What can I do?

[Squeamous]

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I have received a text!!!

[manker]

It was late. No combination of smiles or words would convey 'But you're a girl, they're always getting offended about stuff, but on the off-chance it's true, and given half a chance, i'm sure i could remedy that. Also, I posted a soliloquy 24 hours ago to the effect that I had never been offended. We appear to be of the same mind. Please prime your back-doors for being smashed in over pina-coladas.'

All that flashed thro' my mind when I read that one line. So I took a pic of my face at the exact time I was thinking it and posted that instead of words.

I thought it was probably intended to convey that sentiment, but never in my wildest dreams could I have hoped it contained intent to back-door smash .
I read your soliloquy and wholeheartedly agreed with it. I just fucked up the quotes and gave up trying to reply to it. Don't suppose you remember the Brasseye paedophile spoof? I was about 17 when I watched it and I think it broke me. I've tried everything to try to be offended ever since, even alternating Frankie Boyle and South Park for several hours Clockwork Orange style. It's no use though. If you can't be offended by that Brasseye doc you will never be offended by anything, ever.

Yeah, I've got a copy of it now on this PC.
I remember having conversations at the time with people who were convinced it was real. Even after reciting lines to them like 'Internet paedophiles make your kids smell like hammers'. Possibly the greatest TV moment evar.

Altho' I don't recall being close to shocked or anything. I just found it really really funny. I must have been broken previously by something else.
<inb4 'your dad lol'>


So what did it say in your text?

[Squeamous]

Yeah, I've got a copy of it now on this PC.
I remember having conversations at the time with people who were convinced it was real. Even after reciting lines to them like 'Internet paedophiles make your kids smell like hammers'. Possibly the greatest TV moment evar.

Altho' I don't recall being close to shocked or anything. I just found it really really funny. I must have been broken previously by something else.
<inb4 'your dad lol'>


So what did it say in your text?

Yeah I remember not being sure of it. I knew it was a joke but I had to have a think about whether I thought it was offensive. Wrote one of my A-level essays on it in the end. Trouble is, if you've ever listened to Jeremy Vine on BBC radio 2 at lunchtimes you can see exactly why people weren't sure if it was real or not.

Oh yeah....text said he wants to meet up. In a public place, but never mind

[manker]

Radio 2 at lunchtime
You English people know how to live, I'm usually looking for some new porn about then for the obligatory five o'clock onanism.
hmmz, i wrote that as a throw-away jocular remark - but it's been true at least once this week

I spose you have two choices now with the M&S Star Trek dewd. Either an all out 'come on, let's fuck' statement, or the complete opposite where you play even harder to get than he is and even look mildly disgusted when you guise talk about sex. With the latter choice, he will begin to panic if he thinks his plan isn't working and whisk you off to a dirty latrine for fingering.
If he is indeed human, that is

[Squeamous]

Radio 2 at lunchtime
You English people know how to live, I'm usually looking for some new porn about then for the obligatory five o'clock onanism.
hmmz, i wrote that as a throw-away jocular remark - but it's been true at least once this week

I spose you have two choices now with the M&S Star Trek dewd. Either an all out 'come on, let's fuck' statement, or the complete opposite where you play even harder to get than he is and even look mildly disgusted when you guise talk about sex. With the latter choice, he will begin to panic if he thinks his plan isn't working and whisk you off to a dirty latrine for fingering.
If he is indeed human, that is

Some of us work hours dictated by the biological systems we're studying. I don't tend to have my actual lunch break until about 3 . Also I share an office so I try to keep the wanking to a minimum.

I think what M&SSTD needs to realise is that games don't work on me. I am a combination of female/sex drive of a man/no shame, therefore I could be being fingered in a dirty latrine every night of the week by a selection of hawt males if I wish. Ambiguities make me nervous however, so I am happy to give up such things for the predictability of a regular arrangement. I work in the public sector for similar reasons. It's really quite simple: he's either a one-off or a repeat offendee, not something in between. I shall explain the rules to him tomorrow

[manker]

Radio 2 at lunchtime
You English people know how to live, I'm usually looking for some new porn about then for the obligatory five o'clock onanism.
hmmz, i wrote that as a throw-away jocular remark - but it's been true at least once this week

I spose you have two choices now with the M&S Star Trek dewd. Either an all out 'come on, let's fuck' statement, or the complete opposite where you play even harder to get than he is and even look mildly disgusted when you guise talk about sex. With the latter choice, he will begin to panic if he thinks his plan isn't working and whisk you off to a dirty latrine for fingering.
If he is indeed human, that is

Some of us work hours dictated by the biological systems we're studying. I don't tend to have my actual lunch break until about 3 . Also I share an office so I try to keep the wanking to a minimum.

I think what M&SSTD needs to realise is that games don't work on me. I am a combination of female/sex drive of a man/no shame, therefore I could be being fingered in a dirty latrine every night of the week by a selection of hawt males if I wish. Ambiguities make me nervous however, so I am happy to give up such things for the predictability of a regular arrangement. I work in the public sector for similar reasons. It's really quite simple: he's either a one-off or a repeat offendee, not something in between. I shall explain the rules to him tomorrow

What I like best about this thread is that you started off not wanting to sound like Seven of Nine to M&SSTD. And you've ended up doing an unwitting (i think) parody of what Seven would do if she logged into your account and decided to answer me about her daily routine and plans for tomorrow.
It's absolutely fantastic.

I find myself as eager as a very eager thing to find out what happens tomoro night. Make sure you post here before copulation if it works out or regeneration if it doesn't.

[Squeamous]

What I like best about this thread is that you started off not wanting to sound like Seven of Nine to M&SSTD. And you've ended up doing an unwitting (i think) parody of what Seven would do if she logged into your account and decided to answer me about her daily routine and plans for tomorrow.
It's absolutely fantastic.

I find myself as eager as a very eager thing to find out what happens tomoro night. Make sure you post here before copulation if it works out or regeneration if it doesn't.

Oh it's too late for parody, the first time we were intimate it was the result of me forcing him into a nightclub cage and stealing his spectacles .
It's only shopping anyway, during the daytime. However I have cleared my schedule for the evening . I shall keep you posted.

[manker]

At first I was like; ooh, secks in a nightclub cage, how rewd

and then; texting you for a shopping date. On a Saturday afternoon when the footie is on.


I'm getting mixed messages.

[Squeamous]

At first I was like; ooh, secks in a nightclub cage, how rewd

and then; texting you for a shopping date. On a Saturday afternoon when the footie is on.


I'm getting mixed messages.

I don't think he likes football ?

[Biggles]

But he doesn't have to do that with me, I have never knowingly been offended.
Anyway, you know what Les is like. He could ask me to do the most degrading things previously thought humanly impossible and I would just think he was being a lovely sweet old thing with a minor pecadillo.

I had it on good authority that the thing with the goose fat, candle, gerbil and the riding crop was a old Latvian folk remedy and a perfectly wholesome way to cure bashfulness.