Not to make light of your self flagellation but how exactly does someone become "deserving" of an invite to a bt site?
Feeding the poor? Healing the sick ? Being a good parent? Unwavering honesty? Even something as basic as actually "caring" about the content?
Wait isn't it something more along the lines of communicating with faceless people over the internet but only in a way that "pleases them" , likely wasting time downloading things that you have no real interest in to build upload and ratio , perhaps learning some encoding not out of real interest but more as a means to an end or renting a seedbox using the allowance granted you by Mom and Dad ?
Anyway given the true criteria necessary for access to some such lofty places I wouldn't overly concern yourself about not being overly "deserving" of the continued privilege .
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