The piss out of you at the urinals? Perfect place for that. You should thank them.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheese
Printable View
The piss out of you at the urinals? Perfect place for that. You should thank them.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheese
"How's the baby, is she sleeping through the night yet?"
This is in fact the most annoying thing is ever said to me. I am inclined to rip the throat out of the next person who says this to me today... :angry:
My girlfriend was reading the thread and sent me these (:ph34r:):
Quote:
"Have you cut your hair?"
No. It retracted back into my skull you twonk.
"Is your hair naturally curly?"
No, I wanted to look like Crystal Tips.
The worst though is simply "is your hair natural?"
No you fuckweed, its synthetic. I get it all the time and it really pisses me off.
:dry:Quote:
Trance/Hard House...
Anyone into it on this board?
Customer walks into computer shop...."Hi, I'm computer illiterate".
Please Jebus, just kill me now.
Telemarketing mortgage/home improvement/bill consolidator people......Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbarossa
Telemarketer - "Hello may I speak to Bob Wilford?"
Me - "You have the wrong number."
Telemarketer - "Well may I speak with the current homeowner?"
No MOTHERFUCKER!!:angry:
Now I fuck with them and act like an immigrant that can't understand what they're saying.
Mortgage specialist:ermm: - "Hello may I speak with Alex Benjo?"
Me - "Yes ha yes (in a smiley voice)"
MS - "Yes Alex I'm calling from 1st FuckYouOver Mortgage and would to show you how you can decrease your monthly mortgage payment by half. Does that sound good to you?"
Me - "Yes ha yes"
MS - "If you don't mind my asking what is your current mortgage at?"
Me - "Yes ha yes"
MS - "Sir, what is your current mortgage, sir....?"
Me - "Uh Ok yes (still smiling)"
MS - "No sir I was asking your current mortgage."
Me - "Uh...ok yes."
MS - "Is your wife available?"
Me - "Yes ha yes"
MS - "May I speak with her, sir?"
Me - "Yes ha yes"
MS - ".......Sir, whaaaat isssss yoooouuurr moorrttggaagge attt cuurrreeennttlly? I oonnlly wwaanntt tthhhee innnffooorrrmmaattiiiooon ttoo ssavve yyouu BIGGG mmmonneyy"
Me - "Money.....yes ha yes, money"
MS - "Yeeeaahhh, that's right, monnnney. So.....how much is your mortgage?"
Me - "Yes ha yes"
Believe or not. I'm the one that has to hang up.:ermm: My gf is fucking laughing her ass off falling on the floor with tears coming out of eyes.
I get these calls everyday on an identaring line. I'll be changing my number as soon as the new Yellow Pages gets listed.
Either way it's a nice predinnertime laugh.
For telemarketers just say:
"Stop fucking around Bob, have you got the bodybag and chainsaw yet?"
Well If I have time I just fuck with them.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheese
I'll give all this bogus information and then they drive out to that location to give a presentation and the people's houses they go to don't wtf the "mortgage specialist" is talking about.
On the flip, I always find out what they're selling first. I got my very first charge card (American Express) and also my lowest rate credit card (5.9% fixed) through telemarketers.
"Asian chicks are hawt."
"I'd hit that."
"She's hawt."
and so on so forth.
Cashier at Best Buy during pre-Christmas rush...."Did you find what you were looking for?"
No dipshit, I enjoy standing in lines.
Paying for gas during sub-zero snowstorm..."Would you like a carwash today?"