What can I do?

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Originally Posted by Darth Rings

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Originally Posted by rejectOfAllah

..

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The lounge clearly needs more gay.

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And *poof* you appeared.

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Originally Posted by manker

bwahahaha

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I have no idea why I'm going to do this, but I'll explain it to you.

For 44 years I have lived according to the definitions of others, I was a decent chap, I conformed and behaved as a decent chap does. That stupid cunt was murdered, by a long line of events culminating in the discovery that he had been used by someone who swore she would never treat him that way. I buried him.

No one defines what I am, except me. I may choose to behave decently towards one person, and treat others with complete and utter contempt purely based upon my own whims. I have only to satisfy my own feelings and thoughts, just as so many others have done to me. So I'm afraid I find your defining me as a kind of decent chap, quite offensive. You don't get to define me to this board or its members.

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Originally Posted by rejectOfAllah

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Originally Posted by manker

bwahahaha

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I have no idea why I'm going to do this, but I'll explain it to you.

For 44 years I have lived according to the definitions of others, I was a decent chap, I conformed and behaved as a decent chap does. That stupid cunt was murdered, by a long line of events culminating in the discovery that he had been used by someone who swore she would never treat him that way. I buried him.

No one defines what I am, except me. I may choose to behave decently towards one person, and treat others with complete and utter contempt purely based upon my own whims. I have only to satisfy my own feelings and thoughts, just as so many others have done to me. So I'm afraid I find your defining me as a kind of decent chap, quite offensive. You don't get to define me to this board or its members.

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Dewd, you asked me, specifically, to do it. And previous to that you asked everyone to do it.
And that's just in this thread.

Btw, I defined you and I nailed it.
You're just upset because I'm right and it sounds kinda boring instead of angst-ridden and edgy.

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Originally Posted by manker

Dewd, you asked me, specifically, to do it. And previous to that you asked everyone to do it.
And that's just in this thread.

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Yeah I know I opened it up, and the original post you made about me being a decent boring chap wasn't the problem, it's the assertion that your opinion is fact. That you've nailed me. You haven't nailed me at all, I responded to your original post stating that.

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Originally Posted by manker

Btw, I defined you and I nailed it.
You're just upset because I'm right and it sounds kinda boring instead of angst-ridden and edgy.

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Not at all, after months of being accused of being a misogynistic cunt who's stalking someone here, I could easily have taken the releative peace and quite of the way out you defined for me. It could easily have ended this constant round of "drag up the woman who hurt him whenever we can". All I had to do was agree.

As for whether I'm boring, instead of angst-ridden and edgy, you're entitled to your opinion. Especially because the bloke I am with you, is not the bloke I am to others here. Just please don't try presenting that as the fact of who I am, because it's not who I am to everyone.

In fact I am going to a meeting with my manager tomorrow to discuss what a cunt I am, after I wrote an email giving one of our customers a good verbal kicking today. I might stop off for a nice pub lunch on the way or I might go early, and stop off on the way back. It's entirely upto me how I behave, towards people, and towards those responsibilities that I've pissed so much of my life away on.

So you're compartmentalising people now.
Isn't that like some heinous crime that 'she' did.
protip; we all do it.

Anyway. The reason I present you as a decent chap is because of a few things you wrote.
For example you said that you still lived where you did out of concern for your children and that you would never hit a burd. Both things entirely indicative of being a decent spud. In related news I say that you're a big sparkly cupcake panda because you believe in love and can't turn your positive feelings off for someone you, ostensibly, despise.

So I choose to see the good in people instead of focusing on their manifold of spastic tendencies.
Don't be offended :console:

Every fucking thread with this. Here we got squeamous purring with her throbbing box halfway out, yet we still get this spill over conversation? Reject is like the new... wait who was it before... oh reject.

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Originally Posted by manker

So you're compartmentalising people now.
Isn't that like some heinous crime that 'she' did.
protip; we all do it.

Anyway. The reason I present you as a decent chap is because of a few things you wrote.
For example you said that you still lived where you did out of concern for your children and that you would never hit a burd. Both things entirely indicative of being a decent spud. In related news I say that you're a big sparkly cupcake panda because you believe in love and can't turn your positive feelings off for someone you, ostensibly, despise.

So I choose to see the good in people instead of focusing on their manifold of spastic tendencies.
Don't be offended :console:

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Making me only as decent as her, and believe me what she did to me isn't anything like decent by anybodies standard. So I'm right about me no longer being a decent chap :)

You're wrong about me despising her, there would be no point. See if she'd given any kind of fuck about anything I thought or felt then she wouldn't have treated me as she did. Simples really.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

Every fucking thread with this. Here we got squeamous purring with her throbbing box halfway out, yet we still get this spill over conversation? Reject is like the new... wait who was it before... oh reject.

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Yes, I'll be honest the infamy is getting to be rather a drag. I should complain to MBM if I were you, he does insist on dragging me into threads I have absolutely no reason or wish to participate in.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

Every fucking thread with this. Here we got squeamous purring with her throbbing box halfway out, yet we still get this spill over conversation? Reject is like the new... wait who was it before... oh reject.

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stfu or i'll try to fix you instead.

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Originally Posted by manker

stfu or i'll try to fix you instead.

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:glag:

I bet he'd turn you into a raving lunatic first.

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Originally Posted by rejectOfAllah

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Originally Posted by manker

stfu or i'll try to fix you instead.

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:glag:

I bet he'd turn you into a raving lunatic first.

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idk about that but he beat the shit out of me when I tried to touch his ear ... .

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Originally Posted by rejectOfAllah

Yeah I know I opened it up, and the original post you made about me being a decent boring chap wasn't the problem, it's the assertion that your opinion is fact. That you've nailed me. You haven't nailed me at all, I responded to your original post stating that.

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Originally Posted by manker

Btw, I defined you and I nailed it.
You're just upset because I'm right and it sounds kinda boring instead of angst-ridden and edgy.

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You've been a cunt-abee ever since Chalice harshed you the first time here. Everyone knows you are just a big, soft, lesbian-cream puff-koala.

Now it sounds like you have decided to try this persona on IRL. Please let us know how that works out for you. :)

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

You've been a cunt-abee ever since Chalice harshed you the first time here.

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Contrary to form, being an equal-opportunities cunt and a random, arbitrary bastard at the best of times, I actually had a reason to harsh him in the first instance.

I didn't engage him until he started a thread calling a mod a 'fucking retarded prick' for simply doing his (voluntary) job. I'm not complaining. It worked out wonderfully, and it keeps getting better. But it wasn't for nothing. :smilie4:

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

...
Now it sounds like you have decided to try this persona on IRL. Please let us know how that works out for you. :)

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Don't you go worrying your pretty little head about me MBM, I'll be just fine. I suspect this meeting is as much to do with the fact that my manager is aware that I have head hunters after me, as it is to do with any email I wrote.

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Originally Posted by rejectOfAllah

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

...
Now it sounds like you have decided to try this persona on IRL. Please let us know how that works out for you. :)

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Don't you go worrying your pretty little head about me MBM, I'll be just fine. I suspect this meeting is as much to do with the fact that my manager is aware that I have head hunters after me, as it is to do with any email I wrote.

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Gee, you must be really good at giving blowjobs. Even your manager wants a go.

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Originally Posted by rejectOfAllah

I suspect this meeting is as much to do with the fact that my manager is aware that I have head hunters after me, as it is to do with any email I wrote.

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http://i41.tinypic.com/33eoq3b.jpg

Now you've gone paranoid on us. :wacko:

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Originally Posted by Biggles

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

Usually when I have sexy times with a man he wants to do it again. In this case, the plaintiff, who we shall refer to only as 'R' insists that although he would like to spend more time with me sex is by no means a foregone conclusion. I think it is. Obviously I could just rape him like I normally do, but I would really like to try consensual sex for once in my life. Since the feted occasion of our coupling I have been trying to show an interest in his shit and sending him Youtube clips of the Borg and Dominion wars (Star Trek franchise) in an attempt to inflame his ardour. To be honest I'm almost out of ideas. We have arranged a Star Trek DVD fest at his place over the Xmas period. Would it be too much to turn up as Jeri Ryan in a Santa outfit? Obviously I want to avoid this sort of thing happening:



:eyebrows:

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Without necessarily being overly specific what did you do to him the first time round? :unsure:

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Ffs, Squeams. Les is wanting something to put in the wank bank.
The only reason I've been posting here is to keep the thread at the top so I can revel vicariously in your answer.

Details. We must have them.

hai, btw :wave:

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Originally Posted by manker

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Originally Posted by Biggles

Without necessarily being overly specific what did you do to him the first time round? :unsure:

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Ffs, Squeams. Les is wanting something to put in the wank bank.
The only reason I've been posting here is to keep the thread at the top so I can revel vicariously in your answer.

Details. We must have them.

hai, btw :wave:

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I suppose I could make do with the pic MBT just posted ... that is pretty orsum :unsure:

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Originally Posted by Biggles

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

Usually when I have sexy times with a man he wants to do it again. In this case, the plaintiff, who we shall refer to only as 'R' insists that although he would like to spend more time with me sex is by no means a foregone conclusion. I think it is. Obviously I could just rape him like I normally do, but I would really like to try consensual sex for once in my life. Since the feted occasion of our coupling I have been trying to show an interest in his shit and sending him Youtube clips of the Borg and Dominion wars (Star Trek franchise) in an attempt to inflame his ardour. To be honest I'm almost out of ideas. We have arranged a Star Trek DVD fest at his place over the Xmas period. Would it be too much to turn up as Jeri Ryan in a Santa outfit? Obviously I want to avoid this sort of thing happening:

:eyebrows:

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Without necessarily being overly specific what did you do to him the first time round? :unsure:

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You're hamstringing me before I even get out of the gate, Meths x

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Originally Posted by manker

Ffs, Squeams. Les is wanting something to put in the wank bank.
The only reason I've been posting here is to keep the thread at the top so I can revel vicariously in your answer.

Details. We must have them.

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Sorry, I came as fast as I could. I was busy lolling on Facebook, and then lolling some more at the last few pages. Also trying to sort out all these quotes while they distorted like a bag of shit.
I'm afraid Les doesn't want any gory details; my hands are tied.

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Originally Posted by manker

Damn your spoiler. Damn it to hell.
I was so sure my (completely altruistic) plan would work - and then you splayed its inner workings for all to see, like some kind of frog in a lab.

You know, you're kinda funny for a girl. Maybe you could try and tell some jokes about aids or jews. Guys like that kinda thing :idunno:
Failing that, do the Jeri Ryan Santa outfit. There isn't a guy alive who wouldn't baste you on the xmas dinner table in front of the entire family if you walked into the room dressed like that.

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Are you kidding me? That works with MOST of them, but this isn't just any old guy, this is a Marks and Spencer guy. He's dead classy and everything. We went to a classical music concert in a church and he didn't fart or look bored once. Plus he doesn't like British comedy so my charms are largely lost on him. If only he was more like you lot my life would be a lot easier, and so would he.
I don't think I'm going to go for the Jeri Ryan costume, I think it would be frowned upon most strongly. I think I shall just tiptoe about like a sexual ninja and get laid somewhere else until he comes around to the idea in his own time :happy:

By your description, Squeams, he reads like an absolute wank-the-chickens.

Why do you want him?

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Originally Posted by chavis

By your description, Squeams, he reads like an absolute wank-the-chickens.

Why do you want him?

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Massive Star Trek fan :happy:
God I hope he never reads any of this......

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

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Originally Posted by chavis

By your description, Squeams, he reads like an absolute wank-the-chickens.

Why do you want him?

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Massive Star Trek fan :happy:
God I hope he never reads any of this......

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Hey, I like Star Trek, but I wouldn't fuck a ferengi.

Study the rules of acquisition or something. Chances are someone has already done that joke in this thread so fuck that.

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Originally Posted by Squeams

Are you kidding me? That works with MOST of them, but this isn't just any old guy, this is a Marks and Spencer guy. He's dead classy and everything. We went to a classical music concert in a church and he didn't fart or look bored once. Plus he doesn't like British comedy so my charms are largely lost on him. If only he was more like you lot my life would be a lot easier, and so would he.
I don't think I'm going to go for the Jeri Ryan costume, I think it would be frowned upon most strongly. I think I shall just tiptoe about like a sexual ninja and get laid somewhere else until he comes around to the idea in his own time :happy:

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Yeah, you keep that costume for when I'm up in Londinium on a stag weekend in the new year :smilie4:

Usually I find myself raising a judgmental eyebrow at people who rail; 'LOL UR BF IS GAY' when a girl on a male dominated message board waxes lyrical about some guy in her life. But I also find myself wondering if he's good with colours or if he was a little too light on his feet when he whisked you away to the classical music concert in a fecking church.

Then again, he might just be middle aged. My Dad shops in M&S, takes my mam to musicals and tells me that everything I like on telly is shite - and I'm pretty sure he isn't after bumsecks. Hopefully :unsure:

Oh, he likes Star Trek.
Disregard my earlier post. He's obviously got his head screwed on :smilie4:

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Originally Posted by chavis

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

Massive Star Trek fan :happy:
God I hope he never reads any of this......

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Hey, I like Star Trek, but I wouldn't fuck a ferengi.

Study the rules of acquisition or something. Chances are someone has already done that joke in this thread so fuck that.

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Originally Posted by manker

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Originally Posted by Squeams

Are you kidding me? That works with MOST of them, but this isn't just any old guy, this is a Marks and Spencer guy. He's dead classy and everything. We went to a classical music concert in a church and he didn't fart or look bored once. Plus he doesn't like British comedy so my charms are largely lost on him. If only he was more like you lot my life would be a lot easier, and so would he.
I don't think I'm going to go for the Jeri Ryan costume, I think it would be frowned upon most strongly. I think I shall just tiptoe about like a sexual ninja and get laid somewhere else until he comes around to the idea in his own time :happy:

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Yeah, you keep that costume for when I'm up in Londinium on a stag weekend in the new year :smilie4:

Usually I find myself raising a judgmental eyebrow at people who rail; 'LOL UR BF IS GAY' when a girl on a male dominated message board waxes lyrical about some guy in her life. But I also find myself wondering if he's good with colours or if he was a little too light on his feet when he whisked you away to the classical music concert in a fecking church.

Then again, he might just be middle aged. My Dad shops in M&S, takes my mam to musicals and tells me that everything I like on telly is shite - and I'm pretty sure he isn't after bumsecks. Hopefully :unsure:

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No, he came with me to the concert because I wanted someone to go with.
Actually I'm starting to recall some advice I gave him about how to play hard to get with women...and......ah, shit :(

Oh, and if your dad hasn't bumsexed you by now he probably never will. That ship has sailed I'm afraid. But there's always your children? :console:

Like fuck.
My dad will have to get in line if he wants to bumsecks my children.

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

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Originally Posted by manker

Ffs, Squeams. Les is wanting something to put in the wank bank.
The only reason I've been posting here is to keep the thread at the top so I can revel vicariously in your answer.

Details. We must have them.

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Sorry, I came as fast as I could. I was busy lolling on Facebook, and then lolling some more at the last few pages. Also trying to sort out all these quotes while they distorted like a bag of shit.
I'm afraid Les doesn't want any gory details; my hands are tied.

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Jebus, no wonder you aren't getting any cawk. The details, he wants them gory.

Les said without necessarily being overly specific. That's bloke speak for; 'I'm putting a caveat in there so you don't have a period fit on me for being rude'.

My dad made me promise that after he died, I'd make sure to deposit his ashes up the sphincters of each and every one of my children on a weekly basis.

Glod rest his soul.

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Originally Posted by chavis

My dad made me promise that after he died, I'd make sure to deposit his ashes up the sphincters of each and every one of my children on a weekly basis.

Glod rest his soul.

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:glag:
I think I may have just pished myself.

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Originally Posted by manker

Jebus, no wonder you aren't getting any cawk. The details, he wants them gory.

Les said without necessarily being overly specific. That's bloke speak for; 'I'm putting a caveat in there so you don't have a period fit on me for being rude'.

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But he doesn't have to do that with me, I have never knowingly been offended.
Anyway, you know what Les is like. He could ask me to do the most degrading things previously thought humanly impossible and I would just think he was being a lovely sweet old thing with a minor pecadillo.

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Originally Posted by chavis

My dad made me promise that after he died, I'd make sure to deposit his ashes up the sphincters of each and every one of my children on a weekly basis.

Glod rest his soul.

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You're a good son. He would have been proud x

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

Anyway, you know what Les is like. He could ask me to do the most degrading things previously thought humanly impossible and I would just think he was being a lovely sweet old thing with a minor pecadillo.

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I think that's the key to his success with wiminz, that silver tongued Scotch fox.

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

I have never knowingly been offended.

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Attachment 94521

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Originally Posted by chavis

My dad made me promise that after he died, I'd make sure to deposit his ashes up the sphincters of each and every one of my children on a weekly basis.

Glod rest his soul.

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Was your dad immensely fat by any chance ? :blink:

Actually, while we are on the subject, it seems that Glod has forsaken us.....

I prefer to think that Glod is just watching us from a distance...

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Originally Posted by manker

Attachment 94521

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WTF? :glag:

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

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Originally Posted by manker

Attachment 94546

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WTF? :glag:

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It was late. No combination of smiles or words would convey 'But you're a girl, they're always getting offended about stuff, but on the off-chance it's true, and given half a chance, i'm sure i could remedy that. Also, I posted a soliloquy 24 hours ago to the effect that I had never been offended. We appear to be of the same mind. Please prime your back-doors for being smashed in over pina-coladas.'

All that flashed thro' my mind when I read that one line. So I took a pic of my face at the exact time I was thinking it and posted that instead of words.

Attachment 94548

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Originally Posted by manker

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

WTF? :glag:

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It was late. No combination of smiles or words would convey 'But you're a girl, they're always getting offended about stuff, but on the off-chance it's true, and given half a chance, i'm sure i could remedy that. Also, I posted a soliloquy 24 hours ago to the effect that I had never been offended. We appear to be of the same mind. Please prime your back-doors for being smashed in over pina-coladas.'

All that flashed thro' my mind when I read that one line. So I took a pic of my face at the exact time I was thinking it and posted that instead of words.

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I thought it was probably intended to convey that sentiment, but never in my wildest dreams could I have hoped it contained intent to back-door smash :smilie4:.
I read your soliloquy and wholeheartedly agreed with it. I just fucked up the quotes and gave up trying to reply to it. Don't suppose you remember the Brasseye paedophile spoof? I was about 17 when I watched it and I think it broke me. I've tried everything to try to be offended ever since, even alternating Frankie Boyle and South Park for several hours Clockwork Orange style. It's no use though. If you can't be offended by that Brasseye doc you will never be offended by anything, ever.

paedogeddon, ftw.
"paedophiles have more genes in common with crabs than they do with you and me. Now that is scientific fact, there's no real evidence for it, but it is scientific fact"

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Originally Posted by Proper Bo

paedogeddon, ftw.
"paedophiles have more genes in common with crabs than they do with you and me. Now that is scientific fact, there's no real evidence for it, but it is scientific fact"

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Does this have anything to do with children getting lice?