ?

He's looking more like a pillowbiter all the time. We need to examine his previously mentioned plus in more depth i.e. the liking Star Trek thing. It isn't the tight uniforms that spin his wheels is it ? Or the fab hairdo's ? You haven't mentioned who his favorite character yet (or even his favorite captain). All telling points indicating just how light in the loafers he is.

[manker]

If it's Wesley Crusher, it's all over, Squeams :no:

[Squeamous]

:unsure: I had it on good authority that the thing with the goose fat, candle, gerbil and the riding crop was a old Latvian folk remedy and a perfectly wholesome way to cure bashfulness.

You've expanded your repertoire somewhat :naughty:




He's looking more like a pillowbiter all the time. We need to examine his previously mentioned plus in more depth i.e. the liking Star Trek thing. It isn't the tight uniforms that spin his wheels is it ? Or the fab hairdo's ? You haven't mentioned who his favorite character yet (or even his favorite captain). All telling points indicating just how light in the loafers he is.


If it's Wesley Crusher, it's all over, Squeams :no:

:lol:

Gosh, isn't that the kind of thing you find out about someone on the fourth or fifth date? However you're in luck, I do know. Picard (obviously) and Garak I think. He does lean precariously towards DS9, but this is good, because his deficiencies are a rich fuel for my cruel nature. Why does he like Star Trek? Because it's awesome of course :rolleyes:

[The Flying Cow]

What did you guys go shopping for? Kinky lingerie?

I've heard of delectable panties people sometimes offer the opposite sex for Valentime's or Halloweem.

[Squeamous]

What did you guys go shopping for? Kinky lingerie?

I've heard of delectable panties people sometimes offer the opposite sex for Valentime's or Halloweem.

Christmas presents! Do they make edible boxers? :ermm:

[The Flying Cow]

Do they make edible boxers? :ermm:

I wouldn't know.

On the flipside, has he succumbed to your advances a second thyme or are you still dancing about on your bare feet doing the ninja ting?

[Squeamous]

Do they make edible boxers? :ermm:

I wouldn't know.

On the flipside, has he succumbed to your advances a second thyme or are you still dancing about on your bare feet doing the ninja ting?

Of coarse he succumbed! :happy:

[manker]

So the whole thing was just a ruse to get you wet and gagging for bumsecks.

I have new found respect for STM&S dewd :smilie4:

[Squeamous]

So the whole thing was just a ruse to get you wet and gagging for bumsecks.

I have new found respect for STM&S dewd :smilie4:

Yes, he wasn't exactly shy about it this time. I have a feeling I've been diddled :ermm:

[manker]

Can you please tell him that manker from the internets said; 'brofist'.

He'll know.

[Barbarossa]

So the whole thing was just a ruse to get you wet and gagging for bumsecks.

I have new found respect for STM&S dewd :smilie4:

Yes, he wasn't exactly shy about it this time. I have a feeling I've been diddled :ermm:

Ahhh, you can't beat a spot of diddling :happy:

[manker]

The Barbster; master stroker of onanistic innuendo.

[Squeamous]

Can you please tell him that manker from the internets said; 'brofist'.

He'll know.

I have shown him this thread. He says to tell you 'brofist' back :unsure:

[manker]

Can you please tell him that manker from the internets said; 'brofist'.

He'll know.

I have shown him this thread. He says to tell you 'brofist' back :unsure:bromantic beginnings :happy:

In related news, wtf are you doing showing real people this board.
They don't understand internets stuff and he'll probably make you stop sending me pics of your bewbs.

If my missus asks me what I'm doing, I tell her I'm looking at schoolgirl hentai. It's just less awkward.

[Barbarossa]

Real people on teh board - It never EVER ends well :no:

[Proper Bo]

Nobody from earl knows about this forum, like. (apart from the wench, obviousment)

I struggled to explain to my ma why some welsh poove sent me a shitload of malrboro lights tho'.

[Barbarossa]

I won an ipod touch from nuts once, and also a book of pictures of things that look like cawks from b3ta.

One was easier to explain than the other :smilie4:

[Proper Bo]

well a book full of cocks was probably expected of you:schnauz:

[Barbarossa]

I had to complete a tie-breaker question...


"I love cock because..."


My answer - "I'm a cunt" :dry:

[Squeamous]

bromantic beginnings :happy:

In related news, wtf are you doing showing real people this board.
They don't understand internets stuff and he'll probably make you stop sending me pics of your bewbs.

If my missus asks me what I'm doing, I tell her I'm looking at schoolgirl hentai. It's just less awkward.

You leave him alone, you know too much! Anyway, he doesn't want to join: he's more of a lurker, hanging around in the periphery quietly waiting for any mention of him and looking through my posting history like a News of the World journalist and trying to throw me off the scent by calling me a bunny boiler (which as I told him is totally impossible because I checked his garden after we first met and I know he doesn't have a bunny).
Perhaps you're right though. With the next one I'll be more circumspect.
Hai Sweety! :wave:


I had to complete a tie-breaker question...


"I love cock because..."


My answer - "I'm a cunt" :dry:

I thought you were an asshole?

[Barbarossa]

That would have worked too, probably

[Squeamous]

That would have worked too, probably

You'll always be both to me :hug:

[Barbarossa]

I am dark, mysterious, and ever-so slightly damp :yes:

[manker]

Nobody from earl knows about this forum, like. (apart from the wench, obviousment)

I struggled to explain to my ma why some welsh poove sent me a shitload of malrboro lights tho'.I'd forgotten about that. I'm like the best internets friend evar - and the first thing you said to me when I came back was 'fucking hell, welshist. you still owe me a turkey t-shirt'

Did you tell her that malcolm was my pet name for you, btw :stuart:

[manker]

You leave him alone, you know too much! Anyway, he doesn't want to join: he's more of a lurker, hanging around in the periphery quietly waiting for any mention of him and looking through my posting history like a News of the World journalist and trying to throw me off the scent by calling me a bunny boiler (which as I told him is totally impossible because I checked his garden after we first met and I know he doesn't have a bunny).
Perhaps you're right though. With the next one I'll be more circumspect.'With the next one' :lol:

You may as well get him to join now, the damage is already done.
He can educate us all in how to lay sex-traps for erudite but unsuspecting professional wiminz. I'm still in awe.


Hai Sweety! :wave:
ohai there, shiny-robot-vixen :blushing:

[Proper Bo]

Nobody from earl knows about this forum, like. (apart from the wench, obviousment)

I struggled to explain to my ma why some welsh poove sent me a shitload of malrboro lights tho'.I'd forgotten about that. I'm like the best internets friend evar - and the first thing you said to me when I came back was 'fucking hell, welshist. you still owe me a turkey t-shirt'

Did you tell her that malcolm was my pet name for you, btw :stuart:

:stuart:

[Squeamous]

'With the next one' :lol:

You may as well get him to join now, the damage is already done.
He can educate us all in how to lay sex-traps for erudite but unsuspecting professional wiminz. I'm still in awe.


Hai Sweety! :wave:
ohai there, shiny-robot-vixen :blushing:

Actually I was aiming that at him. My customary greeting you for you is a sexy handshake behind the nearest skip, remember? :wub:

I still refuse to accept that I was tricked. He seemed so innocent. Tricksy little whore :fist:

*gasp* I've just remembered, he SAID he was on the pill. I'm not ready to be a daddy yet.....!

[manker]

Hai Sweety!

ohai there, shiny-robot-vixen :blushing:

Actually I was aiming that at him. zomg i had no idea :naughty:


My customary greeting you for you is a sexy handshake behind the nearest skip, remember? :wub:

I still refuse to accept that I was tricked. He seemed so innocent. Tricksy little whore :fist:

*gasp* I've just remembered, he SAID he was on the pill. I'm not ready to be a daddy yet.....!That biological clock :no:

Don't worry, we'll devise some secret internet plan to get your revenge.
Expect it to include pegging.

[mjmacky]

Does lurker mean he's not very brights?

[Artemis]

Does lurker mean he's not very brights?

Well since the lurking seems to be a part of the overall ruse to lull poor gullible Squeamous into a false sense of security, before rogering her like a marine on leave, I would say that the lurker was rather bright to carry out said dastardly plan without a hitch.

[Squeamous]

zomg i had no idea :naughty:

That biological clock :no:

Don't worry, we'll devise some secret internet plan to get your revenge.
Expect it to include pegging.

:)

Pegging is already part of my normal sexual repertoire. How about we spitroast him?



Does lurker mean he's not very brights?

Well since the lurking seems to be a part of the overall ruse to lull poor gullible Squeamous into a false sense of security, before rogering her like a marine on leave, I would say that the lurker was rather bright to carry out said dastardly plan without a hitch.

:sneaky: