A Bit Of A Laugh

[baccyman]

Originally posted by 99shassan@20 June 2004 - 15:53
stfu man. I ain't complaining, I am just saying that because I remember this thread starting ages ago. No need to fucking chat to me like that

who are you talking to when you say stfu man
and talking like what i have not seen any bad mouthing

[99shassan]

I aint talking to you. I wasn't fucking bad mouthing you or this post. All I said was that I was suprised that this post lived on for so long. That doesn't mean that I am bad mouthing it. Most posts move on and we forget after a while, other than this one and a few others.

By the way

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is 24 hours a day/seven days a week?
A: A widow.

[baccyman]

i have been keeping this post going because i know a lot of people like to read the jokes . some people might reply some might not. but i know when i went on holiday/vacation . people wanted the jokes. so i have kept it alive.

[baccyman]

An old man, walking down the street, saw a small boy sitting on the curb crying. He stopped and asked, "Little boy, why are you crying?"
The little boy said, "I’m crying because I can’t do what the big boys do."

So the old man sat down alongside of him and cried, too.



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TOP 10 SIGNS THAT YOUR CHILD IS TOO OLD FOR BREASTFEEDING
10. He can open your blouse by himself, with one hand.
9. While suckling at one breast, he caresses the other.
8. He has developed a bad habit of flicking his tongue.
7. He keeps slipping dollar bills in your belt.
6. He uses your milk as creamer for his coffee.
5. Your birth control pills interfere with his acne medicine.
4. After each feeding, he has a smoke.
3. He frequently invites his friends over for dinner.
2. You feel an uncontrollable urge to listen to "Dueling Banjos."

And the number one sign your child is too old to breastfeed:

1. Beard abrasions on areola.



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One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on the butt and said, "If you firmed this up, we could get rid of your control top pantyhose."
While this was on the edge of intolerable, she kept silent.

The next morning, the man woke his wife with a pinch on each of her breasts and said, "You know, if you firmed these up, we could get rid of your bra."

This was beyond a silent response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by his penis.

With a death grip in place, she said, "You know, if you firmed this up, we could get rid of the gardener, the postman, the poolman and your brother."

[scribblec]

Originally posted by 99shassan@20 June 2004 - 14:53
stfu man. I ain't complaining, I am just saying that because I remember this thread starting ages ago. No need to fucking chat to me like that

the way u said OMG this post is still alive was like your dissing it ....


read the way u said it then u will understand.


saying stfu repeatidly has no affect what so ever so stop using it

this post is kept alive because its GOOD nothing shocking there and if u dont like that then you can stfu



btw keep up the good work baccy

[Autumn Fox]

Originally posted by baccy_man@21 June 2004 - 09:39
(...)
So the old man sat down alongside of him and cried, too.
(...)
TOP 10 SIGNS THAT YOUR CHILD IS TOO OLD FOR BREASTFEEDING
(...)
With a death grip in place, she said, "You know, if you firmed this up, we could get rid of the gardener, the postman, the poolman and your brother."

Nice ones

[baccyman]

A man playing golf by himself hits a hole in one on the fifth hole, and out pops a genie to offer him one wish. “That’s easy,” he says. “I wish I had a bigger dick.” “It will be so,” says the genie, who then disappears. The guy’s johnson grows longer as he continues playing, until by the 11th hole it’s hanging out of his pants leg. He gets another hole in one, and again the genie appears to offer him a wish. “I keep tripping over my dick, and it’s really annoying,” says the man. “So what is your wish, master?” asks the genie. “I want longer legs.”

[baccyman]

There are two sides to every divorce:
Yours and Shithead's.



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Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.



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In a mental institution a nurse walks into a room and sees a patient acting like he's driving a car.
The nurse asks him, "Charlie, what are you doing?"

Charlie replied, "Driving to Chicago!"

The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room.

The next day the nurse enters Charlie's room just as he stops driving his imaginary car and asks, "Well Charlie, how are you doing?"

Charlie says, "I just got into Chicago"

"Great," replied the nurse. The nurse leaves Charlie's room and goes across the hall into Bob's room, and finds Bob sitting on his bed furiously masturbating. Shocked, she asks, "Bob, what are you doing?!"

Bob says, "I'm f**king Charlie's wife while he's in Chicago."

[baccyman]

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican." "I am," replied the man. "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat." "I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?" "Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow now, it's my fault."



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A business executive injured his leg skiing one weekend. By the time he got home Saturday, the leg was very swollen and he was having difficulty walking, so he called his physician at his home. The doctor told him to soak it in hot water.
He tried soaking it in hot water but the leg became more swollen and painful. His maid saw him limping and said, "I don't know, I'm only a maid, but I always thought it was better to use cold water, not hot, for swelling."

He tried switching to cold water and the swelling rapidly subsided. On Sunday afternoon he called his Dr. again to complain. "Say, what kind of a doctor are you anyway? You told me to soak my leg in hot water and it got worse. My maid told me to use cold water and it got better."

"Really?" answered the doctor, "I don't understand it; my maid said to use hot water."

[baccyman]

A pair of congressmen met for lunch to hash out their political differences. Ten minutes into the meal, one angrily pounded the table. "You’re lying!" he shouted.
"Of course I’m lying," the other said, "but hear me out."



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There are three religious truths:
1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.

2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.

3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.