The Gay Beard Club

[Skweeky]

I hope you are online when I am in Belfast next month - otherwise I miss out on my chance to meet chavis.

[manker]

I hope you are online when I am in Belfast next month - otherwise I miss out on my chance to meet chavis.
Don't worry. I'm quite the benevolent overlord of all your little lives.

I'll make sure I am <3

[Skweeky]

Finally, someone palpable to pray to.

[Squeamous]

And you've probably broken your back falling.....that causes priapisms sometimes :happy:wtf happy face you schadenfreudic sophistress.

What part of 'paralysed man with a boner' am I supposed to find displeasing? :ermm:


I hope you are online when I am in Belfast next month - otherwise I miss out on my chance to meet chavis.

Also I'm intending to go out tomorrow night, so can you be online from around 9pm to 4am? Kthx

[Skweeky]

I am going to mathsjam next Tuesday evening, could you be online then as well?

[manker]

Finally, someone palpable to pray to.
I also accept sacrifices and digitised gifts of a pictoral nature.

[manker]

I hope you are online when I am in Belfast next month - otherwise I miss out on my chance to meet chavis.

Also I'm intending to go out tomorrow night, so can you be online from around 9pm to 4am? Kthx


I am going to mathsjam next Tuesday evening, could you be online then as well?I can't promise but I'll make sure that I get a lesser deity to fill in.

[Skweeky]

Frankly, with the amount of pictoral sacrifices I have made to you I would expect my life to be a whle lot more awesome than it is

[manker]

wtf happy face you schadenfreudic sophistress.

What part of 'paralysed man with a boner' am I supposed to find displeasing? :ermm::glag:
Point taken.

[Squeamous]

Also I'm intending to go out tomorrow night, so can you be online from around 9pm to 4am? Kthx


I am going to mathsjam next Tuesday evening, could you be online then as well?I can't promise but I'll make sure that I get a lesser deity to fill in.

It's a night in for me and Skweeks then :cry:

[manker]

Frankly, with the amount of pictoral sacrifices I have made to you I would expect my life to be a whle lot more awesome than it isI can't help it if you chose to migrate to a particularly cold and heroin infested area of my HD :(

[Squeamous]

:lol: ^

[Skweeky]

I was lured there by a board member if you remember correctly. It was probably a virus :(

[mjmacky]

I thought Mary was going to conjure something up too, if he worked around his shaking hand issues :unsure:

I guess I've just intimidated everyone into covering up... :smilie4:

I have something conjured in my head, but I need a few accessories to pull it off. My Fox hands won't even be an issue.

[megabyteme]

What part of 'paralysed man with a boner' am I supposed to find displeasing?

:dave: <--- Deja vu.

[Artemis]

I thought Mary was going to conjure something up too, if he worked around his shaking hand issues :unsure:

I guess I've just intimidated everyone into covering up... :smilie4:

I have something conjured in my head, but I need a few accessories to pull it off. My Fox hands won't even be an issue.

A macro lens? :idunno:

[brotherdoobie]

I can't believe I'm going to have to explain this, I'd have thought it was obvious from my earlier post.

The only way for me to become a member of your club is for me to post a picture of myself, which would immediately invite certain members of this board to do exactly what they did with the picture that I did post.

So you see what I'm saying... about being sure you could find someone here to endorse your statement... and about why that couldn't possibly be something that I would allow to mean anything to me.You did that 'I know you are but what am I' thing again. It's like talking to a 12 year old who because she's got the latest replica kit, can now join in with the grown-ups when they try to define the synergy which allows Manchester United to be greater than the sum of their individual parts each year.

I simply didn't believe your other statement. I think you actually posted a pic of your hero, Tom, because your own moustache looks like that of a dead pooflord and you thought we'd ridicule that and not let you into the club.

And then you'd cry. Again.


I'm so behind on freds, but I have been reading through them slowly and this made me :glag: out loud irl.

Thanks for that, manker.



-doobs

[manker]

Yet another reason why the Great South Wales Accountant Cull will continue right up until the last one is slain :no:

[brotherdoobie]

My beards a double hard bastard. It rapes razors and fucks the missus for me.


-doobs

[manker]

Post an up-to-date pic of it, dewbs.

Edit: preferably when it's raping someone or something. Or your missus, like.

Edit2: that looks like I'm asking you to post a pic of your missus. Which I wasn't but, you know, if you want to then tidy :happy:

[brotherdoobie]

Will do later, mate.

My beards horny, atm.

bbl ...


-doobs

[manker]

Okay, looking forward to the beard secks.

[clocker]

Sorry, no follicle porn, I did not know that was a thing, actually.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v78/clocker/EK.png

[manker]

That's an unusual harmonica.

Great lived-in beard, though, everyone else looks like they grew it just for this thread.
Nice perm, too.

[clocker]

The hair was recently sacrificed to summer comfort and to avoid a lawsuit from Gallagher.

[manker]

Liam or Noel?

[clocker]

Couldn't ever tell the difference.

[megabyteme]

Sorry, no follicle porn, I did not know that was a thing, actually.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v78/clocker/EK.png

You've got some serious "Mr. White" going for you. Well done!

[clocker]

Considering a name change to "Hindenberg".

[Skweeky]

I think you should consider changing your name to 'The Dude'

[clocker]

I do abide on occasion.

[megabyteme]

Considering a name change to "Hindenberg".

I've seen what you do to Conservatives. The name fits. :devil:

[manker]

So, the clockster owns a grandfather clock :smilie4:

I've always been tentatively curious about the nickname. I had assumed that it was an abbreviation of over-clocker - which is, for those not in the know, what all the cool kids do to their processors.
Then JP or someone said it was because clocker owned a clock shop. I dismissed this out of hand because I'm not even sure that clock shops exist.

But with this new information, perhaps the name is something to do with clockwork machinery rather than that of the wired variety.
I've never asked before because I was fairly sure that clocker would mislead me with a caustic quip.

[clocker]

In the before time I made clocks.
Not the cases, the clock mechanism itself.
From scratch, for the competition clocks you're required to make even the screws.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v78/clocker/clock4.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v78/clocker/clock2.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v78/clocker/clock1.jpg

I come by the name not by whim nor chance but straight description.

[Artemis]

Just once in a while in your life you come across people that make your jaw drop, there have been others, but that is truly stunning clocker, I will never doubt your anal attention to detail in my life again. :blink:

[megabyteme]

Noice doesn't even begin to cover it. :O

[brotherdoobie]

Beautiful work, Clocker,

Beautiful.


-doobs

[brotherdoobie]

I was going to post a pic of my razor raping, missus fucking beard.

But I'm going to wait until my beard grows a beard and then I'm going to post a pic of the mother of all beards.



-doobs

[manker]

I was going to post a pic of my razor raping, missus fucking beard.

But I'm going to wait until my beard grows a beard and then I'm going to post a pic of the mother of all beards.



-doobsSounds particularly manly. hungry bear type manly.
I await while bating my breath.

[manker]

In the before time I made clocks.
Not the cases, the clock mechanism itself.
From scratch, for the competition clocks you're required to make even the screws.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v78/clocker/clock4.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v78/clocker/clock2.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v78/clocker/clock1.jpg

I come by the name not by whim nor chance but straight description.I wasn't expecting that.
I use the word fantastic a lot and hardly ever mean it. But those are fantastic. On a similar theme, I would also like to throw in a heartfelt awesome, too.

You've got magic fingers.

[Skweeky]

That is amazing - I am simply green with envy at this moment. Most of us can only dream of such skills.

[clocker]

Thanks everyone, I'm grateful.
Here are a few more:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v78/clocker/clock3.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v78/clocker/clock6.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v78/clocker/clock5.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v78/clocker/PS1.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v78/clocker/PS2.jpg

Of all of these, the last was the most technically difficult. It was the result of a bet with another clockmaker who didn't think it could be done...a year later I showed it could.
It's still running 12 years later (I know because my brother owns it).

[Skweeky]

I want one :(

[IdolEyes787]

Thanks everyone, I'm grateful.
Here are a few more:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v78/clocker/clock3.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v78/clocker/clock6.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v78/clocker/clock5.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v78/clocker/PS1.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v78/clocker/PS2.jpg

Of all of these, the last was the most technically difficult. It was the result of a bet with another clockmaker who didn't think it could be done...a year later I showed it could.
It's still running 12 years later (I know because my brother owns it).

I could do that.Only reason I don't is because I don't feel like it.

[clocker]

I don't feel like it either.
I stopped a few years ago and went back to computers and cars.

[IdolEyes787]

I like the clocks better ,no offense.
I'm sure that there is art in cars and computers but frankly I don't see it.

[clocker]

There was no money in it.

[Squeamous]

What part of 'paralysed man with a boner' am I supposed to find displeasing?

:dave: <--- Deja vu.

I'm a rapist not a stalker. Get it right :ermm:




I think you should consider changing your name to 'The Dude'

Agreed!

*sigh*
Clocker's one of those men from the before time who could do things and grow a beard.
I think I'm in love :wub:

[clocker]

Ah, if only we'd met when I was young...
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v78/clocker/Youngclocker.jpg

[Squeamous]

Ah, if only we'd met when I was young...
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v78/clocker/Youngclocker.jpg

Then you would have been running after the vacant bimbos :emo:

[clocker]

No, I never ran.

[megabyteme]

Clocker, I don't think I would be alone in my great desire to see some vid(s) of your clocks in motion. I'm sure the movements would add to everyone's awe. Shiny moving objects ftw! :w00t:

[clocker]

All my clocks (18 in total) were commissioned pieces, I don't (and never did) own them.
Basically, I couldn't afford one of my own clocks.

[manker]

I send my paperwork to a much cheaper accountant who probably thinks I'm mental.

That is a true story. I don't want the people who work for me looking at my papers and I'm, like, so over book-keeping.

[megabyteme]

All my clocks (18 in total) were commissioned pieces, I don't (and never did) own them.
Basically, I couldn't afford one of my own clocks.

Yet another injustice in your story.

How accurate were you able to make them? Were they as precise as well as works of art? I'm assuming they were, just curious how finely tuned something like that could be.

[Squeamous]

I send my paperwork to a much cheaper accountant who probably thinks I'm mental.

That is a true story. I don't want the people who work for me looking at my papers and I'm, like, so over book-keeping.

Same here, I get someone else to eat my food for me so I don't have to take a shit :sneaky:

[megabyteme]

I'm a stay@home dad. Trumps you all. :01:

[Squeamous]

Does your partner work? If not you're just unemployed x

[manker]

See. I told you the 'x' is always when you're being all That Womany.

[Squeamous]

:smilie4:

x

[clocker]

How accurate were you able to make them? Were they as precise as well as works of art? I'm assuming they were, just curious how finely tuned something like that could be.
People generally do not understand what makes a clock "accurate".
Even movements specifically built for accuracy and housed in barometrically stabilized (or even vacuum) chambers are not constantly correct to the second...what they strive for is being wrong consistently.
A clock that gains five seconds every day is considered "more accurate" than one which is perfect for 10 days then suddenly loses 10 seconds.

I built a regulator movement for a quite serious collector who installed it (after building a magnificent case) into a climate stable, electronically monitored room. the swinging pendulum broke a lazer beam which allowed for continuous data logging. It was within one second for 40 some days and then spasmodically gained 5-6 seconds. We attributed this to binding in the Harrison gridiron pendulum I'd built.
The second movement I built for him used a single Invar rod and a mercury glass jar bob, I'm not sure how well that one performs.

Of the clocks pictured, the second one is probably the most conventionally "accurate", It's a remontoire movement and will hold to within 5 seconds over the course of it's 30 day run between winding.
The first clock (with the big gear or "great wheel") was later converted to a variation of the Breguet twin pendulum regulator and occasionally has long periods of dead nuts accuracy.

Keep in mind that there are over 2.5 million seconds in a 30 day month, so really, anything better than a few seconds a day is pretty fucking good.

If accuracy interests you, read the story of John Harrison (he, along with Charles Babbage, is a hero of mine), who, more than anyone before, understood what "accuracy" was all about.

I wasn't aware of "injustice in my story"...I just couldn't afford the time required for a build (average about 6-9 months apiece for the show clocks) without having presold the work.
I do have the prototype of the great wheel clock (I wasn't sure I could make a 8" diameter, 360 tooth gear successfully) that does not have all the upgrades of the final piece (the final has titanium gears, full ball bearing pivots and a jeweled half impulse escapement).
It does run although I like it best with no dial or hands, so there's not much point in keeping it wound.

[Squeamous]

Did anyone else moisten slightly reading that? ^ :smilie4:

[clocker]

Does the name Anna! Anna Miller! mean anything to you?

[megabyteme]

In a "just world" people who are capable of creating something beautiful would have the means to keep producing, and be rewarded/compensated/honored well enough to indulge themselves with their own products if they so desired.*

Thank you for taking the time to give me some insight into the mindset/goals of clock making. Fascinating post!

EDIT-
If accuracy interests you, read the story of John Harrison Did some overview reading and found him to be quite interesting.

*I tried to carefully word the above, but I may not have done so perfectly. Mainly it is a wish that the world would bring out the best, and not just the most "financially feasible", mass produced items.

---------------------------------
@Squeams: My wife works very hard. My earlier post joked of taking advantage of the situation, but I really do enjoy taking care of my twins. I do take my "job" seriously. :)

[Squeamous]

Does the name Anna! Anna Miller! mean anything to you?

No :unsure:


@Squeams: My wife works very hard. My earlier post joked of taking advantage of the situation, but I really do enjoy taking care of my twins. I do take my "job" seriously. :)

That's alright then. Carry on!

[Skweeky]

We are digressing though, we've still not seen a picture of manker's peen/balls/lava mount.

[Barbarossa]

Sorry, no follicle porn, I did not know that was a thing, actually.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v78/clocker/EK.png

Fuck me it's Gandalf! :smilie4:

On a side note, amazing time-pieces!

[manker]

I thought more like a ZZ Top dewd.

[Squeamous]

We are digressing though, we've still not seen a picture of manker's peen/balls/lava mount.

I'm starting to think he hasn't got one :ermm:

[manker]

Have :cry:

[manker]

Does the name Anna! Anna Miller! mean anything to you?No :unsure:Me neither :unsure:

[megabyteme]

Goofle's top hits involve some swinger party woman. :idunno:

[manker]

I just had a look around in the forum.
Best I can make out is it's some red handkerchief hanging out of the right hand side back jeans pocket thing that he and j2 have got going on.

[bigboab]

Hope this does not give Clocker palpitations. Here is a pic of the lady in question, around 2003.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v31/bigboab/annaanamiller.jpg

[Artemis]

Damn clocker, I didn't know you were into wrinkly sex! :blink:

[clocker]

Hope this does not give Clocker palpitations. Here is a pic of the lady in question, around 2003.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v31/bigboab/annaanamiller.jpg
Pay no attention, having failed in his duty to find Anna!Anna MIller! (but electing to keep the front money anyway), Boab tried to deflect attention by posting this spurious photo of the angel he couldn't locate.
His perfidy has shielded him for nearly a decade, leaving him free to commit who knows what further scams on the gullible/vulnerable.

[whisper]

121094

[manker]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v31/samsamsamsam/DSC_0451.jpg (http://smg.photobucket.com/user/samsamsamsam/media/DSC_0451.jpg.html)

[Something Else]

Impressive Goatum. A mix of Goat and scrotum.

[Something Else]

172208

[JPaul]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v31/samsamsamsam/DSC_0451.jpg (http://smg.photobucket.com/user/samsamsamsam/media/DSC_0451.jpg.html)

Worst merkin evar.

[megabyteme]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v31/samsamsamsam/DSC_0451.jpg (http://smg.photobucket.com/user/samsamsamsam/media/DSC_0451.jpg.html)

Was uncertain if that needed a NSFW notice. Still not sure... :idunno:

[mjmacky]

Was uncertain if that needed a NSFW notice. Still not sure... :idunno:

Depends on the workplace

[enoughfakefiles]

172279

172277

:o

[manker]

Alright, effy :D
Post your beard or your giant hands.

[enoughfakefiles]

Alright, effy :D
Post your beard or your giant hands.

172280

The stubble looks still in, right:unsure:

[manker]

Yeah. Only hipster twats have beards nowadays.
That pic couldn't be any more Burnley if Sean Dyche was in the background watching telly btw

[enoughfakefiles]

Yeah. Only hipster twats have beards nowadays.
That pic couldn't be any more Burnley if Sean Dyche was in the background watching telly btw

172284

Your right he's everywhere:whistling