>
> > 40 MISTAKES MEN MAKE WHILE HAVING SEX WITH WOMEN :
> >
> > 1) NOT KISSING FIRST.
> > Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her
> > feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's
worth
> > by cutting out nonessentials. A proper assionate kiss is the ultimate
> > form
> > of foreplay.
> > 2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR.
> > Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's
> > difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to
> > extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.
> > 3) NOT SHAVING.
> > You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you
> > rake
> > repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her
head
> >
> > from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.
> > 4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST.
> > Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they
get
> > their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.
> > 5) BITING HER NIPPLES.
> > Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're
> > trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly
sensitive.
> >
> > They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking
your
> >
> > tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a doggie toy isn't.
> > 6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES.
> > Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and
> > thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus
> > on
> > the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.
> > 7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY.
> > A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and
> > West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which
> > you've ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown
> > Vagina. So start paying them some attention.
> > 8) GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED.
> > Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled
> > fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask
> > her to take the damn things off.
> > 9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT.
> > Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it.
> > 10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS.
> > Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along
> > side of the clitoris.
> > 11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK.
> > Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they
> > plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there,
> > keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.
> > 12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY.
> > Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the
> > waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant
> > present, not a kid's toy.
> > 13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY.
> > Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the
> > material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.
> > 14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA.
> > Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still
believe
> > that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there
> > than you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay
> > in
> > principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt - so don't get
carried
> > away. It's best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior
of
> >
> > her vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if
she
> > likes it.
> > 15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY.
> > You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in
> > the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.
> > 16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY.
> > Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move
> > toward getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of
> > buttons.
> > 17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST.
> > A man in socks and underpants is at his worst. Lose the socks first.
> > 18) GOING TOO FAST.
> > When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can
do
> >
> > is pump away like an industrial power tool - she'll soon feel like an
> > assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly,
> > with clean, straight, regular thrusts.
> > 19) GOING TOO HARD.
> > If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach,
> > the
> > pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few
> > seconds.
> > 20) COMING TOO SOON.
> > Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites
of
> > her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.
> > 21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH.
> > It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the
> > mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb
vagina.
> >
> > At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to
hold
> >
> > her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.
> > 22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME.
> > You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you
> > really don't know, don't ask.
> > 23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY.
> > Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth
down
> >
> > there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on
her
> > clitoris.
> > 24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN.
> > Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it
> > will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It's
about
> >
> > three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her
> > to
> > use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.
> > 25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX.
> > Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes
it.
> >
> > When she's performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do
> > what's necessary.
> > 26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO.
> > Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie
> > there. And don't grab her head.
> > 27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES.
> > In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them.
In
> >
> > real life, it just means more laundry to do.
> > 28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES.
> > Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does
all
> > the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite
> > so
> > much like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.
> > 29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
> > This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow
> > directions.
> > If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being
> > drunk is an excuse.
> > 30) TAKING PICTURES.
> > When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll hear the words -
"to
> >
> > show my buddies." At least let her have custody of them.
> > 31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH.
> > Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring
> > honey
> > on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all
> > handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.
> > 32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS.
> > There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.
> > 33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES.
> > If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a
> > Romanian
> > gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual
> > partner with snapped hamstrings.
> > 34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE.
> > Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they
> > have
> > a prostate. Women don't.
> > 35) GIVING LOVE BITES.
> > It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the
> > neck,
> > if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and
> > jaunty scarves for weeks on end.
> > 36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS
> > Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big
> > turn-on.
> > 37) TALKING DIRTY.
> > It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line.
If
> >
> > she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know.
> > 38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES.
> > You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and
> > she
> > might even do the same for you.
> > 39) SQUASHING HER.
> > Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too
> > heavily, she will turn blue.
> > 40) THANKING HER.
> > Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your bedroom is not a soup
> > kitchen.
