Morning wood explained

What is morning wood?

While many people will give you some goofy definition for morning wood that sounds like something out of a pornographic horror film, the true answer to the question "what is morning wood" is rather simple and mundane.

Lumbermen for years have bemoaned the problems associated with morning wood. Many a lumberjack has delayed starting the days work-- out of fears he had morning wood.

While it is widely known that the best hours to be roaming about in the forest is early in the morning, this is the very worst time of the day to cut timber.

It is a biological fact that plant cells undergo certain changes as the daytime progresses along. For most species of tree, the cells in the wood fibers undergo some rather dramatic changes during the first few hours of the day.

As you can see from the photos at left, trees that were felled early in the morning have a very poor grain structure and are weaker when used in construction.

Nowadays, you rarely find morning wood. Most lumberjacks have discovered that a douse with some cold water typically eliminates the problem. By the time the lumber reaches the consumer, any morning wood has been culled out or doused with curative cold water.

For those who are determined to see some morning wood for themselves, they should seek out their local county building inspector and ask to see some samples of morning wood. Most county inspectors are glad to help educate the public on this matter.

bone own :01:

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Originally Posted by Withcheese

Nowadays, you rarely find morning wood.

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I beg to differ.

I'm free tomorrow, so I'm offering one, no three lucky ladies, to share my secret stash.

Are you really sure you have enough to go round?

It'll be tricky, but I'll damn well give it my very best try.

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For those who are determined to see some morning wood for themselves, they should seek out their local county building inspector and ask to see some samples of morning wood. Most county inspectors are glad to help educate the public on this matter.

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i should try this

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pornographic horror film

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Anyone got a torrent link?

It's a wonder neither Jonno, nor Yogi has posted in here yet.

i hope I didnt miss the fun.....

Would you, by any chance like to be one of three very lucky ladies? :unsure:

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Originally Posted by SnnY

It's a wonder neither Jonno, nor Yogi has posted in here yet.

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Sorry, been eating :rolleyes:

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As you can see from the photos at left,

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Where teh pics? :01:

Jonno :cool:

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Originally Posted by JPaul

Can I get back to you on that one :whistling

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Do you feel lucky, or like a lady.

Otherwise extensive work may be required.

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Originally Posted by JPaul

Can I get back to you on that one :whistling

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perhaps not the wisest smiley to use in this instance :fear:

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Originally Posted by SnnY

It's a wonder neither Jonno, nor Yogi has posted in here yet.

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I was eating.......... :blushing:


[/Yogi starts chanting.........]


I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay
I sleep all night and I work all day
He's a lumberjack and he's okay
He sleeps all night and he works all day

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavat'ry
On Wednesdays I go shopping
And have buttered scones for tea
He cuts down trees...
He's a lumberjack...


I cut down trees, I skip and jump
I love to press wild flow'rs
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars
He cuts down trees...
He's a lumberjack...


I cut down trees, I wear high heels
Suspendies and a bra
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear papa
He cuts down trees...
He's a lumberjack...

Quit staring at my ass...and you wouldn't have morning wood! :blushing:

Peace bd