Why is it that

Shit comes & goes. If I'm ok to great with whom/what/how I'm doing. Then the shit xgf/friends/money doesn't devastate. It just bothers me on occasions.

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Originally Posted by popopot

If I was being a smart arse, I would just tell you to wear a peg on your nose and stick in some earplugs, but you are right, it is much easier to dish out the advice over the interweb than to try and explain how to execute it. I would suggest talking to a friend – someone that might know about what happened during that time, but definitely someone that you know will help you ‘spin’ the negatives into positives. Although, like Biggles said, it does have its limits, it might be a good place to start. Once you start, you should keep going until you get it all out and to a state where it won’t affect you again – not just as a quick fix for the moment.

Hmmm, where to start?

First, you need to get into a positive frame of mind: think/list about all of the good things that came from and since the event in question 2 years ago, e.g. has it made you a better, stronger person; all the achievements you have done since then as well; basically, why are you ace?

Second, think/list all of the bad/sad things that were brought up from the event in question 2 years ago and why they make you sad.

Third, ‘re-frame’ the sad things into happy/positive ones, or try to think ‘do I really need to be sad about this?’. You need reasons not be sad about whatever it is you are feeling sad about – perhaps why you’re in the good and whatever 2 years ago was is in the bad.

Its quite difficult to explain, but I think this how I would go about it.

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Isn't this rationalizing a situation, in a sense, and reprogramming your cognitive side to start with a positive foundation, rather than assuming/expecting the worst of situations? Skweeky remembers from a smell something shite that happened, so instead of automatically remembering the bad, you're associating positives to that situation/smell, which, if repeated, will become an automatic response to that situation, a positive one.

I know what i mean!:frusty:

Yeah, that's exactly what I mean.
It's not like I wake up in the morning, remember something bad and decide to brood on it all day.

It just happens and I have no control over it.
It's kinda hard to reprogramme yourself that way...

I think I read something a couple of years ago about a technique called 'brain-resetting.'
It involved regularly repeated noises ( like a clock ticking) whilst 're-feeling' the bad moments in your life. Apparently it should help dissociate.

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Originally Posted by Skweeky

Yeah, that's exactly what I mean.
It's not like I wake up in the morning, remember something bad and decide to brood on it all day.

It just happens and I have no control over it.
It's kinda hard to reprogramme yourself that way...

I think I read something a couple of years ago about a technique called 'brain-resetting.'
It involved regularly repeated noises ( like a clock ticking) whilst 're-feeling' the bad moments in your life. Apparently it should help dissociate.

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:O Or turn your brain to mush

There is a chap playing bagpipes badly in the glen, now is a golden opportunity - nothing turns the brain to mush faster than badly played bagpipes (well maybe violin).

There must be a gentler way to disassociate bad experiences from everyday events.

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Originally Posted by Barbarossa

And how much exactly are you paying this charlatan for these pearls of nonsense :blink:

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:O :rolleyes: :tease: :schnauz: :angel_not