Help me, I'm turning into a housewife!

I filled in the form they sent me

And the other one they sent back is too complicated to fill in.

I'll need to send it to our accountant.
Bah

95% of private practice accountants would be out of business if 'Self Assessment' did what it said on the tin.

Just don't pay tax, works for me.

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Originally Posted by Mr JP Fugley

Just don't pay tax, works for me.

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Yeah but missus JP pays enough to clothe London's homeless.

scum of the earth

To be fair, they're just ordinary people who are down on their luck a bit. :dabs:

They've probably been sold cheap credit cards over the phone, with a huge interest rate, and had to give up their houses because they couldn't make the repayments :(

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Originally Posted by Barbarossa

To be fair, they're just ordinary people who are down on their luck a bit. :dabs:

They've probably been sold cheap credit cards over the phone, with a huge interest rate, and had to give up their houses because they couldn't make the repayments :(

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:lol:

:lol: :seconded:

:devil:

't was probably me selling them payment protection

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Originally Posted by Skweeky

:devil:

't was probably me selling them payment protection

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That really is taking the pish.

"Now I've sold you the card you obviously won't be able to make the payments. So give us even more money so that someone else will pay them for you." You even try to convince them it's to protect them and not you.

How do you feckin' sleep.

Horlicks

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Originally Posted by manker

Marriage certificate :unsure:

I've never known the IR to ask for a marriage certificate.

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Pretty sure they did when marriage actually conferred tax advantages.

If you are self employed then they will want t'other form completed - which is a bit of sod and you will need all your receipts, telephone bills etc., to claim operating costs.

Of course if you are not self employed then they are just taking the rip :shifty:

It is a while since I have looked at personal taxation - not a big part of the CIMA syllabus either although we did have a laugh at the mad fractions used for goods and chattels and the like :dabs:

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Originally Posted by Biggles

Quote:

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Originally Posted by manker

Marriage certificate :unsure:

I've never known the IR to ask for a marriage certificate.

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Pretty sure they did when marriage actually conferred tax advantages.

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Will you and JP stop talking about the olden days!

MCA was stopped a fair while back - I don't recall it but people are forever asking me if I've claimed it for them :dry:

Back in the day we had purchase tax and stuff.

Stuff was Ok but purchase tax was a cunt.

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Originally Posted by Mr JP Fugley

Back in the day we had purchase tax and stuff.

Stuff was Ok but purchase tax was a cunt.

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Surprised they still haven't caught on to simplifying things and just introduce stuff tax

Was you a poll tax dodger as well?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Biggles

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mr JP Fugley

Back in the day we had purchase tax and stuff.

Stuff was Ok but purchase tax was a cunt.

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Surprised they still haven't caught on to simplifying things and just introduce stuff tax

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Don't even joke about that.

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Originally Posted by Skweeky

Was you a poll tax dodger as well?

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It was a political thing.

So you were?

Ive got a pile of washing up for you to do when you've finished, cheers.

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Originally Posted by Skweeky

So you were?

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My poll tax was all paid I'll have you know young lady.

Really?

Not even a wee demonstration against it.

No angry letter or anything??

Twist one, grab a beer, and switch on Opra and learn something (lol)

In the end, as long as you are happy what does it matter what one has to do to be with the one you love... ?

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Help me, I'm turning into a housewife!

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Don't you regret getting married now? :lol:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skweeky

Really?

Not even a wee demonstration against it.

No angry letter or anything??

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Well I did organise those riots, which was nice.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mr JP Fugley

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skweeky

Really?

Not even a wee demonstration against it.

No angry letter or anything??

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Well I did organise those riots, which was nice.

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Which led to the demise of Margaret Hilda T.

Which was very nice :)

I think he is refering to the recent street fights in Copenhagen..

Distant Huns lyrics

Artist - Jim Reeves

Album - Distant Huns

Lyrics - Distant Huns


I hear the sound of distant huns
Far away, far away
And if they call for me to come
Then I must go and you must stay

So Skweeky marry me, let's not wait
Let's share all the time we can before it's too late
Love me now for now is all the time there may be
If you love me Skweeky, Skweeky marry me

I hear the sound of bugles blow
Far away, far away
And if they call, then I must go
Across the sea, so wild and grey.

So Skweeky marry me, let's not wait
For the distant huns might change our wedding date
And love me now, for now is all the time there may be
If you love me Skweeky, Skweeky marry me

But I'm already married :(

You should have asked me before

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Originally Posted by Skweeky

But I'm already married :(

You should have asked me before

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They always say that ...never mind Gripper, you will just have to join the ranks of those waiting before you ...

Now Skweeky..we are all waiting patiently for the first baby Skweeks :)