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:lol: I love this joke :) [/b][/quote]Quote:
Originally posted by Autumn Fox+27 March 2004 - 00:12--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Autumn Fox @ 27 March 2004 - 00:12)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-ashutosh_cool16@26 March 2004 - 15:38
My Dog Named Sex
(...)
same here, thats a gr8 joke :lol:
Three baseball fans leave the stadium after a game and come across a dead, naked woman lying in the middle of the street. After they call the cops, they each take off their baseball caps and place them on the dead woman out of respect and to cover her private parts until the cops arrive.
The first fan places his Boston Red Sox cap over her left breast, the second places his Phillies cap on her right breast and the third fan places his Braves cap on her pubic area.
The cops finally arrive, and the officers take statements from the fans to find out what happened. After explaining that they found her naked and covered her up with their caps, the cop went over to examine the body.
He briefly lifted the Red Sox cap, and quickly replaced it. Then he lifted the Phillies cap, and also quickly replaced it.
However, when he lifted the Braves cap, he stared and stared for what seemed to be two or three minutes. Finally, he let the cap drop, walked away, wrote in his notebook, then returned and lifted the Braves cap once again and stared for a long time.
As he was walking away the second time, the fans were curious and stopped him to ask why he spent so much time looking at the woman's genitalia?
He replied, "It's the first time I've seen anything but an asshole under a Braves cap."
“I’ve been making a lot of Freudian slips lately,” a man says to his friend. “Like what?” asks his buddy. “Well, last week I asked the train conductor for two pickets to Tittsburgh.” “I did something similar the other day,” says the friend. “My wife and I were having breakfast, and instead of saying, ‘Honey, please pass the butter,’ I said, ‘You bitch—you ruined my life!’”
After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at the Air Base with my eight siblings and me - all under age 11.
Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of us entered the cramped customs area. A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, "Ma'am," he said, "do all these children and this luggage belong to you?"
"Yes, sir," my mother said with a sigh. "They're all mine."
The customs agent began his interrogation: "Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?"
"Sir," she calmly answered, "if I'd had any of those items, I would have used them by now."
The official allowed us to pass without opening a single suitcase
Why Muslim Terrorists are So Quick to Commit Suicide
Just received some top secret information here. Very interesting!
Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide.
Let's see now:
No beer, No bars, No radio, No television, No Playboy or Penthouse, No Teasers, No rugby, No Football, No basketball, No baseball, No golf, No dancing, No music.
No bikinis on the beach, No nude beaches, No summer mini skirts and bra less beauties.
No BBQ pork, No Ham, No bacon, No hot-dogs, No burgers, No lobster, No shellfish, or even frozen seafood sticks.
Christmas Rags for clothes and towels for hats, Constant wailing from the guy next door because he's sick and there are no doctors, Constant wailing from the guy in the tower.
You can't shave, your wife can't shave and you can't shave your wife.
Sand is everywhere, Sand gets into everything, you wipe your backside >with your left hand without toilet paper, and you can't shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung.
The women have to wear baggy dresses and veils at all times, your bride is picked by someone else, she smells just like your donkey, and your donkey has a better disposition.
Then your leaders tell you that when you die, you get the 77 virgins and it all gets better!
So, no mystery here.
A preacher was telling his congregation that anything they could think of, old or new, was discussed somewhere in the Bible. The entirety of the human experience could be found there, without exception. After the service, the preacher was approached by a woman who said, "Preacher, I don't believe the Bible mentions PMS." The preacher replied that he was sure it must be there somewhere and that he would look it up. The following week, after service, the preacher called the woman aside and showed her a passage which read, ... "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem."
lol
Jack's grandfather left him ten million dollars, and the next week Diane agreed to marry him. After three months of married life, Jack noticed that his beautiful new wife was ignoring him more and more. On the rare occasion that she would go to bed with him she would be indifferent, or even worse, called out other men's names! Whenever they went out in public, she ignored him and flirted with other men.
Finally, he decided to confront her. "Diane," he said, "the only reason you married me was because my grandfather left me ten million dollars when he died!"
"Don't be ridiculous," she replied, "I don't care who gave you the money!"
Q. How can a woman tell if she is flat chested?
A: She will look down her dress and the two bumps she sees are her knees.
The day after his arrival, they instructed him to set up the dining room table for 4 people, that they were inviting the Cohens to brunch. The couple then left the house to do some shopping.
When they returned, they found the table set for 8 people. They asked the butler why eight, when they had specifically instructed him to set the table for four.
The butler replied..... "The Cohens telephoned and said they were bringing the Bagels and the Knishes."