Printable View
My OH has gone away, so I have no-one to look after. As such I haven't had a square meal for 3 days, am slightly pissed and today caught myself eating porridge out of the pan to 'save on washing up', while blowing all my cash on internet shopping and searching Youporn.
If there's much more to it than that I'd like to hear it :snooty:
I want to be a man. Sob.
You paid for porn. Amateur. :biggles:Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
-bd :ermm:
Youporn is free.
it's very, very, very overrated. :dabs:Quote:
Originally Posted by CrabGirl
Lets swap sex for a few days then. Give each other a break
sounds hawt :o mulder will be so jealous. :shifty:
He doesn't fancy you that much.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alien5
Poor naive fool :cry:.....it's official, I have bigger balls than BD.Quote:
Originally Posted by CrabGirl
:lol: youpwnt
:rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by SextentHe doesn't fancy you that much.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alien5
:eyebrows:
you're not a man till you've mouthed off at a barman in a bowling ally bar with a childrens party in ear shot and then turned the whole situation around and gotten a free drink out of it :snooty: ...youporns a start though, spankwire and redtube are better :yup:
i give it another two days before Squeamous is sat in her pants watching The 300 and eating a brick of jelly because its there and feels like bewb.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CrabGirl
I know, silly. However, she implied that she paid for it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
-bd
So you say. :snooty:
:glag:Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Mulder
No chance. If I wanted boob I'd go out and get me some, like a proper man :shifty:
Well I do have to pay for my broadband :yup:Quote:
Originally Posted by brotherdoobieI know, silly. However, she implied that she paid for it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
-bd
Have you tried weeing standing up yet?
There's another way? :unsure:
You don't steal your neighbor's wireless? Amateur.Quote:
Originally Posted by SqueamousWell I do have to pay for my broadband :yup:Quote:
Originally Posted by brotherdoobie
-bd
What is this new magic you speak of...wireless?
You can snap people's arms like twigs.
I once dreamt I had a penis and I was masturbating. :huh:
It was pretty weird.
Omg...I had one like that once! Did you cum in your sleep?
:yes:
That happens quite often actually.
I have those same dreams except im awake and hiding behind a bus stop.Quote:
Originally Posted by Skweeky
:lol: :earl:
Strange... earlier Gem was saying something about someone hiding behind the bus stop accross the road. :o
It's great being a woman!Quote:
Originally Posted by Skweeky
I have that dream sometimes! It's bloody great. :happy:Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
I wonder if men ever dream they have a vagina? :huh:
Mulder?
i dream i have one sitting on my face, is that the same thing? :unsure:Quote:
Originally Posted by Skweeky
Do you sometimes get the orgasm bit on a loop? It's annoying when you get the preamble on a loop and then wake up :pinch:Quote:
Originally Posted by CrabGirlI have that dream sometimes! It's bloody great. :happy:Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
That's ghost rape. My dad had that once....it tried to put its ghostly appendage in his bottom. I think he was dreaming :rolleyes:.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Mulderi dream i have one sitting on my face, is that the same thing? :unsure:Quote:
Originally Posted by Skweeky
Only slightly pissed ? Amateur :PQuote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
Close enough I think.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Mulderi dream i have one sitting on my face, is that the same thing? :unsure:Quote:
Originally Posted by Skweeky
I dream that I have big bouncy girl breast - every night. :yup:Quote:
Originally Posted by Skweeky
That would be the most awesome thing ever.
-bd
taking off your shirt in public getting attention for a quarter of a second and then people thinking whatever, not having to give a ... if you wore the same outfit good god twice in the same week. Being a guy and an awesome guy in that ftw!
Makes a change from turkey schnitzel I suppose :happy:Quote:
Originally Posted by brotherdoobieI dream that I have big bouncy girl breast - every night. :yup:Quote:
Originally Posted by Skweeky
That would be the most awesome thing ever.
-bd
It's irresponsible to leave a woman to cope on her own.Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
What if you'd needed to open a jar in an emergency, or if a spider had invaded your bathroom. :fear:
You'd have had to get AllenS to come round or something. :pinch:
Actually, Benchez would probably be a surer bet :dry:
I am an expert at opening jars. :eyebrows:
Spiders tho'. :fear: Get the fuck out of here.