Worst gift you ever received and given...

Having read Manker bought his loved one a bin as a gift....whats the worst gift anyones ever bought you?

My grandmother buying me the biggest box of condoms i've ever seen when i was 16 "as i was old enough". Then realising upon use of condom, they were all french ticklers and randomly flavored of Jelly bellys.. Maybe worse thinking my nan was a bit perverted.

And whats the worst thing you've bought for someone?

Me....gotta be a blender for my ex...as i like smoothies. She's an ex....so i stole the blender back.

I bought my missus a vegetable steamer once. It's still in the box :dabs:

Crabs.

A dangly car-deoderisor thingy. I can't drive, and I don't own a car, let alone a smelly one.

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Originally Posted by MCHeshPants420

Crabs.

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Hoi. You said you really liked them. Especially Cyril, the operatic crab.

I thought you'd say the bug zapping tennis racket I bought you.

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Originally Posted by jimbo12345

Maybe worse thinking my nan was a bit perverted.

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She probably meant for you to use them on other girls.

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Worst present I ever got was when CrabGirl bought me a book on the finer points of grammar for my birthday earlier this year ... talk about trying to teach Grandma to suck eggs (no offence, jimbo).

(Only joking, me dear - it was a great read and some parts had me in stitches ... maybe a bit sad to admit that :unsure:).

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Originally Posted by manker

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Originally Posted by jimbo12345

Maybe worse thinking my nan was a bit perverted.

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She probably meant for you to use them on other girls.

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Worst present I ever got was when CrabGirl bought me a book on the finer points of grammar for my birthday earlier this year ... talk about trying to teach Grandma to suck eggs (no offence, jimbo).

(Only joking, me dear - it was a great read and some parts had me in stitches ... maybe a bit sad to admit that :unsure:).

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:(

Highlight the post :lol: :rolleyes:

I did, noob.

// :emo:

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Originally Posted by manker

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Originally Posted by jimbo12345

Maybe worse thinking my nan was a bit perverted.

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She probably meant for you to use them on other girls.

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Threemonths later i was told i was gonna be a father...not to my nan...thats just wrong.

Maybe should have bought another variety, as on later inspection of the box, stated "not to be used for contaception"

oxymoron...like Internet, not for porn"

Worst present I ever got was when CrabGirl bought me a book on the finer points of grammar for my birthday earlier this year ... talk about trying to teach Grandma to suck eggs (no offence, jimbo).

(Only joking, me dear - it was a great read and some parts had me in stitches ... maybe a bit sad to admit that :unsure:).

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You found a grammar book funny? Care to elaborate on which parts. Though simile is close to smile....

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Originally Posted by Barbarossa

I bought my missus a vegetable steamer once. It's still in the box :dabs:

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U r a bloke!??:unsure:

Ooops!

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Originally Posted by jimbo

You found a grammar book funny? Care to elaborate on which parts. Though simile is close to smile....

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Yeah, sure - if you fix up your quote box.

It's particularly untidy atm.

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Originally Posted by jimbo12345

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Originally Posted by Barbarossa

I bought my missus a vegetable steamer once. It's still in the box :dabs:

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U r a bloke!??:unsure:

Ooops!

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Yeah, so stop PMing me for pics, fag :ermm:

lolz

nvm

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Originally Posted by manker

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Originally Posted by jimbo

You found a grammar book funny? Care to elaborate on which parts. Though simile is close to smile....

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Yeah, sure - if you fix up your quote box.

It's particularly untidy atm.

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I dont know how to....being a nOOb.

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Originally Posted by MCHeshPants420

You should have left it as "fix up your qute box". Sounds dirty. :naughty:

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It does sound quite rude ... altho' I was talking to the horse-penetrator :pinch:

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Originally Posted by Barbarossa

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Originally Posted by jimbo12345

U r a bloke!??:unsure:

Ooops!

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Yeah, so stop PMing me for pics, fag :ermm:

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From a guy with Barbie written twice and fluff all over his comment box, and a flag highlighting the many colours in the homosexual spectrum....i'll just smile.

hypocrite

I'm wasted here :emo:

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Originally Posted by manker

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Originally Posted by MCHeshPants420

You should have left it as "fix up your qute box". Sounds dirty. :naughty:

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It does sound quite rude ... altho' I was talking to the horse-penetrator :pinch:

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no....that's the fly that penetrates....i just observe.:blow::wank:

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Originally Posted by Barbarossa

I'm wasted here :emo:

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Christ, that's all you stoners ever go on about. :dry:

:coat:

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Originally Posted by Cheese

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Originally Posted by Barbarossa

I'm wasted here :emo:

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Christ, that's all you stoners ever go on about. :dry:

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Religious stoners :blink:

Worst gift I ever received: A tiny lolly-pop wrapped in TONS of tissue and dental floss with 2 quarters in it as well. The guy said the tissue was to wipe my tears of joy. Only problem was, people don't cry when they feel awkward for someone. So...I did lick and consume the lolly pop, floss the candy from my teeth, but for the tissue...I decided to wipe my ass with it instead. It was conveniently in my pocket the same time the dispenser went empty! Saved the day....


Worst gift I ever gave: Sneezing on someones cake.

I gave someone a badge for their birthday that said "Wearing a badge, yeah?"

no expense spared:smilie4:

Cigarettes

The gift that keeps on giving.

i once got given a caligrafy set for christmas, i can't fucking spell let alone rite :dabs:

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Originally Posted by Mr. Mulder

i once got given a caligrafy set for christmas, i can't fucking spell let alone rite :dabs:

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In the country i am residing in presently there are only 3 prof calligraphers (splee checkpls) - one who is a friend is making shit loads of money from it, but couldnt handle the freelance part of it and got a job at criminal dep as head of signature control instead.

i gave my girlfriend a pearl necklace once, she looked at me and i knew she was'nt happy.

Were they natural pearls or cultivated, some people only like them if they are natural.

I got a sweater for Christmas. what I really wanted was a screamer or a moaner.

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Originally Posted by MCHeshPants420

I got a sweater for Christmas. what I really wanted was a screamer or a moaner.

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:glag: from some of the post's I thought she was a moaner:whistling

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Originally Posted by MCHeshPants420

I got a sweater for Christmas. what I really wanted was a screamer or a moaner.

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http://www.mcbrien.plus.com/liam/img...dabumdeesh.gif

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Originally Posted by MCHeshPants420

I got a sweater for Christmas. what I really wanted was a screamer or a moaner.

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Bah. Girls don't sweat, they glow.

Not even original, and I'm sure you've posted that before. :unsure:

It was worth the repost
What's your sideswipe for "girls don't fart" then
they exhume?

They dig up dead people????

Anyway I didn't deny that girls farted. They do. But worse than boys cause they're sneaky about it. They also do the other thing....lots.

Please please i don't want to know what "lots" contains.
although i agree with sweat vs glow
but it depends on the lighting, even the ugliest epidermus can glow in the right light.

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Originally Posted by CrabGirl

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Originally Posted by MCHeshPants420

I got a sweater for Christmas. what I really wanted was a screamer or a moaner.

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Bah. Girls don't sweat, they glow.

Not even original, and I'm sure you've posted that before. :unsure:

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Girls dont sweat they glow?

Wtf...Leeds girls sweat like Michael Jackson in a toy shop.

A fat girl 'glows', she glows like the Chernobyl accident. And thats not a good thing.

Thin girl "glows" like an xray.

Other girls just sweat.

Fact.

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Originally Posted by jimbo12345

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Originally Posted by CrabGirl

Bah. Girls don't sweat, they glow.

Not even original, and I'm sure you've posted that before. :unsure:

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Girls dont sweat they glow?

Wtf...Leeds girls sweat like Michael Jackson in a toy shop.

A fat girl 'glows', she glows like the Chernobyl accident. And thats not a good thing.

Thin girl "glows" like an xray.

Other girls just sweat.

Fact.

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:lol: