You have pigtails? I prefer my women with short hair, like the haircut of a young boy. You are free to collect my seed, I wouldn't be bothered much with its fate once I've dispensed of it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
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You have pigtails? I prefer my women with short hair, like the haircut of a young boy. You are free to collect my seed, I wouldn't be bothered much with its fate once I've dispensed of it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
I'm almost 32, of course I don't have pigtails. Also, I used to have short hair but it made me look like a man on account of my masculine jaw and stern facial expression when I'm at rest :(Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
So it looks like you'll have to find someone else to father your children.
Attachment 100403Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous of Nine
:smilie4:
Pfft. That's nothing. Desperate Dan is frightened of me.Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
I remember looking in the window of a bus a while back, and thinking 'who the fuck does that aggressive bitch think she's looking at?' Then I realised it was my reflection.
Now that you've rejected my seed, I feel like suddenly taking an interest. For another perspective, Katee Sackhoff can sort of look manly, but I'd totally let her plow me with her clit boner.Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
1. I remember being stuck in traffic a while back looking out my window at the other drivers, and thinking 'who the fuck does that aggressive bitch think she's looking at?'. Then I realized it was my wife's reflection.
2. I remember being stuck in traffic a while back looking out my window at the other drivers, and thinking 'who the fuck does that aggressive bitch think she's looking at?'. Then I realized it was Sqeamous coming for my seed.
3. I remember being stuck in traffic a while back looking out my window at the other drivers, and thinking 'who the fuck does that aggressive bitch think she's looking at?'. Then I realized I didn't take off the drag.
4. I remember being stuck in traffic a while back looking out my window at the other drivers, and thinking 'who the fuck does that aggressive bitch think she's looking at?'. Then I realized I wasn't in a car and a prostitute was trying to rope me in.
5. I remember being stuck in traffic a while back looking out my window at the other drivers, and thinking 'who the fuck does that aggressive bitch think she's looking at?'. Then I realized this is an awesome template.
Stopped reading there. Also, will no longer defend you in an effort to see your tits. Goodbye. :dry:Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
That's now three people who thought you were a precocious eleven year old former Countdown champion.
When will 'that woman' stop misleading people :no:
http://i.imgur.com/EEdlY.jpgQuote:
Originally Posted by megabytemeStopped reading there. Also, will no longer defend you in an effort to see your tits. Goodbye. :dry:Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
You could always try to befriend Reject, since he apparently has some pics of my tits dating back to when they were worth a butchers. However, I believe he doesn't befriend internet people, so you have your work cut out for you.Quote:
Originally Posted by megabytemeStopped reading there. Also, will no longer defend you in an effort to see your tits. Goodbye. :dry:Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
Hope this helps x
I told you, I'm a hairy builder from Connecticut. I've been completely open about this from the start; the spoiler was there for anyone to open. You're the last person I would expect to have a problem with it :idunno:Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
..
..
So what I'm hearing is that your tits were a lot nicer before you became a vegetarian.Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
To be honest, they're just tits. Standard, quite common sacks of mammary tissue that happen to be attached to my ribcage. As far as I know they function as nature intended, and that's enough for me.Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
While I understand that many here are atheists , I truly believe that was taking the sacrilege a bit too far.Quote:
Originally Posted by SqueamousTo be honest, they're just tits.Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
I don't people should ever see what other peoples body parts looks like. It leads to all sorts of trouble.Quote:
Originally Posted by SqueamousYou could always try to befriend Reject, since he apparently has some pics of my tits dating back to when they were worth a butchers. However, I believe he doesn't befriend internet people, so you have your work cut out for you.Quote:
Originally Posted by megabyteme
Hope this helps x
I am a reformed character by the way. I'm a model of internet virtue nowadays :innocent:
Weren't you the little tyke who photoshopped me topless once? :ermm:Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbarossa
For some reason or other I can never see the word reformed without thinking of questionable chicken and 2 for £1 chicken kievs which brings me back to the bewb picture above :ermm:Quote:
Originally Posted by BarbarossaI don't people should ever see what other peoples body parts looks like. It leads to all sorts of trouble.Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
I am a reformed character by the way. I'm a model of internet virtue nowadays :innocent:
:lol: :lol:
So there we have it. Official. From the mouth of Les, legendary Skype lothario.
Squeams' tits look like reformed chicken.
Tits is tits. It is.
To be honest, I don't care about tits, neither does Keira Knightley's agent. I heard you could see her tits in A Dangerous Method, but I watched it and only saw her nipples, no tits.
She (Keira Knightley) lets it all hang out in 'The Hole', if you are in a prurient mood. :blink:Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
Truth is, I wasn't told that she shows her tits in A Dangerous Method, but after seeing it, I'd imagine some might say that. However, it's interesting that you choose the verb "hang" to describe the action her chest flesh performs.Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtemisShe (Keira Knightley) lets it all hang out in 'The Hole', if you are in a prurient mood. :blink:Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
I hope none of this badgering of Keira Knightly's tits will make the female here squeamish. I'd still rape Keira.
http://i42.tinypic.com/2i0dkl4.jpgQuote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
As for Keira, she's just gotten too thin. She looked great early in her career.
I wasn't using the verb hang to describe the action her chest flesh performs, as the adverb out in the sentence shows, since hanging out would certainly defy the law of gravity. I was in fact using an english colloquial phrase to 'let it all hang out', in other words to show off your naked glory. Being a merkin I understand your lack of grasp of english colloquialisms while having such excellent replacements as fo' shizzle in your own dialect. :blink:Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmackyTruth is, I wasn't told that she shows her tits in A Dangerous Method, but after seeing it, I'd imagine some might say that. However, it's interesting that you choose the verb "hang" to describe the action her chest flesh performs.Quote:
Originally Posted by Artemis
You must understand my dilemma, if I strictly adhered to the abstract nature of the phrasing, I would have lost yet another opportunity to cruelly pick on Keira Knightley. You did leave it open enough to make it accessible, mind you. Own up to it.Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtemisI wasn't using the verb hang to describe the action her chest flesh performs, as the adverb out in the sentence shows, since hanging out would certainly defy the law of gravity. I was in fact using an english colloquial phrase to 'let it all hang out', in other words to show off your naked glory. Being a merkin I understand your lack of grasp of english colloquialisms while having such excellent replacements as fo' shizzle in your own dialect. :blink:Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
I'm with mbm, Keira is the most delectable of fancies. Although it is a shame she got so thin.
it's her voice and her mouth, how her teeth do that weird cute thing and those dark rimmed brown eyes.
Perhaps there are more important things than tits.
..
I duno. They're like pointy but upwards.
..
:unsure: no
I wrote my last quickly but what I meant is that she has pointy pre-molars which are visible further up her gum than is usual so as to make the top of them look pointy as well.
Like shiny enamel rhombic jewels.
I've only ever showed Les my bottom on skype :snooty:Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
Not at all. In fact, if I were inclined to worry about having perfect tits I would be more worried about the shape than the size. It's a fact that big ones tend to attract insalubrious sorts of men who drive around in dirty vans and have a coarse vernacular, but are likely to knock your back end into next week. Smaller ones tend to be the preserve of your more intellekshul man, who are likely to have a little more finesse in the sack. Either way, you can't really lose. You wouldn't really want one that hangs lower than the other, or is two sizes bigger, or sit around your waistline tho'.Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
I'm really not that bothered about any of that anyway, since I have decided that they are the ones I was born with and that's that. I'm quite glad they're a bit more Knightley than epic porn star though, because I'm athletically built and they'd be hard to cart around on long runs. And would look really stupid, obviously :ermm:
WTF? You realise women in their 20s don't wear them 2 inches below their collarbone?Quote:
Originally Posted by megabyteme
Have you ever actually seen a real pair of tits?
There can't be many people who are unaware of Jedward now... :unsure:Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
Although the screen on my Skype isn't the greatest I can confirm that Squeams has a lovely bum.Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
Well, not exactly, but I assumed I must have been close as the diagram indicates approximately where my hand placements got me slapped by the corresponding age of woman... :(Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
To be fair that merely confirms that a woman of any age will in all probability slap you if you touch then rather than the placement of their actual bewbs.Quote:
Originally Posted by megabytemeWell, not exactly, but I assumed I must have been close as the diagram indicates approximately where my hand placements got me slapped by the corresponding age of woman... :(Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
Nice pins too. She was traipsing around the London underground in her knickers a while back.Quote:
Originally Posted by BigglesAlthough the screen on my Skype isn't the greatest I can confirm that Squeams has a lovely bum.Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
London girls...so cosmopolitan.Quote:
Originally Posted by chavisNice pins too. She was traipsing around the London underground in her knickers a while back.Quote:
Originally Posted by Biggles
:happy: I'm currently bouncing around my flat listening to dirty house and doing the housework. That's just how I roll.
:inlove:Quote:
Originally Posted by Biggles