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A friend of mine has recently found herself dating again, and wants to know.... what is most likely to put a man off: allowing him to put his finger up her bum on the first date, or joking that she's been busy burying the corpse of her ex? Only she's done both and suddenly the texts have dried up......or maybe his phone is broken? :yup:
This is in the strictest confidence btw.....
The bum fun on the first date was a mistake. Now all he has to look forward to is getting buried in her garden.
Met a nurse last year in another city who was recently divorced.She was 28 and looking good.We first talked on the phone and she seemed ok then meet ... then soon after we had sex ... all was ok she seemed like a nice girl with her head in the right place.Ofc i got back to my place and after that all got crazy.She was acting desperate said she want to come to my place meet my parents and some other stuff that basically would ruin my life.So i got scared and deleted her from my life dot Now im extra careful about the girls i meet.
Doing those two things and acting like she was acting raised flags for the guy.If his phone broke it was on purpose.
That would depend on how swampy it wasQuote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
:smilie4:Quote:
Originally Posted by callum
Fake number and a cheap motel?Quote:
Originally Posted by snap3r
Or an even filthier second date:smilie4:Quote:
Originally Posted by callum
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Proper BoOr an even filthier second date:smilie4:Quote:
Originally Posted by callum
It'd get a second date from me, like.:smilie4:
Wouldn't want a relationship with a burd who let you do that on the first night tho'.
You have dirty, dirty friends, Squeamous. :wub:
Nah the girl had her own apartment and sadly she had my real number cuz well she was a nurse and she had access to my file :pinch: ( went there for a routine checkup )Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
Oh my God, that is a real abuse of position, you poor thing!! I wouldn't use a number unless someone gave it to me in person. She should really have known better :hug:
J-dye, Squeamous asked for a man's opinion- not just someone who had been fingered in the ass. :no:Quote:
Originally Posted by hoktavio
I cannot tell a lie, I am that 'friend'. Although I took artistic licence with the truth a little for comedy purposes.
It was his cock not his finger.
No, no, I'm still joking, srsly!!
Or am I? :shifty:
It just it all depends on what the finger smelled like afterwards...
That makes more sense on why she never heard of from the guy :yes:Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
Or maybe she will again when the guys pop-sickle wants some action.
It's impossible to tell, you did once say your other half collected lord of the rings figures or something like that, so it was really just a matter of time before you left him. But you do seem a bit geeky as well, so you might be into that sort of thing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
Leaving him and killing him are two different things. Maybe she was asked to dress up as gollum for cosplay?
Nah, it can't be that, that would just be dressing in a loin cloth and the make up of a goth. He probably asked her to put on a beard and carry an axe and things got out of hand.Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth Rings
I've gone all geeky now, glad I didn't say anything about her just having shaved her feet, so frodo wasn't an option.
A British girl who does anal- what's not to love? You don't even have to look at the bad teeth while doing her... :P
If the finger had been the other way around, would your texts have dried up.Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
what, knuckle first?:blink:Quote:
Originally Posted by Something ElseIf the finger had been the other way around, would your texts have dried up.Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
I was just about to protest but then I saw my scale model of the USS Enterprise out of the corner of my eye and decided against it :dry:Quote:
Originally Posted by callum
Of course not. That's the difference between men and women though. A woman will think 'yeah he really enjoyed himself, I am a sex Goddess...YEAH!' a man will think 'she probably enjoys herself like that with EVERYONE', and that will dent his fragile ego.Quote:
Originally Posted by megabyteme
It's been my experience that online "females" with a proclivity to broach the subject of sodomy often turn out to be homosexual males. :sick:
:shifty:
Maybe he used one of his texting thumbs on you, then fell in love to the extent he desires the thumb to remain forever unsullied by soap and water...but doesn't want to bugger-up his phone?Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
Perhaps you could text him to stretch a prophylactic device over his phone so as to text safely.
You've turned me in to Someone Else. :eyebrows:Quote:
Originally Posted by SqueamousI was just about to protest but then I saw my scale model of the USS Enterprise out of the corner of my eye and decided against it :dry:
Of course not. That's the difference between men and women though. A woman will think 'yeah he really enjoyed himself, I am a sex Goddess...YEAH!' a man will think 'she probably enjoys herself like that with EVERYONE', and that will dent his fragile ego.Quote:
Originally Posted by megabyteme
Don't be silly, if I text him he'll think I'm obsessed with his phone, possibly wanting babies or marriage with it, which I totally don't! Not right away anyway.Quote:
Originally Posted by j2k4
Oops, sorry! xQuote:
Originally Posted by j2k4
Some guys might be turned off by the burying X statement...I don't really see any big issues with the finger up the bum though.
i met this burd in a wetherspoons once up north, told her to come down south for a dirty weekend. she got through the front door, put her bags down and started undressing right away in my hallway. got her in the bedroom and started fucking her from behind and she said to slip a finger up her bumhole, i of course did. this was all very well except it was at the hight of swine flu in the uk and i had gotten it the day before (unknowingly). so i was there on my knees banging away whilst having one finger inside her rectum thinking i don't really want to be doing this and was starting to flop out, then i stopped, lept out of her and ran to the bathroom and threw up. i saw her one other time after that.
hope this helps.
:lol: :pinch:Quote:
Originally Posted by SqueamousOops, sorry! xQuote:
Originally Posted by j2k4
It's nice to see your posts again. Young lady. Are you still a scientist, or is my memory inventing the fact that you ever were.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Mulder
I dread to think what you did the second time to put her off. If she was cool with what happened the first time, it must have been worse. Logic dictates that.
I've let you be you this time....but don't get too used to it xQuote:
Originally Posted by Something Else
Yes, still a scientist - can't imagine ever being anything else :smilie4:
Not really, I hate Wetherspoons.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Mulder
Knew a girl once that needed to use 2 tampons.. 1 for Pink..1 for Brown
The horrible reality of Prolapse... and that started with just a finger..
Another mate had a similar situation to Mr Mulder...and He's marrying her next year :)
Polar Opposites I know, but I think your friend Squeamous.. Got off lightly =)
Ah yes, the finger is definitely a gateway drug to anal gang banging and full rectal prolapse.Quote:
Originally Posted by duarte
I rather think this is a good way to test a man: weed out the hypocrites and chauvanists before you get attached to them.
You want to test a man with a Rectal Prolapse? The imaginery alone has evoked symphathy and wincing...ewwww I'm so sorry/barfQuote:
Originally Posted by SqueamousAh yes, the finger is definitely a gateway drug to anal gang banging and full rectal prolapse.Quote:
Originally Posted by duarte
I rather think this is a good way to test a man: weed out the hypocrites and chauvanists before you get attached to them.
An elegant solution? http://www.extremerestraints.com/biz...-plug_440.html
No offence, but we only just met. I only do bunny tail butt plugs on the second or maybe third date.Quote:
Originally Posted by duarte
Prude. :snooty:Quote:
Originally Posted by SqueamousNo offence, but we only just met. I only do bunny tail butt plugs on the second or maybe third date.Quote:
Originally Posted by duarte