Headlines from the year 2029

Headlines from the year 2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world,

Mexifornia formally known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally . scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).

Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. (hey! I just sent it. I didn't write it!)

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

0_o

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Originally Posted by hippychick

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

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:lol: :lol: :lol:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hippychick

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

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Even though most of those were right-wing bullshit, that one kicks ass. :cool: :01:

Yeah gotta agree :cool:

Right wing whaaaaaaaaaaaaat LOL :lol:

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France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

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LMFAO oh man that's hilarious :lol:

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Originally Posted by Arm

Even though most of those were right-wing bullshit, that one kicks ass. :cool: :01:

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Well, that one is right up there with the rest.

I suggest a Ban on hippychick for fact #1 shes a hippy #2 she is not funny

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Originally Posted by ziggyjuarez

I suggest a Ban on hippychick for fact #1 shes a hippy #2 she is not funny

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Ziggy dont like me no muh and wants to ban me :crying: :cry1:
I dont write the jokes I just post em :naughty:
And come to think about I do need a new name. I'm no longer a hippy, hmm any ideas???

resourcefulchick