a bit of a laugh pt 2

Mary: "My last boyfriend said he fantasized about having two girls at once."
Jill: "Yeah, most men do. What did you tell him?"

Mary: "I said, 'If you can't satisfy one woman, why would you want to piss off two?'"



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A co-worker told George that George's wife was being unfaithful everyday at 1:30 in the afternoon with George's best friend. Worried and hurt, George ran home at 1:30 to see if this was true.
He came back to the office contented and relieved.

His co-worker asked him how it went.

"Look," said George. "Don't start such terrible rumors! That guy isn't my best friend...I don't even know him."



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Two Arabs boarded a flight out of London. One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, an American sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, the American kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, "I need to get up and get a beer."
"Don't get up," said the American, "I'm in the aisle seat. I'll get it for you." As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the American's shoe and spat in it. When he returned with the beer, the other Arab said, "That looks good, I'd really like one, too." Again, the American obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone the other Arab picked up his other shoe and spat in it. When the American returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.

As the plane was landing, the American slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

"Why does it have to be this way?" he asked. "How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes...the pissing in beers?"

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"Why does it have to be this way?" he asked. "How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes...the pissing in beers?"

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lmfao :lol: that was a good one

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She replied, "If you reach up a little farther you'll find a nice set of balls too. I'm not going to be drafted either!"

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lmfao

Quote:

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Originally Posted by cpt_azad

lmfao :lol: that was a good one

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:lol: ya.

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.
After 20 years, the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure device... a vibrator!

Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy . . . you explain the kids."



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The moon shown silver on the waters of the lake and the waves that were beating on the shore were hardly equal in intensity to the waves of passion nearby.
One ardent couple paused long enough for the young man to whisper, "Darling am I the first man to make love to you ?"

Her tone, upon answering, was slightly more than irritable. "Of course you are!" she said, "and the best, too--I don't know why you men always ask the same old ridiculous questions."

A mother and son were walking through a cemetery,
and passed by a headstone inscribed 'Here lies a
good lawyer and an honest man.'

The little boy read the headstone, looked up at
his mother, and asked 'Mommy, why did they bury
two men there?'

______________________________________________________

2 drunks were walking down a railroad track
one night when one drunk stops and says,
"This is the longest set of stairs I have
ever seen".

The other drunk says, "Yes and these damned
handrails are too low too."
________________________________________________________

This 80 year old woman went to the big city
to get a gynecological exam. The doctor looked
her over and said that she had the worst case of
clap he had ever seen.

She said that could not be possible because she
was a virgin. So She went to another doctor and
he told the same thing. She was tired of this
crap so she went back to her home town to meet
with her regular doctor. She told him what they
had told her and that she was a virgin.

The doctor looked her over and said those doctors
are full of shit you don't have the clap, your
cherry has rotted and you have fruit flies!

lol

him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy . . . you explain the kids."


you already did this one, but last time it was a cucomber

who cares dude? i obviously haven't seen it. sometimes reposts are necessary, and afterall baccyman has posted hundreds of em i doubt even i could keep track of em all. btw, where u been colt? been a while.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by colt45joe

him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy . . . you explain the kids."


you already did this one, but last time it was a cucomber

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oh noez! repost! what will we do!