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I burnt myself on some hot marinara sauce bubbling on my stove.
I first administered CPR to myself for about an hour.
I then transfused myself with 5 pints of blood or was it KC Masterpiece Bar-B-Que Sauce. Whatever it was, it was in the cupboard.
I am planning to intubate myself shortly.
Am I taking all this too lightly.
My thumb does sting quite a bit.
I think intubation is the best idea.Quote:
Originally Posted by hobbes
I just stuck a funnel up my nose and I feel much better.Quote:
Originally Posted by JPaul
Thank feck, it was getting serious for a moment there.Quote:
Originally Posted by hobbes
If you decide to crack open your chest, please to be taking pictures.
I'd recommend a song for that.
I cracked my chest first.Quote:
Originally Posted by clocker
I was doing open cardiac massage for an hour.
I thought that was the obvious first step.
It is the stop, drop and roll of marinara burns.
I think the obvious first step would have been to ask what Jesus would have done.
Followed by self-administered cardiac massage, naturally.
How'd the sauce turn out by the way?
If you'd thought to simply amputate, you could be eating by now. :dry:
Not everyone's a doctor like you.:shifty:Quote:
Originally Posted by j2k4
I'm a brain surgeon; I don't do amputations, Ross.Quote:
Originally Posted by rossco
Well...not for money, anyway. :naughty:
I thought you had to do a brain amputation to create republicans :PQuote:
Originally Posted by j2k4
http://www.discover.com/images/issue...s-lobotomy.jpg
That would be totally incorrect; precisely 180 degrees from reality, in fact.Quote:
Originally Posted by vidcc
Politically speaking.
Liberal brains are raw gray matter, untrained and puppy-like, but with an arrogance born of their ignorance.
Conservatives are finely-honed machines stropped to withering keenness. :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by j2k4
I knew it!!! All conservatives are robots.....
pwned, and not sad for it...:DQuote:
Originally Posted by sArA
The vice presidents got the right idea..just shoot the f*ckers
Yup.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gripper
And Cheney would be the epitome of " finely-honed machines stropped to withering keenness."
Well, the withering bit at least....
Yes indeed I hear that ctrl+alt+delete is a much used functionQuote:
Originally Posted by j2k4
I'm huntin wepubwiccan wabbitQuote:
Originally Posted by Gripper
http://img109.imageshack.us/img109/6...yshots25kt.jpg
i would reccomend chopping the finger off. :D